Yes, that’s right it’s what you’ve been waiting for (or not, probably not) another scintillating (probably not) edition of The White & Blue!
This week we’ve got my old pal Jish on my The Last Resort panel. That’s right, it’s time for A Second Opinion! If you want to be a TLR panelist and help me answer questions, or if you have a question of your own click on that link above and get clickety-clacking on your fancy keyboard to let me know.
is it normal to go see your favorite wrestler when he is at a signing and mark out for him? i saw a favorite wrestler at a autograph signing and I think i embarrassed myself. i feel bad. i marked out real bad and talked a lot and blushed and my mom said i was about to cry but i wasnt i just think she was being funny, have you ever done this and would you feel ashamed?
johncenasbabigirl
I’m going to give Jish’s answer first since he’s had some experience with this kind of thing.
Jish’s Diagnosis:
Hmmm, good question. Luckily, I recently met my favorite
wrestler, so I can speak from experience. The encounter
went a little something like this:
[JISH walks up to TRIPLE H, holding out his soon-to-be-
autographed book; H takes the book and gets ready to
autograph it]
TRIPS: Hey, what’s your name?
JISH: Josh.
TRIPS: Hey, how ya doin’ Josh?
JISH [Starstruck]: …
[TRIPLE H signs the book and he and Jish pose for the camera
{See Picture Below}; H gives the book back to JISH]
JISH [Obviously sucking up]: Thank you VERY much…[Leaves]
So, I think we can all agree that this probably wasn’t Jish’s finest hour.
I turned into a bumbling twit the moment I got within breathing
distance of the Tripster.
Now, as you can see in the picture below, I look like I was doped up
on crack (And no, I don’t always look like that, thank you for asking).
Meeting your favorite celebrities can do things like that to you. It’s normal.
I hereby pronounce you mentally healthy. Now stop bothering me.
Jeanice’s Diagnosis:
I can’t say that I’ve ever embarrassed myself before in front of my favorite wrestler because I’ve never met anyone whom I’ve ever remotely admired in my entire life. Mostly this is by choice. Why? Because I don’t want to get in front of this great person and act like a jackass or a spazz , which I know, is entirely possible, (and for most people, entirely normal). I’ll probably be too shy to say anything, not able to even look them in the face (Yes, Jeanice is somewhat demure. Stop snickering), and like Jish, I’ll just seem like I’m doped up on something. Or worse than that, developmentally challenged. If I were meeting a person whom I really looked up to, I’d feel stupid because for that one brief moment when he’d actually be thinking about only me, he’d be thinking: “You’re a moron.” Of course afterwards he’d forget who I was because I’m just face 3,245 out of who knows how many people he’s met. The complete opposite reaction would to be what you said you did, which is to mark out like an idiot or a freakin’ groupie. You’re either a 12 year old girl or a 38 year old accountant with emotional problems and an extensive troll doll collection but that doesn’t matter, at least you had the balls to meet someone you admired whether you looked crazy or not. I don’t I’m a punk.
So if I were you would I feel ashamed?
Yes. Very.
For Airdate: 6/16/05
He’s Baaaaack!
The show opened up with The Cabinet in the ring with JBL who talked about how he had to wash the “stench of ECW” off of his wrestling god-like body. Did he talk about how he shot on someone like the A-Hole he really is? No? Oh. Okay then.
So blah blah blah right, Benoit’s music hits.
Cole: Thank goodness.
Tazz: Yeah, no kidding.
Nobody was in the mood for his boring promo anyway. I love JBL but sometimes he just says crap that makes me want to sleep (or fast forward).
It’s Benoit VS. Doug Basham. Benoit wins. The Cabinet jumps him. But then…
DONG!
Taker is back and as soon as he hits the ring, JBL runs from it. JBL yells at him from the ramp, “What are you doing here? This is my show!”
Teddy then comes out to tell him that he’ll be facing Taker in the main event, no DQ.
Wow, this wasn’t as exciting as it should’ve been. Moving on…
They Quit!
Backstage JBL and OJ argue about who needs the Bashams more at ringside tonight during their matches. OJ argues that he’s the only champion in The Cabinet at this time and he wants to keep his title. JBL pulls rank and says he’s “the boss”. It doesn’t matter, The Bashams are tired of this Bull***t. They’re not coming out for anyone, they quit! Are The Cabinet’s days numbered?
The Saga Continues…
Eddie beats Paul London in a match via submission, but soon after Rey Mysterio unexpectedly comes out and attacks him with a chair. They get broken up by staff but are seen fighting backstage. Eddie seems to be running from Mysterio. Looks like this so-called exciting feud is not over yet.
It Could Happen To You!
On the Cabana, Carlito reminds his guests, Booker T and Sharmelle that since Sharmelle is a SD Diva (when was this specified during any storyline?) that she could also get drafted to RAW where she’d have no protection from Kurt. Booker T and Sharmelle beat him up and throw apples at him for telling the truth. Matt Morgan wasn’t there to protect him because he was told by Carlito to stay in the back in preparation for his match with Big Show. Big Mistake. Anyway Big Show won by DQ when Carlito attacks him with a chair.
Legend Killer or SmackDown! Filler?
You know this by now. Randy Orton is the latest victim of the draft. Instead of coming at the beginning of the show, he shows up out of nowhere during JBL and Undertaker’s match, giving Taker the RKO like the little show stopper that he is. This helped JBL win his match.
Orton says that Taker had better be getting used to getting RKO’d because he’s on SmackDown! now. And that’s like, a big important thing.
I just hope he doesn’t crap in anyone’s luggage.
Everything Else
OJ Vs. Hardcore Holly
Jordan retains his title by using the ropes to pin.
Heidenrech’s New Posse
Apparently all you have to have is a big piece of chocolate for the ladies to come around. Heidenrech comes out with a huge Hershey’s chocolate bar, for they are in Hershey PA, and the divas come out. Miss Jackie coos over Heidi’s chocolate bar and takes a bite out of it. Joy (chicken voice) gives him a big “kiss” a big Hershey’s chocolate kiss that is. Then, things get even uglier (literally) when MNM come out. One thing I can admit about Melina, she sure has mic skills compared to Joy or Michelle McCool, who sounds like she’s auditioning for an after school special. “What. Do. You. Mean. You. Want. Me. to smoke this pot?” (Awkward pause) “That is bad.”
Melina talks some crap about Heidenrech and then Michelle spears her. Heidenrech tries to keep MNM at bay and pull the girls apart but Nitro and Mercury get the best of him and do the Snapshot. What was awesome about this segment is, I never thought I’d be saying this, Heidenrech.
Heidenrech after Melina insults the Divas: You don’t talk to my friends like that!
Melina: What are you going to do? Read me another lame poem? Try to be my friend?
Heidenrech sotto voce while she’s still talking: Maybe.
Melina: I’ll NEVER be your friend!
Heidenrech makes sad poopy face where he pokes his bottom lip out and pouts like a kid.
Man this guy’s a retard. But he sure is funny.
Notable Signs
If any of you are going to any SD tapings anytime soon and you plan on bringing signs, please don’t hesitate to send pictures of them to me. I’ll put them in the column and you can become a Notable Sign Superstar!.
I’m afraid I didn’t find much in Hershey, PA, but this is what I’ve got:
Shut Your Teeth (Three part sign held up by three guys)—What?
Eat At Docs—Wow, this guy gets free advertising but WT couldn’t get a Jeanice Fears Brizzy sign in the ring.
Chia Head “It’s Cool” Carlito—Ch-Ch-Ch-Chia! That’s all I got. I’ve got nothin’.
And that was yet another edition of The White & Blue. We laughed, we cried, but we mostly just sat there in a stupor for two hours straight. See you next time!
