Hands up anyone who thought the Matt Hardy angle on Raw last night was a shoot? Oh that’s right, you can’t because, if you thought it was real, then you’re probably strapped tightly into a chair in the middle of a large rubber room. Personally I think it’s more likely that most people WANTED it to be a shoot because at least it would prove that not everyone has a price for Vince McMahon. In order to perceive last night’s segment as unscripted you would have needed to ignore so many obviously worked elements like another pointless match between Kane and Edge making the main event, Hardy’s ‘shock’ attack as they walked through the backstage area and that Lita knew not to run away from Matt, the fact that Snitsky and Kane conveniently left the ring just before the second attack, the pulled punches, Matt keeping his language spicy but clean, none of the officials taking the microphone off him or killing its live feed from the truck and making sure he was clearly visible as he was lead away. Conversely, it was the WWE’s lack of traditional ‘worked-shoot’ tactics that also gave it away. No hyperbolised commentary, no fake camera cut-away or screen fuzz partially covering the action but leaving just enough to let us see what’s going on. The WWE know these ideas very well and it’s an admirable attempt at reverse psychology in an era where cliché has replaced subtlety at almost every turn. I’m not having a go at those who bought into it. Apart from a slightly questionable level of rationale I think it’s a positive omen for the future fanbase of pro-wrestling that so many are willing to go along for the ride. My only remaining question on this subject relates to what happens now rather than what happened on Raw. At the time of writing this column there has been no confirmation from wwe.com regarding Matt Hardy’s possible contractual status with WWE or through his website relating to any potential signing with TNA. I guess we’ll find out eventually. I’ll word one caution to Hardy though. If Matt is considering or has accepted a return to the WWE then he will be giving up a lot more than just his professional freedom and the support of his loyal (if a little delusional) fans. This anti-WWE, revenge gimmick will not last and at some point in the next year he will find himself once again propping up the mid-card and wrestling in PPV matches that fans feel “would have been better if it had been given more time”. I hope Matt is prepared to be ‘that guy’ again.
The show opened in good style with Carlito and Jericho trading insults over who is the best talk show host and who has the least convincing physique. Thankfully before they started on ‘who has the stupidest hair’, Roddy Piper made a nearly welcome return and trumped them both by announcing that he would ask the “why Shawn, why?” question at the end of the show, cementing his place as the ageing part-timer who would lie twitching at HBK’s feet as Raw went of the air this week. I’m in favour of Shawn Michaels’ heel turn but for me his hunger is in question. You could almost guarantee that a young, up and coming heel wouldn’t break character and play the fool during something as simple as walking down a corridor and pouring a drink. As an isolated incident the link is tenuous at best but he has lost focus before. During two separate promos with Edge in past months he seemed more concerned with a faulty microphone and some boisterous fans respectively and that leads me to doubt how seriously he is taking this. The one thing you can’t doubt about HBK is that when the time comes to perform in the ring he will strive harder than most to be the performer you remember when you file out of the arena and it is for this reason alone that I don’t share all of the misgivings that some are having about his Summerslam match with Hulk Hogan. The end interview segment contained just the right amount of awkwardness but I fail to see why they would turn Piper’s character into one that has morals purely for the purposes of this angle. Since when has the ‘Rowdy’ Scot worried about decency or honesty? Ah well, maybe all these years of wearing a skirt has brought out his sensitive side. It was good stuff and the fans were into it, that’s all that matters.
John Cena had another odd Raw and not just because the main spots on the show and the bulk of the subsequent attention fell at the feet of others on or off the roster. The dismissively unconcerned version of Cena we saw last week on the Highlight reel is far more preferable to the obsessed lecturer who finds no ease in the differences between himself and Jericho. I’m not ‘street’ in any sense of the word but I do know that you don’t wear it like a badge to impress others and Cena’s ‘gimmick’ would do well to not ram it down people’s throat. His title contest with Y2J at Summerslam is a refreshing change of personnel in a Raw PPV main event and anyone who doubts his desire to perform at the highest level has forgotten about his Judgement Day match with JBL. I hope he hasn’t forgotten either. Anyway, Cena didn’t get his fight, Y2J didn’t get his interview and Bischoff didn’t get screwed in the way he normally likes and had to make do with an FU from Cena. I look for better things with this feud over the next few weeks.
Match of the night honours went to Carlito and Shelton Benjamin (though we were hardly spoilt for choice). I’m still hoping that Carlito’s lazy ring style is an intentionally booked reflection of his laid back, ‘cool’ personality. Some of the exchanges were sharp but the match really slowed when Carlito took over the offensive duties and ground out some holds that would have been better with an element of possible submission about them. The unsatisfactory count-out finish suggests that another contest between the two is on the horizon but I doubt their slow-paced rivalry warrants another PPV encounter, regardless of match quality. Carlito is already starting to get tweener support due to his quick wit and entertaining vocals and Benjamin’s straight-edged lack of character depth will wear down the audience’s interest over time. The only way Benjamin can retain his no-frills gimmick and still be watchable is if he’s matched up against technical performers like HBK, HHH and Angle, not character-based wrestlers like Carlito.
Chris Masters (who appears to be two-thirds torso and one-third legs) wrestled a decent match against Tajiri, ruined only by the quick, predictable finish. If the WWE wants to perpetuate the idea that the ‘Masterlock’ is unbreakable then we should at least get a few teases before the hold ends the match. Still, no surprise to anyone that it was better than the Masterlock challenge crap. Seriously, the guy’s so misshapen his genitals are where his knees should be (and not in the good way ladies).
Adding Matt Stryker to the Kurt Angle Invitational gave the segment a much-needed twist and the crowd gave the indy wrestler and former teacher good support until Kurt clamped on the ankle-lock and Matt tapped faster than HHH on his wedding night. Despite the success of the spot this week, I don’t see that the Invitational is the best use of an out-of-feud Kurt Angle, especially in the run up to Summerslam.
The Diva Search stopwatch ended at the fourteen-minute mark, four minutes shorter than last week, so at least in terms of duration it’s heading in the right direction. Does this mean that the contestant who did the ‘low blow’ will get a “YOU SCREWED EARL” chant for the rest of their career? Doesn’t matter, that won’t be longer than a few seconds anyway.
Snitsky? Foot fetish? Bring back Lita and Edge kissing. At least then you got a semi while vomiting. When Kane kicked Snitsky in the face during the Edge/Kane match, JR said that it “scrambled Snitsky’s brain cells”. Surely that means his two cells just swapped places?
FYI: Carlito has the stupidest hair, in case you were wondering.
Lee
