I think we all expected the words “not as good as last week’s show” to appear in reviews of last night’s Raw and that’s not really a fair comparison considering how good the former broadcast was. However, judged as an individual event, Raw lacked a sense of direction and the two main wrestling contests received no connective storyline build up during the show, which I felt was a mistake. Despite there being no ‘Masterlock challenge’ and only one diva segment, the show suffered from too many stop/start moments and singles duty for both members of La Resistance who at this point in time barely deserve a tag team match on the flagship show.
The opening interview segment between HHH and Dave ‘our man in Havana’ Batista was nicely done and was by far big Dave’s best vocal performance to date. Taking into account that HHH’s title shot at Vengeance is guaranteed and the number one contendership is not immediately attached to a PPV match, it makes sense to keep HHH off television for one week at least and it keeps up Batista’s winning streak in the battle of one-upmanship the two are currently waging. I don’t share Dave’s concerns though; I find it unlikely that the door will hit HHH on the ass on the way out seeing as it didn’t hit him on the nose on the way in.
The two ‘gold rush’ semi-final matches were a little disappointing, but then I guess you have to expect that when talent like Benjamin, Christian, Y2J and HHH go out in the first round in favour of Kane. If Kane is still receiving instructions from the agents to ‘not wrestle too much because “you’re a monster”’ then they’re doing his character far more harm than good. Kane used TWO legitimate wrestling moves during his match with Benoit (scoop slam, chokeslam) compared to his fellow tournament finalist Edge who used five (hot-shot, choke-slingshot, neck-lock takedown, neck-breaker, spike DDT) in his semi-final match with HBK (and this was in a match where HBK took most of the offence). I’m not suggesting that Kane starts throwing ‘shining wizard’ variations during his matches but a few simple suplexes and throws and some transitional moves more advanced than kick or punch would make his offence seem a little less one-dimensional. Benoit was the centrepiece of the contest and it was his tireless work rate in the middle of the match that salvaged it from being a total washout and actually turned it into the match of the night for me. I appreciate that ‘wrestling’ will always fall second to storyline in WWE so I don’t mind Kane getting the advance over Benoit but, with the results going the way they did, it’s a shame that the craft has to succumb to Vince’s desire to put Edge/Lita together to cash in on their genuine heat.
After HBK had ridiculed Maria’s brain (is it fair to pick on something that small?) and got his outfit trapped in the ramp grill (poor design but what a fashion critic) we had HBK v Edge in what should have been a good match to end the show. Unfortunately it never really clicked into top gear and kept stuttering to a stop just when it seemed as though they had the crowd hooked. HBK continued his recent enthusiasm for elevating the mid-card and is finding a whole new reserve of energy in his performances but with Edge moving on up and Michaels’ recent opponents shifting to pastures new it seems as though Shawn needs to find a new direction or he’ll get lost in the roster reshuffle before the draft lottery even happens.
Mohammed Hassan had an interesting night. Firstly Daivari professed his desire to put himself back in Hassan’s good graces and proved that his vocal delivery is as good in apologetic English as it is in angry incomprehensibility. The manager then wrestled a short but bright contest against Chris Jericho, which would have been nice given more time but if he keeps putting in efforts like this then better days are in the offing for Daivari. Hassan suits playing the judgmental ‘older brother’ to Daivari and this will only improve his standing when his push restarts, which seems to be against IC champion Shelton Benjamin. The belt would benefit from Hassan’s heat, something which has been lacking during Benjamin’s athletic but subdued reign, but could you imagine how sweet it would be if Hassan somehow managed to get his hands on the US title? Y2J got the win which, looking back, seemed a little immaterial and it’s an unfortunate turn around that Jericho looks like playing second fiddle in Benjamin/Hassan’s upcoming feud.
Seeing as they took up a third of the wrestling action on Raw, I’d better mention La Resistance. Whilst the team does desperately need disbanding, it’s a pain that we have to endure their petty squabbles in match form. The only thing worse than saying that a match was short is saying that it was ‘mercifully’ short. Viscera’s offence is basic at best but dry butt-humping Grenier like an over-sexed oil slick is something from which I should be spared, even when I’m not eating. Vis is still chasing after ring announcer Lillian Garcia with a mixture of subtlety and conversational rape and if I was Lillian, I’d give up the nachos and turn to pie as soon as possible. Rob Conway then wrestled a superior match against Shelton Benjamin but even this bout didn’t escape from some nonsensical booking. Conway took nearly the entire offence of the match and the move/pinfall swift ending created a completely false appearance that Benjamin was out of his depth and lucky to get the win. HBK can give Shelton all the props he wants, without the backing of the creative team in all aspects of his on-screen dealings then his rise will end and the WWE will have no one to blame but themselves.
Being a member of an impatient society, it’s frustrating to be denied something even when you know you’ll like it more after a period of anticipation. Christian decided to side-step his teased match with Ric Flair and fed the goat instead. Tomko, who’s problem solving talents must be limited to 2+2=4 judging by his win/loss record, is showing signs of improvement and now seems far more prepared to fend for himself when the split with Captain Charisma eventually happens. Flair picked up the victory with a punch to Tyson’s dusty twig and berries and a trunk-assisted cover. I hope that Flair/Christian’s feud continues past the Raw match next week and through to the draft in three weeks time, there’s more mileage in these two together.
I’m glad John Cena’s video for ‘Bad bad man’ was shown because I can demonstrate that I know as little about rap as I do about wrestling. The song was done as a ‘beat’, containing no musical hook in the chorus, which weakens its longevity but the vocalisations were sound and it should do well, if only among wrestling fans. The video was similar to several done by the Beastie Boys (most notably ‘Sabotage’) but without the edginess it came across as a bit cheesy and will only serve to make him seem less legit. Cena appears labelled as a ‘likeable performer’ by his wrestling persona and he either needs to go more offensively bling or more aggressively street to shake off the lack of bite his music currently has. If he wants to improve, he should listen to Kurt Angle’s rendition of ‘Jimmy crack corn’, now dat sum bitch is da bomb, word (I’m so glad I don’t have any kids, they’d hate me right now). Give me 80’s British funk any day of the week.
It looks as though the ECW PPV may be benefiting from a storyline piece of promotion as well as just on-screen commercials. Well done Vince, nice to see that we all agree on something.
Simon Dean and Maven ruined a perfectly good segment about Stacy Keibler’s ass, but then two pussies are better than one.
RAW AWARDS
Match of the night – Kane v Benoit.
Worst match – Viscera v Grenier.
Star(s) of the show – Benoit/HBK.
Moment of the show – Briefcase shot to HBK.
Best sign – “CHRISTIAN STOLE MY GOAT”.
Best quote – “But who’s going to spit water all over themselves tonight?“ (Christian).
Lee
