I’ll be honest with you: I’m really getting tired of wrestling. I’m not sure if that’s because the lackluster product has drained my interest to the point where I no longer care, or if, simply, the WWE is actually a pretty okay show, and I simply just don’t care. Either way, most people who’ve written me in the last month have been quick to point out the obvious – I’m really down on the business these days.
Not to say that there aren’t some high points to what I’m watching nowadays, such as the return of Matt Hardy last night on RAW. How long that lasts, it’s hard to say. WWE is going to an awful lot of trouble to make this look real, because, in most instances, it is, or, at least, it’s real enough. Now, we, as Internet Fans, are, by nature, supposed to be so numb and jaded to the “fakery” of the business that when we see something like Matt Hardy’s return to RAW and subsequent Ring Of Honor plug (Matt will be debuting for RoH this weekend, wrestling Christopher Daniels), followed by a forcible removal from the building, that it was all pre-planned. But, let’s be honest here… did it at least LOOK real? I thought it did, and that’s the point. It doesn’t matter if wrestling isn’t “real”. The idea is to make it SEEM “real” enough as to allow the fan to sink into the fantasy world for those two hours and truly enjoy the show. For the first time in years, the wrestling audience is actually being given something where we can literally suspend disbelief and actually get into the storyline.
Another highlight these days is the reality-based heel run of Chris Jericho. WWE saw that Jericho was participating in several extracurricular activities, such as his band, his radio show, and his semi-regular appearances on various VH1 clip shows, and decided to run with it. Jericho was, much like me, bored with wrestling, and figured that his outside ventures had more stock, which was the attitude that led to his heel turn. The feud with Cena, though, has taken Jericho’s current persona to a new level, because Jericho, unlike me, has apparently found a way to rekindle that interest by taking down Cena and (hopefully) winning the WWE Title. Another reality-based angle, another huge success, and another great angle that, despite it’s often exhausting “banter segments” (where two or more guys have a dialog that progresses an angle) which last twice as long as they ought, still does what it intends to do – give the audience an “in” so they can sink into the fantasy for those couple of hours and actually be entertained.
WWE is even now giving us an angle between the Blue World Order and JBL based on the incident at the ECW One Night Stand PPV where JBL gave me, and a lot of other people, a brand new reason to hate him. Even now, we’re hearing comments from Stevie Richards saying that he stiffed JBL with a chair as a “receipt” for what JBL did to the Blue Meanie a few weeks back. How real is this? Well, it depends on how jaded you are. Because of where I am, I have to take this with a grain of salt. Either WWE is taking a cue from ECW and just letting the show go, or WWE is taking Machiavellian measures to control every little detail as to fool all of us into believing this is all real, and thus, creating a “new kayfabe” to replace what the wrestling industry claims we took away. It’s really based on what you know about the business, and what you’ve seen before. If you believe it’s real, I can’t blame you, because it looks like it could be. I’m just not prepared to go on record saying it is, because, really, I don’t know. But, even here, we see the WWE giving the fans something more or less based on a semblance of reality, thus, allowing us to sink into the fantasy for two hours and actually enjoy the show.
The problem, though, is that the whole show doesn’t do this. For instance, we’re not being given a good reason for the HBK/Hogan feud. I mean, it should be obvious. Michaels and Hogan are both very well known for being HUGE egomaniacs, right? Well, there’s no way both of them and their egos can fit on the same roster. So why not play on that? Why not make SummerSlam the “Battle of the Egos”? You don’t think fans will buy that from Shawn Michaels and Hulk Hogan? Of course, you’re talking to a guy who regularly makes the joke that Shawn Michaels’ ego has to wait outside of the arena because it’s too big to actually fit inside the building. But, if that’s true, then Hogan’s ego ought to have sunk Atlantis…
Anyway, my point is, if WWE is going to get all “reality-based” for parts of the undercard, why not go the full nine and make the whole show a “reality-based” deal? Why hold back? And that’s the problem, really. WWE holds back. Every time we see something closely mirroring reality, such as Jericho’s new attitude or Matt’s Hardy’s ambush on Edge, we see “Big Vis” being a big ladies’ man. Hate to say it, but somehow, I don’t buy it. Vis may be hungry for love, but I don’t think he’s getting it from all the women he’s supposedly getting it from. But Viscera isn’t the only example. We see the obvious staging of the RAW Diva Search like a patchwork quilt with loose stitching. We see the Hurricane, Rosey, and Stacy the Hurri-Babe. And, just to top it off, WWE is still trying to convince the world that John Cena is a thug, when it’s obvious that he’s really supposed to be the next big babyface a la Hulk Hogan. He’s not controversial. He’s not hardcore. He’s more or less going out there, shouting out his Cena-Maniacs, and posing, and posing, and posing, and posing. And when “real recognizes real” (as Cena would say), then it should be obvious that Cena is being groomed as a new Hulk Hogan, and we truly are reliving the 80’s. No, kids, it’s not just the Republican Presidency, the stagnant economy, the climate of constant fear, the marketing of watered-down punk music to children (anyone remember ‘new wave’?), and Missy Elliot to make us feel like we’re reliving the 80’s. We have John Cena, too. All he needs to do now is tear his shirt and hold a hand to his ear, waiting for all the kids to cheer…
If wrestling wants to become relevant, it needs to get real, and quit holding back. Otherwise, they’re just going to keep fans in a state of daze, where they could easily get bored with the product and start wondering why the hell they write that stupid wrestling column of theirs.
TheMaverickMJ@yahoo.com. Write me. Give me a reason to keep writing this column. Oh… and wake me up when September ends…
