One of the dangers with keeping one eye on the future is that you only have one eye on the present. All four of the matches from last night’s show were of good quality, despite six of the eleven active wrestlers hailing from the weakened tag team division, but the overall emphasis of the two hours seemed to point to that which is yet to come rather than what is happening now. Highlighted by the fact that only one of the matches (maybe two if you tenuously include Edge/Benoit) were between opponents that are currently feuding. Having said that, a lot of the prospective angles and ideas that were founded on Raw look like being positive ones to me and it bodes well for the immediate future of the WWE that steps have been taken to freshen the product, even before the draft starts next week.
Seeing as it contained a big positive, I’ll start with the divas this week. Just when it looked like the towel-clad hotties (34 and I just said ‘hotties’!) were about to give us an informative lecture on the dangers of over-tanning and skin cancer, Vis waddled down to ringside and stole the only contestant who was trying to retain some sense of dignity. With Lillian safely tucked into one of Viscera’s numerous stomach folds and out of the contest, it was up to the rest of the divas to drop the towels while the crowd busied themselves chanting for Stacey to come out. Whilst it is immaterial who won, the good news is that ‘crazy’ Victoria made a welcome return to our screens going absolutely mental and kicking the botox out of the other women. To their credit, Candice and Maria especially did a fair job of remembering what to do when being pummelled but the obvious target for Victoria’s bile was Christy and that looks like what will be furthered from this segment. I still maintain that Christy would benefit herself and us a lot more if she were turned heel as she seems to have a natural aptitude for angry looks and irritating mannerisms but this feud should work while the main women are recovering from injury. It is good to have Victoria back, but I damn sure wouldn’t want to date the psycho. Her backstage diatribe mirrors a lot of the opinions voiced by the vast majority of fans around the time of Wrestlemania 21 but at least it gives her a chance to base the emotions of the feud on real events, something of which Vince is very fond.
It was a nice touch having Batista call for his match against Hassan in an aggressive manner as I felt his character was becoming a bit too laid back, seemingly contented to defend the title when he has to and the rest of the time just hang out with the divas or annoy Bischoff for the fun of it. Before the match took place, we were treated (if that’s the right word) to one of HHH’s weaker promos in which he spoke lots but said little. To the best of my knowledge, this was the first time that Mohammed Hassan had fought a ‘monster’ type wrestler so it was a different assignment for him. He had enough of the lighter style to bounce for Batista but also managed to dominate in places without it looking unconvincing. Batista continued an upturn in his wrestling performances and is coming across as quite a capable ‘big man’ now, though he’ll still need to be given the right opponents to produce good matches. Daivari seems to revel in his role as the wind-up toy to Hassan’s quiet reservation and they work incredibly well as a team. It’s nice to see that the quality of their vocal and in-ring work has dampened a lot of the reluctance to accept the gimmick. I liked the way the match was booked. Hassan comes away with his record intact and Batista hyperbolises the ‘monster’ point in readiness for his upcoming hell in a cell match with HHH. I also think that the bloody beat-down wont hurt Hassan in the long run. The fact that he didn’t back away from Batista at any time (something even HHH was doing during their feud) gives his character a more gutsy edge and to hang, albeit only temporarily, with one of the top tier wrestlers will enhance his standing amongst the group currently fighting around the IC title.
On the ‘Highlight reel’, Chris Jericho (dressed as Tom Cruise from ‘Risky Business’) sporadically teased more of his heel turn by goading a despondent Kane and insulting his manhood. Then, from the safety of the big screen, Edge and Lita pushed Kane closer back into the mask by mocking, ridiculing and generally saying lots of derogatory things about Matt … I mean Kane. They then flushed Lita’s symbolic wedding ring down the toilet (I wonder if it hit Edge’s conscience on the way down?). Once Bischoff (who acts and sounds more like a pantomime dame every week) had demonstrated that the best way to ignore ECW is to keep mentioning their name … over and over again … show after show, we were (literally) treated to a fine ‘tables’ match between Edge and Chris Benoit. With enough ‘non-table’ action going on, the match didn’t suffer from the gimmick and the spots close to furniture destruction were well done and kept the crowd hot. Great match. In retrospect, the unsatisfactory outcome should have been expected as both men are not ‘un-pushed’ or under-used right now and, as the match was part of the build up to Raw’s involvement in the ECW PPV, the storyline had to take precedence over the result. I wonder if Lita will continue to support Bischoff’s crusade and they’ll conveniently forget about ‘Miss Congeniality’?
Disregarding the fact that another tag team match took place with no angle or storyline, the bout between Rosey/Hurricane and the Heart Throbs was pretty good. Even with the ridiculous gesticulations, Romeo and Antonio (I had to look their names up) are a watchable combination and could be a boon to the division if they were given stuff to do that meant something. Rosey and Hurricane, accompanied by ‘Wonder-bra’ (I’m officially out of silly names for Stacey’s superhero gimmick now), are quietly over as champions but there’s not a lot more they can offer us as their run with the belts has come way too late. Saying that, even mat orientated teams from years ago like the Bulldogs and the Hart Foundation were given airtime to build a feud so it’s not the fault of the modern teams if their matches are seen as less than. It’s a shame that I’ve had to award this match the ‘worst’ moniker as it was a decent contest, but it fell some way short of the two main matches and was just bettered by Shelton Benjamin’s triple-threat outing with La Resistance. Commending Benjamin for this match is too simple because he’s easily capable of it and so much more. Just like in any school or workplace, the talented ones should be given more to do otherwise they become rutted in their own ability. For me, Rob Conway was the standout performer of the match showing a level of intensity that had previously been smothered by his shallow gimmick and tag action duties. An end to La Resistance benefits everyone. Let’s hope the draft works in all our favours.
Although Chris Masters was back to the ‘Masterlock challenge’ this week, at least it was up against a fellow superstar and not a thinly disguised local indy wrestler. Val Venis stepped up, made some cheap penis jokes (that’s my job!) and then took a bit of a kicking before being clamped into the Masterlock and passed out while his head turned redder than his bell-end.
Christian came out to the ramp and used the Canadian ‘peepulation’ to show what he could do if Vince ever feels like giving him a singles face push somewhere down the road. As with Benjamin’s wrestling ability, to extol the virtues of Christian’s vocal talents is to restate what many writers and fans have said and known for quite some time. He is good though (see what I did?).
RAW AWARDS
Match of the night – Benoit v Edge.
Worst match – Rosey/Hurricane v Heart Throbs.
Star(s) of the show – Victoria/Hassan/Batista.
Moment of the show – Batista/Hassan/Daivari bloody beat-down.
Best sign – “ANYONE BUT MASTERS”.
Best quote – “Cena couldn’t make me say ‘I quit’ even if he forced me to listen to his crappy CD” (Christian).
Lee
