As the Ring Turns : Wrestling as a Soap
All My Children is one of the longest running soap operas of all time. In line with General Hospital and One Life to Live, the WWE is not far behind daytime’s leading soap opera. Much like the old prime time soaps, Dallas and Falcon’s Crest, the WWE is making a name for itself. With the John Cena/JBL feud it could replace “Who shot J.R.” in the American lexicon if the right moves are made.
Wrestling sells itself as a sport but it is nothing more than a soap opera parading around with oiled up muscle men in tights. The WWE really has bought its own product when it markets itself as athletic competition. That is why Raw and Smackdown are shown in 2 hour blocks, to mimic sporting events. But it’s a sham. Name one athletic competition that has marketed a Step Daughter versus Step Mother Match. You can’t, but the annals of history displays 2,275 soap operas that have had similar story lines.
The NBA came close to the soap opera world with the Shaq versus Kobe fiasco this past December 25th but it is nothing compared to the world of WWE. Frog Splash versus Frog Splash, husbands left lonely after their wives leave them for a greasier, muscular man, one wrestler lusting for the fiery loins of another’s wife. This infinite list is just that. Mets versus Yankees, Lakers versus Celtics, hell, Mike Tyson versus anyone does not carry any of the juice that wrestling does.
In the case that the storylines of wrestling do not persuade you to believe that it is a soap opera maybe the poor acting skills that the wrestlers bring to the table will. Without a doubt you have been forced to watch some, most or all of a soap opera. The first thing that jumps off of the screen are the forced tears, over worked lines and split second too late gasps. In the world of the WWE acting gaffs are just as common. With the exception of HBK, Austin and a select few, most wrestlers have about as much emotional range as a pet rock. Eddie Guerrero looks as is he is having a tough time digesting his latest meal when he “acts” angry. In the real sports world there is no question about whether an athlete is angry or not, just ask Ron Artest and the fan that ate his fists.
Because wrestling is definitely more of a soap opera than an athletic event, there are a few changes that are necessary if the WWE wants to capitalize and gain the attention that escapes its grasp. Heat and Velocity go largely unwatched. The Bottom Line and Afterburn are non existent in the homes of most wrestling fans. So get rid of these shows. While the WWE is on the hook for programming for these slots, they time can be put to better use.
How many times have you left parts of Raw and Smackdown unwatched as you went to the restroom and or kitchen? With an athletic event you can’t get up during the action because you might miss the turning point of the game. In wrestling, it is easy to get up for a break because who gives a damn if you miss a Scotty 2 Hotty or Chris Masters segment. Were you aware that Raw and Smackdown’s two hour presentation includes close to fifty minutes of advertisement time? Between pointless matches and commercials galore, who can blame a fan for finding time to change the channel or make their way to the restroom?
Solution: Just like soap operas, wrestling should be a daily show that is shown for one hour. Use the four hours set aside for the big shows and the time owed for Heat, Velocity, etc.
In an athletic competition a critical play can happen at anytime. Not true in wrestling. The winner of the Victoria and Christy Hemme match has little to no bearing on the outcome of the show. Since this is the case why watch it? In a soap opera, the scenes change so frequently that the “main eventers” can pop up on the screen at anytime and advance their storylines. This method helps achieve two goals, it keeps the viewer glued to the TV fear of missing a pivotal plot point and it helps to get the lesser storylines (non main eventers) “over” with fans that may otherwise have not been interested. In the WWE large problem is that with the mid card guys, there is a genuine lack of interest because of the fact that there is frequently no reason to be interested. Benjamin has had the IC title for a long time and one measly storyline. Who is the U.S. Champion? It is difficult to remember who the champion is when there is no reason to watch his matches.
In the wrestling world, with the exception of HHH, no wrestler really stands out. While John Cena is on his way to that distinction, a fundamental change in the WWE’s approach to programming their shows could help. In the soap opera world, the main eventers are the sun and the other actors are the planets that revolve around them. Any honest viewer of WWE television would tell you that the show works better when there is a major story at the center of the show. (For you wrestling purists, do not kid yourselves. If you were really into the matches only you would not be watching WWE programming.)
JBL has been the ultimate heel for some time now. His actions early in his run as WWE champion helped hook an unsuspecting viewer that hates wrestling. She wrote to me and said, “His actions with the potential illegal immigrants were so deplorable that I immediately wrote an electronic and traditional letter to the WWE.” She went on to say “In order to better support my claims against JLB or JBL or whatever, I watched again the following week to see how he was going to offend me next.” CA-CHING! Why make this viewer wait a week to get pissed off when the next night would likely hook ker permanently? With preemptions and life’s distractions the WWE lost a golden chance to get the viewer hooked. If the WWE programmed daily, the casual fan would have the real opportunity to catch the show again instead of waiting for a week or more.
Since the Rock and Steve Austin have left active ring duty, the casual fan has had no reason to peek in on WWE programming. By increasing their visibility from 3 days a week to 5 days a week the WWE could get the exposure and following that they are looking for. While the WWE programs are more soap opera than sport, to help themselves get that sport feeling back they need to follow the soap opera model. The vast majority of big time sports have daily exposure to their fans. Whether it is sports talk radio, ESPN coverage or daily newspaper columns, the major league sports are out there. Wrestling has consistently been rejected by the main stream world because of it’s “Saturday morning” feel. Men in tights with masks and bad roles. If the WWE intends to get mainstream attention, it will take more than a Billy and Chuck wedding and sex with a corpse.
By putting themselves out there daily the WWE would create its own buzz. Channel surfers, bored kids and wrestling addicts alike would all benefit. The elimination of the “main event” watcher and the inclusion of the “addictive” watcher would give the WWE the boost they are looking for and the product the fans crave.
