It took me about three hours to calm down, so I can write a quick update following what was a horrible edition of Monday Night RAW.
Perhaps, I should rephrase that, as there were some great things in this show. In fact, you’ll see what I’m talking about as I walk you through the show with my analysis of it.
Chris Jericho’s waste of ten minutes to open the show was nothing special. Although I apprecate him recapping the entire feud for me, this could have been done in half the time they took up. I liked the physical contact between him and Cena, as well as Bischoff trying to save his main event for SummerSlam, but as the show progressed, it made less sense.
Of all matches to put together and give some good time to develop, they did it with the one that features Big Foot (Fetish) and Captain Lack of Charisma (God, I miss Christian.) Why? It was actually fun at times, especially when Show and Shelton were working together, but for the most part when Shelton was selling, I swear I wanted to personally kill Snitsky and Masters so it can be over with. The fans were into it, so that’s all that matters though. I guess this is headed to a tag match at SummerSlam, or two single ones. I don’t know.
The Eugene Invitational was OK. It certainly wasn’t good, although I was somewhat surprised with Tatanka, who worked decently, but looked terrible. I think Matt Striker will get involved in this pretty soon. Time will tell. Eugene and Christy make an interest couple together, and I’m actually wondering if WWE will try to do something with that in the future. So did anybody understand why it was ok for Tatanka, who’s not from Mohegan Sun, to be the local hero while it wasn’t for Kurt? Apparently because although not from the area, Tatanka is still a Native American. You got to love their logic.
The backstage segment with Bischoff, Jericho, and Carlito was good.
Then came the crap.
Vince’s announcement of RAW being the longest running fiction show on TV, which is untrue anyway, was somewhat OK, and he got into the whole ego thing just so he can set up what was to come.
When he started talking about a superstar returning for “good business,” I flinched because Brock Lesnar crossed my mind, and boy would that have been a bad way to have him come back!
However, as I was flinching and saw Hardy in McMahon’s limo, I was done. Pure shit. I wanted to give it some time to see where it goes, perhaps I figured, it’ll go the right way. It didn’t. If they were to do this right, Hardy should have shaken Vince’s hand, pulled him over, and beaten the shit out of him. I literally mean beaten him up, even go as far as Vince doing a blade job. There’s absolutely no excuse whatsoever for not doing that. Hardy should have destroyed McMahon tonight. He’s been trying, for months through his website, and for weeks through his actions on TV that Jim Ross alluded to as “a crazed fan jumping the rail here,” to convey the point that he’s almost crossed the line of sanity for what Amy, Adam, and WWE has done to him, and he has put emphasis on WWE just as much as he has on Amy and Adam. Vince McMahon, the person who fired him, should have been nearly killed by Hardy to continue his storyline. Instead, they killed it by having him shake Vince’s hand and then half-ass say that unlike him, he’ll thank the fans. Absolutely horrible. This made no sense.
What followed was even worse. If Hardy’s angle wasn’t dead enough for them, they wanted to seal the deal on it, it seemed. I don’t know if he was told to say that, or if he came up with it, but whoever came up with the idea of having him break kayfabe and say that although Lita “played Kane’s wife on TV, she actually came back to him every night and lived with him over the past few months” – that person needs to be lynched. When I heard that, I almost puked. That was the absolute worst line I’ve ever heard in a promo in my entire life, and I mean that. And folks, I’ve sat through the entire Kane/Shane feud. Not only did Matt kill Kane, Edge, and Lita by saying that, but he killed WWE and wrestling’s purpose by saying that. Under no circumstances should the fourth wall be broken! After Matt said that, why should I now believe that his match at SummerSlam with Edge is for real? What if it’s just another “fake?” as he put it. UGH hideous stuff there. So was Lita ever pregnant, or was that fake too? Was Kane really married to her after all? All they had to do tonight was have Vince reintroduce Matt, and simply say that Matt and Kane, who have gone through hell and back and have put their difference aside for the simple purpose of getting back at Amy and Adam. It was so simple, they couldn’t possibly screw it up. And of course they did. How do I know that anything that’s said on TV is now for real? They lost a lot of credibility tonight in that segment.
The rest of Hardy’s promo was delivered well, and he did get people interested into his issues with Adam and Amy but he blew it majorly at the beginning. To me, that was unforgivable.
I am not sure what the idea of the Kerwin White/Vince McMahon segment was, other than to point out Vince is still a billionaire. Yeah.
Well, there goes another great worker. Someone call Buff Bagwell and let him know that the condom broke, because Rob Conway has arrived on the scene! They might as well have called him Buff Bagwell Jr. I’m waiting for the commercials for credit cards with his picture now.
I swear to God, Vince Russo books this show. Well, he can’t be, because of the next segment.
Shawn Michaels proved that he’s an amazing talent. I can tell you how to look for legends in wrestling – they’re the ones who make something out of nothing. They’re the ones who know how to turn shit they’re asked to do into gold. Michaels gave a tremendous example of that tonight. That segment could have been hideous, but the way HBK performed, he made something out of it. It was funny when it needed to be funny, it was serious, and it was dramatic, all when needed to. The problem I have with it is that HBK has basically turned himself face lately, and I won’t be surprised if it’s a split crowd at SummerSlam. If they’re smart, they’ll have Hogan follow up on this next week, by having him play up to HBK’s negatives. If that does indeed happen, and they go back and forth, then this will be priceless. Looking forward to what happens next week.
It’s sad that WWE can’t even get B-list celebrities, since they have to rely on Rob Schneider, who the Z-list celebrities are probably not familiar with. I will say that this was perhaps one of the better Diva Search segments because it was shorter and funny at times. Summer was a lot of fun, and had charisma, which is a great reason for her to be let go. Remember! You vote for them, although you never get to see how they’re doing %-wise or votes-wise. Lovely. Elisabeth is the only person from this show who should be in WWE. With a little luck, Layla could make a good addition too, but she’s too dumb.
Cena and Carlito had a match that I didn’t expect anything good to come out of. It was kind of stupid, too. If Jericho wanted to screw up Cena, with all the power he had and the things he was doing, he could have just counted to three and gotten over it with, even if Cena had kicked out. Who’s going to tell him anything? Bischoff, who’s at ringside HELPING him screw Cena? That made no sense at all that Jericho didn’t just count to three, or pulled a Michaels/Hart. The ending of the show, however, was strong with Bischoff and Jericho doing a great job in the segment, and Cena doing a good blade job, as well as selling it right. I like where the Y2J-Cena feud is going. It’s a good example that if you give something the right time, it might actually develop into something good. I hope Jericho carries him to a solid match at ‘Slam, because Cena needs that badly. If someone can do it, it’s Jericho, too.
And that did it for me. Wretched show because of the major Hardy screw up, in my opinion. Let me know what you think – E-mail me your thoughts.
