That’s better. Okay, straight in.
You’ve got to hand it to Vince McMahon, he sure knows how to piss people off. Whilst HBK did an awesome job of working the crowd and obviously added a few rib shots as the opening promo on Raw went along, the real tin foil on the teeth was spewing forth from the nasty mind of the WWE’s owner and it made for great television. Never mind all this crap about content, morality or logic, all fans want (even if they don’t know it) is something that contains passion and evokes a response. I was worried that after last week, where Shawn and Hogan squeezed about as much life out of this feud as there was to begin with, any attempts to keep the fire burning through dialogue between the two would fall flat so I was happy to see Hogan distracted for the night against Kurt Angle and Shawn left alone to do what he does best and annoy Canadians. The interaction between Michaels and the live audience was so much fun to watch and, unlike previous ‘YOU SCREWED BRET’ moments, there seemed to be a genuine sense of playing along from both parties. There’s no shame in hoping that Bret Hart would have walked through the curtain when his music played but I would surmise that your expectations are driven by desire rather than knowledge and that’s a dangerous thing in a cruel world. Especially one where Vince plays God. Still, it was the best segment on Raw since the last time HBK was allowed to be the shiny star in his own little show and I hope they find other ways (after taking Hogan out of the equation) of giving HBK this kind of platform to entertain in the future.
Speaking of Hogan, his match against Angle was no better or worse than I thought it would be so pointing out how slow and careful he looks in the ring is meaningless. As long as crowds keep drowning out the sound of Hogan’s joints creaking like a castle door with their enthusiastic cheers then his matches will come off with more heat than the rest of the card and who am I to tell them that they shouldn’t be seeing what they want to see? Again, a good move to have HBK abort the superkick and go for the Sharpshooter instead. Why waste time trying to draw pity from one egomaniac hurting another egomaniac when it’s easier to rile fans up with something a lot closer to home, especially something where the Canadian fans are the only source of comeback as Bret is still giving the WWE the cold shoulder. The Hogan/HBK stuff was the best-handled feud on the show because the writers realised that the build up needed a break or it would have aged badly before Summerslam. Maybe these kid’s tv/Hollywood writers are learning?
The handicap match involving John Cena and the team of Carlito and Chris Jericho was the match of the night. What was even more gratifying was that all three superstars stepped up and at no point did it feel as though someone was being carried to a credible contest. Carlito’s offence seemed to have more weight behind it, Cena concentrated on the combative element of the match rather than playing to his fans at every opportunity and Jericho looked more like the wrestler he was during his undisputed title reign, as opposed to his less focussed mid-card demeanour. This was also the first time, after several weeks of trying, that ‘stacking the deck’ against Cena has worked in his character’s favour. The lumberjack match and ‘Y2J as referee’ ideas were traditional ‘underdog’ tactics that I felt never really fitted in with Cena being champion but at last they’ve clicked Jericho’s physical and aspirational threats into place so he’s not just an asshole driven by a power-hungry General Manager.
I like psycho Kurt, always have done. Not so keen on the wheelchair-bound GM Kurt or ’gutter-slut’ loving pervert Kurt, but this is the most acceptable alternative to classic Kurt Angle (dorky and whining). Having Eugene outsmart Kurt at every recent turn is amusing stuff but it was unlikely to carry their feud into Summerslam and I was glad to see the change in Angle’s nature. Eugene is a walking sympathy-magnet and the match will benefit from proper storyline peril, though I would avoid taking away the optimism and naivety that makes his gimmick different from so many others and is mostly the reason why his ‘mentally-challenged’ character has survived past how long many observers thought it would.
Good match between Edge and Val Venis. No build up, no storyline and no run-ins, just two guys trying to work a solid television contest. A far cry from the troubled soul and the pornstar that we started out with. Edge looked really sharp and seems to be putting his all into whatever is asked of him, something that won’t be wasted on management when the decision is made whether to curtail his push or maintain his momentum post Summerslam. Just like with Hogan/HBK, Edge’s current storyline with Matt Hardy was given time to simmer this week (apart from a standard WWE video recap) and it feels like the absence worked, if only to allow fans to rebuild the idea that it’s a pro-wrestling contest and not a ‘life or death’ struggle, which was making it harder to take it all seriously. It’s a shame that Val puts on another decent performance and can’t use it as a way to progress. Though not someone that I would ultimately identify as a victim of misuse, his position within the company does seem to be lower than his ability and energy would suggest.
Rob Conway against The Hurricane (or ‘last chance for a piss before Hogan/Angle’ to give it its full title) slipped quietly under the radar not through quality but through a lack of reason to be there. If reports are to be believed then WWE management is quite high on Conway’s gimmick (or they were high when they created it) so we should expect to see more of it and him over the coming months. My concern is that the current main eventers and upper mid-carders aren’t going to touch Conway’s character with a disinfected barge-pole (and rightly so) so this overtly creepy image will only get him so far and why persist with an image that has a low glass ceiling? If, as in most cases, the gimmick gets reduced over time and the athlete becomes the focus (remember Edge and Venis?) then we are entitled to be spared the crappy music, the metrosexual facial hair and the sheer shorts, which quite frankly leave me feeling violated (and not in the good way). Just like previous storylines involving Hassan, Dominick, JBL, Viscera, Jillian and Angle, Vince seems unable to resist the temptation to dilute his product with that which is unpalatable and uncomfortable. But he should be aware that if he wastes it on something as superficial as ‘the con-way’ idea then the effect of his shock tactics will have diminished by the time he really needs it.
I’m still trying to figure out how Big Show/Heart Throbs came across so well on television. It didn’t mean anything, wasn’t competitive and contained two wrestlers we barely know and one that can hardly move. Yet it was a watchable few minutes and kept the crowd hot. Maybe Show has found his niche with novelty squash matches? It sure beats the hell out of watching him in a sumo match or spitting up poisoned apples. As for what this means for the Throbs (can I call them that?) and the wider ramifications for the tag team division? Does it really need saying? I think we can all see how much Vince rates tag team wrestling.
So your 2005 Diva Search winner is Ashley. Firstly I think we can all breathe a heavy sigh of relief that it’s over for another year, if only tempered by the fact that it will definitely be back in ten months time. I still find it odd that some people view it as the downfall of the WWE when it takes up roughly two hours of WWE airtime per twelve months and has as much chance (albeit a small one) of eventually producing a competent female performer as any other way. The obvious worry is that what is basically a beauty/popularity contest becomes the ONLY way in which female employees are determined, to the detriment of scouting good female wrestlers and bringing them up through the feeder promotions. Hopefully, both will continue. As for Ashley herself? Handing over an oversized cheque might make it seem like a material victory but in truth the only thing she has won is an opportunity to work hard. Like it or not; she got off her ass (if only to bare it in Playboy), put herself up for judgement and won. But grace periods don’t last long and she’ll need to impress in some way and soon. But, just like Christy last year, she deserves a chance.
It doesn’t take much to turn a bad show into a good one. This week’s Raw contained most of the usual suspects and definitely had that ‘over the top’, distasteful, work/shoot ephemeral quick-fix that had ruined previous weeks but the substance of the show was better to the point where the way in which it was presented couldn’t spoil it. Despite an enjoyable two hours, I can’t say that the WWE has corrected all that was wrong with its writing and general direction but a few more shows like this would make it seem less of a problem.
Lee
