“The absence of alternatives clears the mind marvelously.”
Henry Kissinger (1923 – )
Marvelous may be too big of a word. Absence of mind and alternative is what makes this country desecrate. The same goes for wrestling. In my absence and lack of reason to write anything I write because something has to give. There is a quiet before the storm right now and it’s been building for sometime now. 5 aspects of this storm can be seen. I will further this idea of an oncoming storm in the next 10 paragraphs and hopefully give someone like me who watches wrestling now with a blank stare and nostalgic memories of ECW and a Ring of Honor PPV from 2003 recently viewed.
Worst Wrestling Entertainment
current grade: D+
A “MasterLock” can easily describe the current state of the WWE. It’s a DAMN FULL NESLON…ANYONE with brains could break this! He doesn’t even do it right either. This is what is called making a big deal of something that is nothing. Like the current champion…
Batista is worse than Goldberg because even with his lack of talent or any skill at all, at least Goldberg had a gimmick, Batista doesn’t. Batista is the world champion…whatever…I watch Chris Jericho do endless jobs and I have confirmed to myself that the past 3 years of his career have been a complete and utter waste. I really hope he doesn’t resign. Tag teams are in ruins, and it seems that Vince holds auditions for future WWE womens wrestlers and the only requirement is to look good and prepare to be degraded. There is nothing positive about the WWE right now besides Paul London and John Cena. John Cena though somehow has released a rap CD which compares to one of Aaron Carter’s previous releases.
The only reason the WWE does not get an F for it’s lack of good wrestling, storylines, or common sense, is because they still have names like Chris Jericho, Chris Benoit, Eddie Guerrero, Paul London, Kurt Angle and HBK who every so often can deliver some good matches, and for the fact that John Cena despite is pathetic attempt at a rap CD is over with the crowd on levels what the Rock and Steve Austin used to be. Batista runs in on Triple H AGAIN!!! WOW!! THIS IS SO INNOVATIVE I HAVE TO TYPE THIS IN CAPS TO SHOW MY ANGRY SARCASM!!!
the storm:
We have a draft coming soon. This could shift talent around the way it should be shifted, like Christian to Smackdown! To feud with John Cena=SMART! Tajiri to Smackdown to boost the cruiserweight division (London vs. Tajiri=awesomeness) and I would love to see JBL or Kurt Angle team up with Triple H on Raw to replace Evolution, maybe jumpstart the tag team division, even feud with The Rockers. Even talks of Edge and Lita turning on Kane. Is this a good idea? YES! They already have legitimate heat on them for the Matt Hardy incident, why not use it? I would love to support Edge and Lita for a world title run! Lots of possibilities and even though Vince won’t jump on any of these, it’s good to dream. This will boost the WWE a little bit, plus rumors had it that CM Punk was backstage at a WWE event. With the success of Paul London it would be common sense to offer a contract to some great indy talent that is mostly unknown to mainstream WWE fans that are really damn talented. With the recent relationship with Ring of Honor, this could mean good things in the future for the WWE. PLUS management is seeing Batista as a mistake according to some reports, I think once Batista has a main event match without Triple H and his opponent has to carry him, he will get the axe, and that is a definite plus. The storm is also because hell, the WWE sucks…hard…how much worse could it get?
Extreme Championship Wrestling
current grade: A
yeah I know it’s dead, but you really can’t argue ECW’s success after it’s untimely demise. It’s VHS and DVD sales rocketed including the top selling “Rise and Fall of ECW”. People still want to see ECW. The WWE nor TNA has put out anything in my opinion that I would say is BETTER than ECW. I know it was a special time and place but the fact is, people want ECW.
the storm
ECW’s “one night stand”…Why? Well for one this is good news for my nostalgic ass who can never get enough of ECW. The ECW DVD was surprisingly great made by the WWE and I have a feeling that it will be the same for the PPV. What could happen though? Buyrates. If an ECW PPV pulls off a bigger buyrate than say…Wrestlemania 21 or at LEAST any other WWE PPV, I think this is proof of what a good number of fans still want in their wrestling product. People like to think of ECW as a moving product that had momentum and then stopped…nothing more than a revolution. They’re wrong, it was a promotion, with writers, wrestlers, everything every other working promotion had. The idea that ECW was a one time thing is ludicrous, and with the ECW attitude, the cast and characters present, could still create a very successful product, especially with the crap quality of the WWE. If anything, a WWE fan could watch this PPV, and see what ECW was and become addicted to it and start picking apart the shitty product that he watches every Monday night, it could once again revolutionize the product in another unimaginable way. Yes it’s wishful thinking, but definitely possible.
CZW/IWA
current grade: B-
The deal that threw Combat Zone Wrestling and IWA-Midsouth together could create some spark to the scene. I also think IWS is involved and I can’t remember if Jersey All Pro is with them but it’s a simple and beautiful concept…The best indy workers into one big promotion. We have seen just about everyone in CZW and with MLW folding earlier last year CZW has been the #2 indy promotion behind what in my opinion is the best promotion around at this time…more on that later…
the storm
I can think of at least 10 good names from the independent scene that would fare well in the WWE or TNA and make great leaps towards success, at least in helping this get off the ground. I can’t help but think if there is going to be an “all-star” indy fed with the bulk of the indy talent, then I look no further to Ring of Honor, which from top to bottom is quite amazing.
Ring of Honor
current grade: A
I don’t see a storm in CZW/IWA/JAPW/how many other promotions are with that group because RoH has provided near excellence for 3 years now. I pulled a Dougie Nunny on Ring of Honor, I missed out on Ring of Honor just as he missed out on the Monday Night Wars and beyond, and I found myself downloading everything possible from Ring of Honor, learning their history, watching these breathtaking matches one after another and what I see here in Ring of Honor is the same thing I see in ECW…
the storm
Before everyone takes what I say out of context let me explain. Ring of Honor could revolutionize wrestling, not exactly like, but LIKE ECW did. For those unfamiliar with the product, RoH is more, way more sport and wrestling, than entertainment, in fact they have strict rules, a “code of honor” to follow in each match, beautifully making any match that has a hate driven feud behind it mean more in a “match without honor”, a pure wrestling title defended to guidelines that itself give the match psychology, the attitude and respect between the wrestlers and the fans and an actual PRESTIGOUS world champion! In fact Samoa Joe (yeah I kick myself for leaving him out of my Ro64 tournament) held this title for nearly two years and actually deserved it, unlike other champions in other promotions we know about…The quality and knowledge of this promotion is so high, so much higher than the WWE or TNA it’s ridiculous and hopefully, this will catch some wind. Note though that the WWE has a relationship with Ring of Honor recently, is this because they see them as a threat? Why else do you think Vince let ECW on Raw? To “help” them? Right. He wanted them under his watch, he kept his enemies closer and I fear he is doing the same with Ring of Honor. Please though, if you haven’t already, download a CM Punk match, a Samoa Joe match, Homicide, Austin Aries, if it says Ring of Honor on it, it will be good, I promise.
Total Non-Stop Action National Wrestling Alliance
current grade: D
This isn’t a hard one to grade, lacking storylines, no quality matches, horrible booking, it’s the WWE only with Sean Waltman in the main event. Sad to say that TNA has taken a downfall ever since Vince Russo left. Dusty Rhodes is the booker and we wish he would stop. Give them some credit…they’re not dead yet, and this oncoming storm could be another uprise…
the storm
It’s hard to figure when a product was handing out matches of the year and great PPV’s only a few months ago with Turning Point and Final Resolution, but somehow, TNA quickly went to crap. There is a lot of good news though…WGN in Chicago could pick up Impact and a ton more people have WGN than FSN. The Chicago area would be great as well for TNA events and TNA can actually expand…Jarrett wants Matt Hardy, and we all know we would love to see a Hardy Boyz/AMW feud. I’ve talked about this before haven’t I? Things are looking up now for TNA! AJ Styles vs. Jeff Jarrett at Hard Justice, and Tito Ortiz is promoting it on Jimmy Kimmel. Awesome. Styles will NOT lose to Jarrett, and with Raven freed up after his house of fun match with Jeff Hardy, I think a Raven/Styles feud is great to carry TNA. We have to realize that Hard Justice has to deliver on levels bigger than Wrestlemania 21, because Ortiz will tell the whole world about TNA. All TNA has to do is drop the title to Styles, put on some great matches especially in the tag division and the NEW tag team champions the Naturals! And for Christopher Daniels to defeat the Shocker…heh, you know what a shocker is right? Yeah, that’s 2 fingers up the vagina and one up the ass. I prefer a “Spocker” you split it and put two in each hole. Hey, I am talking about TNA right? Back on subject…TNA really has to deliver on May 15th, even if by some stupid “stroke” of luck…no pun intended Jarrett is still champion, a top to bottom good show is what TNA needs to survive, and I think they finally know this too.
pointless rant and conclusion
You see, wrestling sucks right now. My e-mail inbox is filled past the 500 mark because I haven’t checked it in weeks. I’ve been a lazy bastard who just watches Ring of Honor matches all the time and occasionally fast forwards to the end of Samoa Joe musclebusters so I can hear “DANGEROUUUUUUUUUS!” Another thing about RoH which rules, the over exclamation of finishers like Japan. Jim Ross is a fat moron who just repeats “BATISTA BOMB! BATISTA BOMB! BATISTA! BOMB!” over and over and it’s lame…RoH and Japan do it with style, watch any Japanese wrestling match and tell me you don’t get goosebumps when you hear TIGER DRIVAAAAA!!!!, it rules…Ok, I’m done, really though, wrestling sucks, you may not see me next week if I get kicked off for my “shocker” comments…either way though, e-mail me, tell me you love me and that you’re glad I’m back, and if wrestling continues to suck, I’ll try my best to get out another column, but if I have to sit through another Jericho job and another crapworthy Batista run-in, heads are going to fly.
-Joseph Bachman
