Last night’s Raw was host to five matches (all of which failed in some way), four in-ring segments (of which only one worked) and a predictable twist that does little to help a situation that Vince seems intent on resurrecting on a weekly basis. It’s episodes of Raw like this that make it difficult for me to be the shiny light of optimism that some of you guys want me to be, but the show did have some good points and I will be addressing those, even if you have to search for them.
Let’s handle the Kane/Lita/Edge/Matt thing first. Although nothing’s for certain, most wrestling fans have been aware of the WWE’s desire to throw Edge and Lita together since the story regarding Matt Hardy broke a few months ago. As soon as the first round of the ‘Gold-rush’ tournament was completed it was looking as though the final contest would be the stage for the betrayal and that’s how it worked out. I enjoyed the interaction between the three protagonists during the course of the show and it built nicely towards the main event but the nagging feeling that more vindictive forces were at work detracted from the storyline element and made the match a bit of a novelty, similar to the HBK v Bret Hart match in Montreal (albeit not on the same scale). The match itself was no better or worse than most Kane matches and Edge did a decent job of mostly selling and then trying to look dominant where it mattered.
From a product standpoint, I thought Lita’s turn was done quite poorly. No ‘will she/won’t she’ moment, no tantalising catastasis, just a simple toss of a briefcase into the ring and the cat was out of the bag. Without the shock and surprise attached to her actions, the storyline moves along too quickly and each stage becomes a disappointment if it’s glossed over too easily. The kiss was certainly gratuitous and patently wasn’t aimed at Kane but all’s fair in love and ratings I guess. Plus, with his jutty chin and her square cheeks, it looked more like two cardboard boxes kissing. And this is where the departed Matt Hardy comes in. Matt released a statement through his website branding their actions “tasteless and deplorable” which is true, but then it is also the reason why those people who liked it, did so. It’s the use of the words “real-life tragedy” that strike me as too much. When I was young I would tell my Mum that I was “starving” when I hadn’t eaten for a few hours. Matt needs to get some perspective before he devalues the word ‘tragedy’ so badly that it means nothing the next time a real disaster occurs. In the interests of balance, Vince is a money-loving son of a bitch, Edge probably is faeces and Lita is cold-hearted whore. See? A story with no heroes.
The opening contest between Jericho/Benjamin against Hassan/Daivari contained the best action of the night despite having a slow middle section and a sudden finish. It started with some fast exchanges, coupled with old school tandem offence, and Hassan showed improved footwork in keeping up with Benjamin and stiffer striking than before. The speed of Hassan’s side face-plant finishing move was awesome and cut through the confusion at the end life a knife. Glimpses of Jericho’s recent frustrations at losing were apparent and added to with a dismissive conversation with Shelton later on in the night. This story is going somewhere and it’s unlikely that Y2J will stay face once it’s done. Whilst I agree with most fans than Jericho has been turned too many times, that should be no justification for keeping him face when he’s so obviously better suited to playing the heel.
Ric Flair and Batista had a nice moment in the corridor before Flair’s match with Christian, beginning what could be Ric’s face turn and the true dissolution of HHH’s Evolution group. You’d have to say that at this time, Batista would benefit greatly from having Flair back as his manager and could take some of the promo burden that Dave occasionally struggles with. As for the match, it suffered a little from being too short and a PPV bout between these two would better highlight the chemistry they have and showcase their ring psychology. The bout ended in classic Flair style with a cheap, tainted victory and Batista running in to make the save from Christian and Tomko’s assault.
Benoit and Tajiri took it upon themselves to arrange an ECW rules match and were halfway through what would presumably have been the match of the night until Uncle Eric came out to spoil the fun. All of the speed and impact that you would expect from two such strong performers was evident and some nice moves, notably the wheelbarrow slam into the steps, made it an exciting contest, if a little disappointing that the storyline took precedence. Bischoff’s interruption and subsequent announcement was intended to rile up the ECW fans in readiness for the One Night Stand PPV and I expect Eric’s WWE invasion force to act as ‘fluffers’ at the PPV to keep the crowd hot. If you’re going to have a room full of lions, you might as well throw some meat at them.
Randy Orton’s skinny twelve-year old brother then made an appearance … what? That was Randy? First the Rock gets inked like a cheap comic and now Orton looks like one of the Fordham Baldies from ‘The Wanderers’? My wife will not be happy. Anyway, Randy cut a decent promo about not being included in the draft due to injury but Vince swaggered out and corrected him on that point. We were also treated to further details about the month-long lottery process, as well as some on wwe.com, which do cause some concern over how much impact the draft can really have when it’s spread out over such an extended period of time. I guess we’ll have to wait and see.
The Hurricane and Rosey (accompanied by Supertramp) then defeated their most prominent and highest-ranked challengers, Simon Dean and Maven. On Raw. In about three minutes. Kind of sums up the tag team scene really.
I need to say this first, the ‘lingerie/pillow fight’ thing was garbage. Having said that, if you’re going to do something wrong, at least do it right. Any of the other ‘diva’ constructs are preferable to this, it’s an insult to women that they’re that dumb and to men that we’re that easily pleased (well, almost). You know that someone has screwed up if I don’t like a segment with Candice Michelle in her underwear but anything (and that includes nothing) would have been better. I said recently that Raw should be a place for all types of segments and matches; technical, hardcore, funny, shocking, silly, serious, appealing and repulsive. To that end, when someone works out what the hell that was between Viscera and Lillian Garcia then please let me know and I’ll add it to the list.
Chris Masters did another ‘Masterlock challenge’. Steven Richards attacked him afterwards. At least it’s something. That was either glitter on Masters’ shoulders or he’s got the most flamboyant dandruff in the world.
RAW AWARDS
Match of the night – Jericho/Benjamin v Hassan/Daivari.
Worst match – Dean/Maven v Hurricane/Rosey.
Star(s) of the show – Kane/Edge/Vince.
Moment of the show – Orton/Vince segment.
Best sign – “SIGN”.
Best quote – “He’s not Idi Amin“ (Jim Ross about Viscera).
Lee
