Full Credit: LiveAudioWrestling.com
by Ray Pefferman
Live from Omaha, NE
1. MUHAMMAD HASSAN AND DAIVARI DEF. CHRIS JERICHO AND INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION SHELTON BENJAMIN.
Benjamin and Jericho hit a double crossbody over the top rope. Muhammad Hassan hits the face smasher on Jericho to get the win. Jericho appears angry as he walks to the back without Benjamin.
A One Night Stand commercial airs.
Chris Benoit and Tajiri tell each other that Paul Heyman invited both of them to appear at One Night Stand. Benoit challenges Tajiri to an ECW rules match tonight. William Regal comes in and tries to talk Tajiri out of it, but Tajiri accepts the match anyway.
Ric Flair tells General Manager Eric Bischoff that Bischoff needs to call HHH. “If he wants to come back to Raw,” Bischoff says, “he can call me.” Flair sees World Hvt. Champion Batista and tells him that HHH left Raw because of Batista. Batista says it is HHH’s fault. Batista says he owes and respects Flair. Delivering a tribute to Flair, he yells, “Whooo!” They part on good terms.
2. RIC FLAIR DEF. CHRISTIAN.
Christian mocks Flair’s strut. On the outside, Tyson Tomko rams Flair into the apron. When Flair is in the ring, Tomko punches him through the ropes. Flair grabs the tights and gets the win. Flair then confronts Tomko, and Christian attacks Flair from behind. A double-team by Christian and Tomko follows until Batista comes down the aisle and brawls with Tomko in the ring. Tomko gets a spinebuster, and Batista delivers a Batista-bomb to both Christian and Tomko.
Lita wishes Christy Hemme good luck in her pillow fight tonight. Edge interrupts and says what he did to Shawn Michaels is nothing compared to what he will do to Kane tonight.
Maria asks Christian if he is hurt. “Where did you get your journalism degree, on a box of Cocoa Wheats?” Christian asks.
3. CHRIS MASTERS WINS THE MASTERLOCK CHALLENGE.
This week, Masters offers $6,000 and a plane ticket anywhere because “anywhere is better than Omaha, NE,” he says. We don’t even get the man’s name this week. Steven Richards runs in and attacks Masters. Richards picks up a chair, but Masters retreats.
In the back, Kane has his throat around Edge’s neck. “If you ever talk to my wife again, I will end you,” Kane says.
4. ERIC BISCHOFF ENDS THE ECW RULES MATCH BETWEEN CHRIS BENOIT AND TAJIRI.
When we come back from break, the ECW music plays as tables and garbage cans full of weapons surround the ring. “ECW!” the crowd yells. Announcer Jerry Lawler says, “ECW will always stand for extremely crappy wrestling.” Tajiri applies the tarantula, but the referee breaks the hold. “I can’t stand this ECW crap. Somebody is gonna get hurt bad,” Lawler says. Benoit puts Tajiri on a table on the outside and climbs a ladder on the inside.
But before he jumps, Coach comes out and says Benoit must come down from the ladder. Bischoff comes out and officially ends the match. “I’d never sanction an ECW match because ECW is pure garbage,” Bischoff says. Bischoff says he is banning ECW from “Raw,” including ECW chants and signs and discussions about the group in the locker room. Bischoff says he prohibits anyone from “Raw” from appearing at One Night Stand. Bischoff says he and a group of “Raw volunteers” will go to the event and “destroy ECW once and for all.”
5. CHRISTY HEMME DEF. CANDICE MICHELLE IN A LINGERIE PILLOW FIGHT.
Hemme gets a pin with a roll-up on the turnbuckle. Viscera comes to the ring and says he is turned on, but the women run out of the ring. He then says Lillian Garcia is really turning him on tonight. “I see three things: me, you, and a nice, plush bed,” Viscera says. Viscera flirts with and kisses an attractive woman at ringside, and she gives him her cotton candy.
Garcia comes into the ring with him. He lies on the bed, and she sits on it. “I’m just like that cotton candy,” Viscera says. “I’ll melt in that sexy little mouth of yours.” The lights dim, and Vis yells, “Oh, my Lillian I can’t get enough of your love babe.” Viscera pulls a room key out of his jacket and asks her to come see him in Room 469.
Lita asks Kane if she should be out there tonight. “I want you to be out there to see me destroy him,” Kane says. They kiss.
Announcer Jim Ross says Michaels suffered a concussion when Edge hit him with a briefcase last week.
Benjamin asks Jericho if he is okay. Jericho says, “When you’ve been around this long, losing a match doesn’t really seem to bother you.” Jericho talks about all of his outside of wrestling projects. “When you’ve been doing as much as I’ve been doing, losing a WRESTLING match is no big deal.”
6. THE HURRICANE AND ROSEY with Stacy Keibler DEF. MAVEN AND SIMON DEAN TO RETAIN THE WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP.
Stacy Keibler wears a sexy, two-piece superhero outfit and mask. Keibler grinds and distracts Maven and Dean, allowing Hurricane and Rosey to get the win.
Randy Orton comes to the ring, wearing a suit, and receives a huge ovation. He says he is sick of being asked whether he will remain on Raw or go to Smackdown. “I cannot be drafted. I am on the injured list,” he says. He says Undertaker will pull some strings to stay on Smackdown and avoid him. He also says he wants Batista to keep the World Hvt. Title because he wants to beat him for the title when he comes back.
Orton is about to leave, when Vince McMahon comes to the ring. McMahon taunts Orton for losing weight. McMahon says no one is exempt from the draft, even someone injured or either of the world champions. Orton says he will make more money than John Cena and Batista combined. McMahon says the draft will begin three weeks from tonight in St. Louis. He says the draft will last for an entire month. Ross says more information about the draft lottery can be found on WWE.com.
7. TOURNAMENT FINAL: EDGE DEF. KANE.
The winner of this match will meet Batista for the World Hvt. Title next week. A sign says, “Edge is feces.” The crowd yells, “You screwed Matt!” The match is a brawl. Edge hits a low blow while the referee is distracted. Kane dominates most of the match. Edge hits the Edge-o-matic and attempts a spear. Kane grabs him and sets up a chokeslam, but Edge counters into a DDT. Kane kicks out.
Edge shoves Kane into the referee and knocks him out. Edge hits a spear, but Kane sits up. Edge grabs the briefcase, but Lita takes it out of his hands. Lita hands Edge the briefcase, and Edger hits Kane with it as Kane flies off the top rope. Edge gets the pin. Lita is suddenly able to walk without the crutch. Edge and Lita walk to the back together. “She screwed Kane,” Lawler says. Edge and Lita make out on the ramp.
Did we really have to go there? Sometimes, real life just shouldn’t be imitated. As if Matt Hardy isn’t hurting enough, he now needs to see his ex and the other man kissing on national television.
Source: LiveAudioWrestling.com
Eddie
Levski11@aol.com
