Welcome back to another edition of The White & Blue! Unfortunately there’ll be no The Last Resort. Why? None of you schmucks wrote in. In the event that you do, next week I’ll have a special guest helping me move this gravy train along. Knowwhutimsayin’? So get to work on that. If you click on the link above, you’ll be taken to an email form that does most of the hard work for you. Plus, you get to be anonymous. So, give it a go mate.
Let’s move on…
For Airdate: 6/23/05
Death Waits For No One
Randy Orton came out and ran his big mouth about being a legend killer and making history and blah blah blahbity blah. The crowd chants Taker’s name. Orton says, “Go ahead say his name he’s not here tonight and he’s not coming!”
And of course, the dude shows up. Orton runs out of the ring and tells Undertaker that they are NOT going to fight right now. If they do fight, it’s going to be on his terms, not Undertaker’s. He says, “Undertaker, you’ll just have to wait!”
But while he’s on the ramp placed coincidentally in a strategic spot (right on cue) when Taker says, “Death waits for no one…” and then a bolt of pyrotechnic lightning, “struck” him, and he sold it like nobody’s business. The feud begins.
The Pounce!
Are you sure Monty Brown wasn’t in the building tonight? I’m only asking because during a match between Heidenrech and Joey Mercury, Michelle McCool jumped on Melina and was all over her like white on rice. Of course all this commotion distracts the ref, allowing Nitro to help Joey win over Heidenrech. It looks like Michelle will sort of be Heidi’s valet now.
Backstage while Nitro and Mercury celebrate, Melina stews about Michelle. “Does she think she’s better than me? She’s not even a B-list Diva!” Melina challenges Michelle to a match next week but even her crew seems to have some doubt about her ability to beat Michelle. Michelle accepts the match. It’s on!
“[after our match]They won’t be calling her Michelle McCool anymore. They’ll be calling her McLoser!”
Ooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! BURN!
Wow, can’t you tell I’m soooo excited about all of this. (tries to smile).
Please Tell Me This Is Over
Eddie vs. Rey. Rey Vs. Eddie. Eddie loses. AGAIN. They’re making Rey Mysterio look great, but Eddie is looking like garbage. Not like total garbage, but maybe just a little trash. Office trash. You know. Shredded paper, bent staples, the occasional Starbucks cup you know. Nothing too stinky. I love Eddie.
Equal Opportunity EmploymentThe SmackDown! Championship
I love JBL. He insists on being handed the new championship without a fight. But Booker T has other ideas. He wants a one on one for the title. Then Benoit comes out and suggests a Three way match. This provokes a look of, “Mufuh is you crazy?” From JBL. This guy is gold. Then Big Show comes out. He suggests either a fatal four way or a three way without JBL after they beat his ass down right now. That four way is starting to look real good to him when Teddy comes out. He actually makes it a five man challenge by adding The Undertaker. Then, oh so unceremoniously, Hussan’s music hits. He’s the new draft pick and now there will be a six-man elimination match next week. Geez Teddy, you’re letting anyone get in this. Can I get down?
Muhammad gives a long promo. This is funny ’cause a guy in the background held up a huge “shut up!” sign at just the right moment. I laughed. Later Muhammad gets put in a match with Big Show because of his big shoot-offy mouth. He wins because Matt Morgan interferes.
Notable Signs
I tried.
Fozzy—Don’t you wish you were getting paid for that advertisement WWE?
KFMA=Free Tickets—Don’t know what that means but where can I get free tickets?
Shut Up!—Held up at just the right moment, during just the right camera angle of a Hussan promo. Yes! Comedic Gold.
And that’s all we got here this week folks. Love it when you ride with me. Later.
