Full Credit: Ben Miller, WrestlingObserver.com
WWE SMACKDOWN! REPORT
By Wrestling Observer columnist Ben Miller
e-mail: ben_miller@mac.com
Date: July 21, 2005 (Taped July 19 in Baltimore, MD)
The Big News: Melina will be Maxim-level naked at The Great American Bash. At least, that’s the implied promise. Hey, they sold Unforgiven ’98 pretty well based on Sable stripping.
Title Changes: None.
Babyface/Heel Turns: None.
Best Match: Rey Mysterio beat Super Crazy via disqualification.
Worst Match: Road Warrior Animal & Heidenreich beat two jobbers in about twenty seconds. No blown spots, but wait ‘til Sunday.
Kodak Theater Moment: Nobody really deserved it tonight. Good to see.
Analysis/Highlights: …A message from the friends of JBL opens Smackdown. He’ll give his Great American Bash victory speech tonight. Nine years since Hogan turned at Bash at the Beach. Where has the time gone?… Official Smackdown opening has a lot of shots of Melina nowadays. Please, girl, don’t pose for Playboy… Speaking of Mexicans, Rey Mysterio is out and the Mexicools soon follow. Rey vs. Super Crazy, which could be very good. Good action to start with Rey pulling out some nice moves. Eddie comes out and we go to break…
…Super Crazy is in control with Eddie commentating ringside. Eddie is promising that he will win and reveal Rey’s secret at the Bash. Eddie is telling his wife that he loves her now. Hard to concentrate on the match, but the talk is good. Cole and Tazz insinuate that Eddie is bitter because he can’t beat Rey. Crazy tries a top rope springboard moonsault, but Rey rolls out of the way. Rey in control, but Crazy hits a legdrop followed by a great out-in springboard moonsault from the second rope. Rey wins by DQ after Eddie runs in and hits Rey in the back with the Mexicools’ rake. Not that the ‘cools are a draw, but they were really marginalized in this match… Another fake commercial comparing George Washington to JBL. If they really wanted to be funny, they’d compare him to a clown president from the past…
…Teddy Long runs into Eddie Guererro backstage and tells him he has a match against a secret opponent tonight… Christian is interviewed backstage by Matthews. Footage is shown of Christian giving Booker T the Unprettier. Christian gives a decent promo hyping Sunday’s match… Animal puts on his makeup backstage. Heidenreich reads poetry about them teaming together…
…Vignette comparing Neil Armstrong to JBL… Heidenreich and Animal enter to the Road Warriors entrance music. I have no idea who they are facing. The match lasts all of about 30 seconds as Heidenreich hits the Doomsday Device finisher. MNM looks on from backstage… Raw Rebound recaps the Hogan vs. Michaels angle. Still no motivation here, but who cares? It’s Hogan vs. Michaels…
…Eddie is out for his surprise opponent. It’s Chris Benoit, which could mean a great match. No buildup for two ex-WWE champs? Benoit does mic work trying to talk sense into Guererro. Eddie cheap shots Benoit to start the match. Quickly to commercial…
…Benoit is in control briefly, but Eddie takes back over. Good back and forth with Benoit hitting three German’s followed shortly thereafter by Three Amigos. Benoit finally stretches Eddie into the crossface, but Guererro makes the ropes. Just as it’s getting towards the finish, Eddie walks out for the count-out finish. Rey attacks Guererro from behind by the entrance set. Really good, stiff punches from Rey. They’re really working hard for this feud, and I think it’s hitting…
…Candace Michelle is out to thank the U.S. Military for the work they do. She announces that she will referee Torrie Wilson’s Bra and Panties match with Melina. Melina comes out to do a promo. Great delivery as usual. Melina attacks Michelle and strips her down. She must want Candace Michelle to get over. Torrie comes down and boots Melina from the ring. If you thought you’d see King Kong Melina in full view her unmentionables before the movie PPV, think again. That’d be retarded booking… JBL compares himself to Martin Luther “The” King in the next ad. Huge missed opportunity for George Bush JBL to trumpet Alberto Gonzalez Orlando Jordan as his assistant to “prove” that he loves Mexicans black people….
…The press conference hyping the Great American Bash in Buffalo is shown. Boy, watching Batista with JBL really shows how great HHH is… Booker T (w/ Sharmell) vs. Simon Dean is next. Dean does some mic work on Sharmell. Booker T wins quickly and gets on the microphone. He compares Christian to Simon Dean and mentions the Great American Bash… JBL compares himself to Ronnie Reagan. What’s the old line about the watery eyes of time? Five bucks says Bushy’s next…
…Boogeyman promo. Looks corny, but maybe that’s the look they are going for… Video package recapping the Mysterio vs. Guererro feud, followed by a rundown of the show. They are really selling this PPV on “moments”. Melina in her drawers, Eddie’s reveal, the Doomsday Device and JBL pinned clean. All things that they really keep off free TV for the most part. Really, it’s smart booking and I am expecting a very good buyrate here… Orlando Jordan is out…
…Jordan is at the podium in the middle of the Red, White and Blue ring. He talks about America’s imperialism. He compares the hatred towards himself to the “jealousy” that drives the hatred felt towards America. You know, he’s f’n right. Both parties draw “go away” heat almost everywhere they go. And both are booked by people who think its money drawing heat. Bradshaw guarantees that he’ll beat Batista. Ready for a DQ or countout? JBL lays down the “Wrestling God” line, which brings out the Best Hairline in Wrestling. Batista gives a fair interview promising to expose JBL at the Bash. Requisite heel attack, face comeback and spinebuster to the underling follows…
