Sex Sells
By Jonathan Brown
The oldest profession in the world is prostitution. While many people claim that sexual gratification should be non-existent, and intercourse should only be used to reproduce the species, there is a larger portion of the population that disagrees.
You are on the Internet right now, which means that you have been inundated with millions of pop-up and pop-under advertisements illustrating the human body in all of its glory. Sex sells and the WWE has caught on in ways that you may have never thought of.
Batista is sexy.
John Cena is sexy.
Edge is sexy.
You may have been freaked out by reading that but it is true. My personal opinion is not written above but facts are. When watching wrestling in the company of women fans I strongly suggest that a mop and Clorox wipes be kept handy. Think about it. Male wrestlers are next to naked. Women like men that are next to naked and buff.
Do you honestly believe that if men wore uniforms and wrestled, that women would be half as interested in the sport? The Dudleyz have the same appeal to the female audience as Moolah and Mae Young have to the male audience. But when Batista’s music hits and he makes his way to the ring in his maroon and gold speedoes, the only thing left to say is, “Clean up in aisle one.”
For those readers that are married, riddle me this: Who controls the remote control? The answer undoubtedly is your wife. While women are interested in soap operas and knitting patterns, the easiest and most effective way to catch a channel surfers attention is to put something sexy in their eyes. Instead of looking at your pasty body and generous love handles, she gets to look at men in peak perfection for her pleasure. While the men cheer for a winner she gets to have a new fantasy for two hours.
Tami from Pennsylvania and I had a long chat about the current World Champion. A sometimes watcher and huge Rock fan (another that gains the title of sexy), Tami forgets her husband when the Filipino sensation makes his way to the ring. You see, I never thought about wrestlers being sex symbols before. It never dawned on me that the Bra and Panties Match is nothing compared to the display of oiled up beef and bulges that women all around the country find themselves glued to. Monday and Thursday nights are nothing more than male strip parties!
The WWE knows that sex sells.
The much maligned Diva Search continues to draw the largest ratings for Raw each week, while many of us moan and groan about the time devoted to this competition as it takes away from the wrestling that we love to complain about. But sex sells. We like seeing the women in their uniquely cut outfits. We even love to see the women take the walk of shame as they have found out that they have been cut as we get one last look at their rear. Has there been one wrestling skill present in this competition? ‘Nuff said.
Some of you may argue that the only real thing about wrestling is the voting taking place on the Diva Search and that is why you watch it, please. The Diva Search contestants are like spoiled milk. It stinks like hell but we have got to get one more whiff. Sex sells. Have you found yourself on WWE.com watching the Diva video clips? Have you found yourself actually casting a vote? It is not because you are interested in their wrestling ability, readers. Christy Hemme, last year Diva Search winner, has been in all of three matches in one year. That $250,000 contract that she received was money well spent by WWE. That is why they brought it back.
Where is Daniel Puder? The Million Dollar Tough Enough winner has not been on WWE TV since the Royal Rumble. As real wrestling fans why have we not clamored for his debut? Because he is not sexy.
I do not miss Smackdown! for fear of missing Melina’s entrance to the ring. Clean up in aisle three! Stacy Keibler still gets a huge pop as she flashes her draws to the audience as she enters the ring. Wrestling web sites have turned to obtaining pictures of our favorite divas in their newest swimsuit poses. Many of you have helped vault Vaseline and Keri stock through the roof thinking about Stephanie McMahon, Trish Stratus and others.
Even in an attempt to gain “alternative” fans the WWE has done some outlandish things to prove that sex sells. Viscera’s “Prison Press” may appeal to some audiences as he creates an opposite alternative to Hot Lesbian Action. As does the tender moment shared between Dawn Marie and Torrie Wilson. To each their own. But the WWE is trying to hit all markets in their attempt to sell sex, sex, sex.
Oiled up men in tights, with bulges in their too tight shorts, turn many women on. Victoria and Trish grabbing at each other while we wait for a “puppy” to pop out is a turn on to many as well. Whatever your personal preference, remember that the WWE is going to try and sell something to keep you watching if for nothing more than the sex.