Full Credit: LiveAudioWrestling.com
RAW REPORT FOR 5/30
A huge dose of Charisma, Canada and Christian!
by Ray Pefferman
Live from Calgary, Alberta
The show opens with a Memorial Day Tribute read by Vince McMahon. Taps is then played.
CHRISTY HEMME DEF. VICTORIA, CANDACE MICHELLE AND MARIA IN A BIKINI CONTEST.
Jerry Lawler announces that Lilian Garcia is competing in her first bikini contest. Garcia is about to drop her towel when Viscera comes to the ring. “What big Vis wants, big Vis gets,” he says. He picks Garcia up and carries her backstage. Lawler declares Hemme the winner. After the other women congratulate Hemme, Victoria attacks all of them. She then low-blows Lawler and hits Christy with the widow’s peak. It’s good to see an actual storyline taking shape in the women’s division.
Victoria says she is sick of hearing so much about Hemme. Victoria says she should have wrestled at WrestleMania instead.
THE HURRICANE AND ROSEY DEF. THE HEART THROBS TO RETAIN THE WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES.
The Hurricane jumps off Rosey’s shoulders and hits a splash to get the pin.
World Hvt. Champion Batista tells General Manager Eric Bischoff that he accepts HHH’s challenge for a Hell in the cell match. Muhammad Hassan and Daivari come in, and Hassan says he deserves a title match more than HHH. Batista says he will take out his frustrations out on Hassan tonight. Bischoff agrees to Batista vs. Hassan tonight.
SHELTON BENJAMIN DEF. SYLVAIN GRENIER AND ROBERT CONWAY IN A TRIPLE-THREAT MATCH TO RETAIN THE INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE.
Grenier waves his Quebec flag, and Conway jumps in front of him. Jim Ross wishes a happy birthday to Jake Roberts. La Resistance teams up on Benjamin, so the crowd chants, “Y2J!” Conway and Grenier hit the Hart Foundation’s version of the Hart attack, but Conway breaks up Grenier’s cover. Conway and Grenier begin to go punch-for-punch. Benjamin hits the T-bone suplex on Grenier to get the win.
HIGHLIGHT REEL: KANE AND LITA.
Chris Jericho apologizes to any children who didn’t get to meet him at his last appearance. He says he will interview the first person drawn in the draft lottery to come from Raw to Smackdown. Jericho asks if Lita‘s cheating is due to Kane’s “equipment malfunctioning.” Jericho tells Kane to rent “The Divine Secrets of the Yaya Sisterhood,” go home and cry.
Edge appears on the Titantron and says that he has been “spearing” Lita behind Kane’s back for several months. Lita needed a real man, Edge says. He says he won’t put his girlfriend in harm’s way, so she will speak via the screen.
Lita says she has filed for divorce. “You’re like a fourth grader in the bedroom,” she says. Lita throws her wedding ring down the toilet and makes out with Edge.
EDGE DEF. CHRIS BENOIT IN A TABLE MATCH.
Bischoff says he will work with Kurt Angle’s Smackdown volunteers to kill ECW at One Night Stand. The GM says he has signed a table match tonight to show that Raw can outdo ECW. “ECW was a joke from the beginning,” Bischoff says, “and it’s an even bigger joke now.”
Benoit does a suicide dive onto Edge on the outside, and the crowd yells, “Holy sh–!” Benoit attempts a sharpshooter and shoots the Calgary fans out of their seats, but Edge quickly breaks the leglock. Bischoff claims that Paul Heyman stole everything ECW ever did from WCW. Benoit attempts to German-suplex Edge from the apron onto the table outside the ring, but Edge counters.
Benoit superplexes Edge, but Lita moves the table. A sign in the crowd reads, “Bret Hart wannabees.” Benoit places Edge on a table and climbs to the top rope, but Lita knocks Benoit down. Bischoff calls out his Raw army: Gene Snitsky, Tyson Tomko and Maven. They collectively powerbomb Benoit through the table. “I hope Paul Heyman is watching, because this is only a sample of what my crusade will be like on June 12,” Bischoff says.
Table matches are seldom good, but this was probably the best one I’ve ever seen. If this is Bischoff’s idea of a “crusade,” he might as well just let ECW take over “Raw.”
HHH INTERVIEW
HHH joins “Raw” via satellite. Some in the crowd chant, “Boring.”
“This is my theater, Dave,” HHH says. “I just let you play a role.” HHH says he “beat” Batista last week. “When you beat an animal, it either becomes more violent, or it becomes submissive. You were scared; it was something you had never experienced before. The final step is Hell in a cell. It is a match that can either make you or break you, and I have made a career of ending them in the cell. Ask Kevin Nash; ask Mick Foley. They’re gonna tell you to fear the cell. Don’t fear the cell, Dave, fear me.”
This was one of the best HHH promos I have seen in a while.
A commercial airs for Bill Goldberg’s “Auto-maniac.”
CHRIS MASTERS DEF. VAL VENIS IN THE MASTERLOCK CHALLENGE.
Masters ups the ante to $10,000 American. “Let’s face it,” he says. “Canadian money isn’t worth anything these days.” He opens up the challenge to anyone in the locker room, and a bald Val Venis answers the challenge. “My roomate in college has every single one of your movies. That’s why it’s gonna be my honor to make you pass out to the Masterlock.”
“The ladies know that the Big Valbowski always gives stiff competition,” Venis says. “The question is, Chris Masters, are you UP to the challenge.” Masters attacks Venis from behind and applies the Masterlock. Venis knocks Masters to the ground and is close to breaking the hold, but Venis eventually passes out.
CHRISTIAN PROMO.
Christian comes out to a standing ovation. “Take note, America,” he says. “This is the response you give to a superstar like me.” He says the Smackdown roster is missing something. “They’ve got Americans, Mexicans, Japanese, a giant, a stutterer,a deadman, and a hip-hop champion who couldn’t even make me say ‘I quit’ if I listened to his CD. But what they don’t have is a Canadian.” He says Smackdown would get “an injection of the three Cs”: Christian, Canada and charisma.
Christian creates more excitement with a microphone in his hand than anyone since Steve Austin, The Rock and Mick Foley. He is that good, and hopefully he will get the push he deserves.
Next week, Batista and HHH will sign the contract for their Hell in the cell match at Vengeance.
MUHAMMAD HASSAN DEF. WORLD HVT. CHAMPION BATISTA BY DQ IN A NON-TITLE MATCH WHEN BATISTA REFUSED TO BREAK A CHOKE IN THE CORNER.
Batista comes out to a new rock song and lots of pyro. Hassan DDTs Batista, further injuring his head, and then kicks him in the head. Batista hits a spinebuster. Daivari climbs to the top rope, but Batista knocks him off. Batista hits Daivari with the World Hvt. Title and busts him open. Batista chokes Hassan in the corner but doesn’t break the count on five, so he is disqualified. The Champion drags Hassan outside the ring and smashes his face into the concrete. Batista then smashes Hassan in the head with a chair. Daivari receives a powerbomb next, and Daivari receives a Batista-bomb.
