Suckers
Much like a hung-over sailor that wakes to find his underwear up a flagpole, you probably feel like a sucker. This time last week many proclaimed the return of Raw to its glory days because of its high rating. Well, it only took one week to erase the euphoria that many felt at HHH’s absence, which many attributed to the high rating.
To be a sucker you must buy into something that makes little to no sense but seems appealing. It’s like the time that the hottest girl you knew checked you out and talked to you. Even though you knew it was too good to be true you went against your better judgment and let her milk you for a while. Bad decision? HELL NO! It’s good to be the king, even for just five minutes. Many internet wrestling fans proclaimed themselves king when they gleefully filled my email inbox with pleas to end the boycott of Raw. “HHH has left” they wrote, “You can start watching Raw again.” But you see, I am no sucker.
Raw was unwatched, much to my wife’s relief, for the second straight week in my home. While flipping channels, it took great effort to avoid Spike TV but it was done.
On Tuesday morning, while reading the Raw Report on wrestlingexposed.com, a crown suddenly appeared upon my head as I took the role of king. The ability to say I told you so is a good feeling. More than fifty emails left my Yahoo box last week proclaiming that the day so many have begged for would not last. “He’ll be back” was the subject line. Damn it’s good to not be the sucker.
But lo and behold, the sucker is me.
The same thing that hooked us onto wrestling as young ones is still present but we don’t see it. Maybe Ric Flair was onto something when he vehemently disagreed with the dissemination of information from the locker room to the internet. THQ noticed this as well. When Day of Reckoning was released last year, the type of wrestler was changed from the previously labeled Heel and Face to Dirty and Clean. Before we knew these terms wrestling was truly believable. Much like a wise fool, we all felt that this “insider’s information” made us somehow special and unique. What it has done is tricked us into believing that we know that wrestling is scripted; only to find that it kind of isn’t.
Mr.McMahon and his staff of writers have used our secret weapon against us. The information that we get is being turned and twisted for the wrestling empire to achieve its goal, make us watch their programs. And is it working. Our “hate” for Edge is bringing us in droves to the TV sets. The incessant chanting only proves that the Internet is not our friend but the WWE’s personal playground.
For a few moments I actually thought that the WWE gives a damn about what I think. Vince knows best. He has proven it time and time again. Many of us felt that the elevation of Bradshaw to main eventer was foolish. Jordon Wright will tell you that the fans were wrong. If we could be wrong about JBL could we not be wrong about HHH, too?
You see Vince has played us all for fools. While we like to think that we run the Internet Wrestling Community, we are sadly mistaken. Every single chance he gets, Vince keeps the magic of wrestling alive by taking our precious tool and using it against us. This past Monday night, the men who run WWE did something that many thought impossible, made HHH even more hated than he was before. And if his unexpected (-HA-) return didn’t boil your blood, maybe Edge making out with Lita did.
My name is Jonathan Brown and I am a sucker.
Eviluther99@yahoo.com
Random Thoughts
I would love to get into TNA but without a reasonable hour for their show it is next to impossible. WWE programming comes on too late Mondays and TNA is way too early, 2 p.m.
Viscera seems to be on his way up.
The matches for Judgment Day were well planned. Smackdown presented itself as the premier show by having feuds with actual stories to back them up. Even if a fight was over an apple, it is still a story.
With Smackdown being preempted in several markets because of Major League Baseball, this show is in serious trouble if it expects to keep a fan base that could easily just read spoilers instead of waiting for the weekend for it to be shown.
Does anyone else wish Matt Hardy would shut up now and get on with his life? This incident made him way more popular than any spots he performed in the WWE.
ECW? No thanks. All of these chants are funny. Have you ever seen an ECW show? Time forgives everything, including the crap that ECW tried to pass off as wrestling. If all of these chanting fans had actually supported ECW it would not have gone out of business.
My sister made me bust my spleen when she said, “Yeah I was listening to the radio and heard this John Cena guy in an interview. I didn’t know that the WWE champion was Black.” I replied, “He’s not” After 20 minutes of my insane laughter she says, calmly, “No seriously why have I not seen this guy on SD before?” To make a long story short, she watched SD just to prove me wrong. Sorry, he is not Black. Shhh, don’t tell John.
And finally…
I am a cheap bastard so I waited until Day of Reckoning got its price down to $20 before I bought it. The guys that wrote the stories for that game should write stories or WWE TV. They kick ass.
If you are interested in creating your very own Mr. Brown character on DOR, email me and I’ll send you my character specs.
Eviluther99@yahoo.com
