When I was young my Mum said to me “Lee…” (for that’s my name) “…always try to do something different from everyone else”. To be honest, she never said that. What she actually said was “If you don’t stop playing with it, it will fall off” but that doesn’t really apply to this column so I changed it slightly. But you get the idea. I’ve recently been reading with interest a lot of columns and blogs regarding the upcoming WWE draft lottery and I’ve been fascinated by the choices of who should be traded to which show and why, so I thought I’d throw my hat into the ring (so to speak) albeit in a different way. I’m going to suggest my top five picks on each show for who should stay exactly where they are and NOT be drafted to the opposing brand when the lottery happens. In true ‘bizarro world’ fashion, I’ll start with Smackdown first.
EDDIE GUERRERO
For a lot of people, this seems to be an either/or choice of who should be traded between Guerrero and Kurt Angle. I concur that in many ways it is out of balance to keep two such talented men on the same show at the expense of the other, so I choose to keep Guerrero on Smackdown. Apart from Eddie’s obvious connection with the possible lucha explosion that’s about to happen on Smackdown, I have concerns that the increased pressures of live television, coupled with the higher level of popular exposure, could bring about the same doubts and paranoia that plagued his run with the WWE title last year. Guerrero doesn’t need Raw. He’s not climbing the corporate ladder or taking a last bow before retiring, he’s found a groove that seems to suit him perfectly and, seeing as his heel turn is being done right this time, he will get some main event feuds after the draft lottery dust has settled.
BIG SHOW
Big Show is walking proof that the old expression ‘a change is as good as a rest’ is a pile of crap. He was a dribbling, sweaty, overpaid mess on Raw and has kept up the good work on Smackdown. Problem is, I happen to like the guy (as you can tell). If I didn’t rate him as a personality, I would be screaming for someone with his lack of conditioning and restricted in-ring ability to be sent anywhere, as long as I didn’t have to watch him. The real reason why Big Show has to stay on Smackdown is because he has had so many character tweaks and heel/face turns over the years that he’s not relevant anymore. His edge has been blunted by so many betrayals and renaissances that his persona is only applicable to the less judgmental audience on Smackdown. My advice to Big Show is stay as you are, mix playing it for laughs with taking it seriously and be thankful that Vince gave you such a long contract to lure you away from WCW in the first place.
BOB HOLLY
If Holly was a rookie coming up from OVW you’d have a hard time placing him on either show. His character relies on his wrestling skills but he’s never had a five-star match on television or on PPV. His gimmick relies on being ‘hard as nails’ but he routinely loses on Velocity to up-and-comers. And yet he’s an accomplished wrestler who’s light on his feet, uses a strong style and has a good look in the mould of a proper athlete. I think it’s fairly safe to say that if there was any competitive rival promotion to the WWE then Bob Holly would have moved there long ago to escape the indifference of the Stamford creative team. The bottom line is that Holly is treading water, and has been for some time, and a move to the shark-infested oceans of Raw (or Heat) would diminish his standing to the point of a burial at sea. On Smackdown, Bob is a useful training tool for new wrestlers and an integral part of the Tough Enough process and that’s where he belongs.
UNDERTAKER
As an inversion of the Guerrero/Angle situation, this seems to be a question of on which show you want the ‘brothers’ to reunite. Undertaker and Kane on Raw would be pointless unless you were going to let them win belts and dominate almost everyone else on the roster and that is not a good direction for the main television product. Given Undertaker’s creative control and desire to work a reduced schedule, I worry that Raw would become home to his recent feuding style where his opponents do the groundwork of fear in his absence and he returns at the PPV’s to add the three-count. Whilst it is a dangerous process to lumber Smackdown with all the part-time talent, Raw is not the place for Undertaker to be doing his ‘show within a show’. He’s the healthiest he’s looked in years, so over with the fans it’s unreal and he must be happy with his current character and storylines because they’re his own doing. Why change anything?
ANY OF THE SMACKDOWN DIVAS
Decide for yourself whether it is because they’ve done nothing to deserve it or ‘been given’ nothing to do to deserve it, but not one of the Smackdown divas has shown any standout talents that could benefit Raw. Ignoring the Diva Search losers (literally) who haven’t done enough to justify a place on either show as yet, both Dawn Marie and especially Torrie Wilson have failed to demonstrate any of the fire that seems to drive a legitimate wrestler like Trish Stratus or a part-timer like Christy Hemme. It seems odd that the show with the larger balance of non-wrestling females barely uses their vacuous abilities, thus making them almost completely redundant. Either give them valet/interview/swimsuit/general-screaming duties or cut them loose and spend the money on a new wrestler. Or a new ring banner. Or a big party. Just keep Melina Perez and release the rest back into the wild.
And so on to the red side of the divide…
HHH
In a recent assessment of what should be the future plans for HHH, I thought that he should be dropped down a level on Raw and help the mid-card players find a way to the main event circle. I said this not because I hate HHH or I’m ‘sick of him winning all the time’ but because I felt it was the best way for the mid-carders to benefit from his experience and try to emulate his energy and passion. If Hunter moved to Smackdown you can rest assured that he would stay in the main event scene and almost certainly be WWE champion within six months of joining the Thursday night roster. In drafting HHH, Vince would be losing his highest ranked win/loss elevator and that’s not necessary on Smackdown as all the recent breakthrough performers (Cena, Carlito, JBL) have risen because of their gimmicks and good promo skills. As long as they find other things for HHH to do than winning and losing the World Heavyweight title, he’ll stay the pivotal force that keeps Raw balanced.
CHRISTIAN
If fans are to be believed, Christian is a certainty to be drafted to Smackdown, but I hope not. Whilst it is true that Smackdown needs a good draft lottery to swing the roster advantage back in its favour, I just don’t see how it benefits Captain Charisma. People seem to be using a potential feud with WWE champ John Cena as an incentive but there’s no point in taking the title or the franchise away from him right now so the challenge would be fruitless and throw Christian back into the Smackdown mid-card, not a good place to be. Christian is young, talented and probably the number one prospect on Raw and to shoulder him with such a short-term solution to a problem that doesn’t even exist is poor handling from a company that supposedly specialises in creating new superstars. Leave Christian on Raw, slowly build up his standing and then turn him face at the end of the year in the run up to the 2006 Rumble.
MOHAMMED HASSAN
I know that I recently stated that it would be a kick to have Mohammed Hassan holding the US title but drafting him to Smackdown is not what I meant. More than any of the other WWE rookies Hassan has shown a liking for the live microphone and the writers have given his character’s remarks an emotive founding rather than the spurious ranting classically associated with this type of gimmick. His wrestling is making slow progress but is heading in the right direction and Daivari is adding that extra dimension that keeps the character fresh. I’m hoping that a split doesn’t happen between these two, in terms of allies or separate shows, and I see a solid run with both the tag belts as a team and a singles title for Hassan with Daivari as his manager in the not too distant future. The WWE risked a lot investing in the anti-American gimmick this time, it would be a shame to think that it was all for nothing.
CHRISTY HEMME
Even though Christy is currently out of the spotlight, while Trish recovers from injury and Lita changes from a tramp to a whore, she has made good progress in all aspects of her character and it would be a shame to lose her to Smackdown where she would be the ‘tee-shirt girl’ elect for as long as she stays in the WWE. I can take or leave the ‘bouncing’ to the ring, depending on what sort of mood I’m in, but it is fair to say that in her short career she’s been willing to take some risks and has injected a lot of energy into her efforts. If Vince can once again find the diamond in the 2005 Raw Diva Search then great, just don’t hire the dozen lumps of coal as well.
EDGE
Just as Christian is the keeper of his own destiny, he is also Edge’s salvation. Even though the world and his wife (probably because he’s nailed her) is not looking favourably upon Edge at the moment, the fickleness of wrestling audiences will prevail over time and the only thing that holds him back will be his 90’s wrestling style and his 80’s soft-metal haircut. Not exclusively in the tag ranks but in some way, Edge and Christian will be a face duo again someday. Not because they geminated in the wrestling industry but because Vince will seize the chance to dredge up some ‘five-second pose’ nostalgic heat when their separate face pushes hit the first hurdle sometime in the next three years. To that end, E and C need to be kept on the same brand and I don’t envisage both of them being traded away from the flagship show.
Have you noticed that most of the wrestlers I’ve chosen to be kept on Raw are because Raw would miss them and the ones I have kept on Smackdown are because it would hurt Raw to have them? That’s not intentional, it just shows in my opinion how badly needed a genuinely impactful draft lottery is to redress the roster imbalance and give the superstars on each brand a fair chance of success. In the interests of completing this column, I might as well name the five people from each show that I would trade, but I’ll spare you the reasons why. Going from Raw to Smackdown: Kane, Randy Orton, Chris Jericho, Gene Snitsky and Stacey Keibler. Going from Smackdown to Raw: Kurt Angle, Charlie Haas, Carlito, Rob Van Dam and Paul London.
By the way, did I make it clear in the first paragraph that I was talking about a loose button on my favourite winter jacket? My Mum said it would fall off if I didn’t stop playing with it. You know, I sometimes wonder if there’s any room for wrestling in those filthy minds of yours.
Lee
