No messing around this week, a few random thoughts and concerns. A cross between dissent and commentary, if you will (hang on, isn’t that dysentery?)
It can’t have escaped anyone’s attention that vast portions of the current WWE audience are taking an inordinate amount of enjoyment making life very uncomfortable for Lita and Edge based around their actions relating to Matt Hardy. I’m not going to bore any of you (that’d be a first) with the gory details or the quasi-sympathetic hugging that’s going on for Matt over the Internet right now but I feel the need to wade in with my size 10’s and kick a bit of shit around.
Firstly, to Matt, there’s no doubt in anyone’s mind that you are the victim here and you got crapped on by people that you cared about. I feel for you. And now I’m done. Here’s your free tee-shirt. The tee-shirt comes free when you join the ‘got crapped on’ club. Now even though I’ve not experienced infidelity with regards to a relationship in my lifetime, I have been on the short end of the ‘betrayal’ stick on more than a few occasions and it sucks, big time. The strength of feeling that you had for that person or those people gets turned around and becomes the catalyst for bitterness. But then you move on. You move on because to not let go of the acrimony is the same as refusing to accept that the relationship is over (do you realise how much ‘chick’ tv I had to watch to understand this crap?). Bottom line Matt, you’re experiencing emotional masturbation – in your mind there’s other people but you’re really on your own and only amusing yourself. Time to wake up, wipe up and come out of your bedroom.
As for the chanting at WWE events, you’re as bad as he is. You think fans are chanting “WE WANT MATT” or “YOU SCREWED MATT” as a mark of respect at their fallen comrade? Or that they’re taking a stand on morals in society? Bullshit. The reason why this chant is so popular at the moment is because the WWE don’t want to hear it, just like the Matt related signs they’ve taken away from fans recently. For once, the fans have a chant that wasn’t created by Vince, it’s their chant, and the more the WWE try to suppress it the more the fans will do it. One of the worst things about being a member of the audience is that you feel distant and disconnected from the storyline but these chants are giving disenfranchised fans a chance to BE the story, a chance to be insurrective and yet unaccountable. Would you be as vociferous if it were just you standing in front of Edge? Really? No no, I believe you.
To be honest I couldn’t care less what people chant. If Matt wants to wander through life like a lovesick little girl then great, he’s got the hair for it. If Vince wants to keep stealing signs from the fans then cool, he has to start getting some good ideas from somewhere. If Edge and Lita want to start a family together and have big-toothed hairy children who can’t do a decent moonsault then good luck to them, but I’d keep an eye on eachother’s cell phone records. And the fans? Keep it up, with that level of pious expectation in people you hardly know, you’ll have no one left to cheer for before you can say President Clinton.
With the upcoming dual ‘hardcore’/ECW events, I see that the subject of ‘extreme’ matches are once again on the minds of fans. Rejecting the traditional values of technical grappling and athletic endeavour, some fans would rather see a return to the ECW days of hardcore wrestling and weapons-laden violence. I’ll be the first to admit that I love a bit of gore in wrestling (I can think of nothing better to go with my dinner than seeing Mr Pogo’s ice pick plunging into Atsushi Onita’s reddening flesh) but this idea that a return to the cookie-sheet and cheap frying pan ethos would bring ECW back from the dead is garbage. Shane Douglas once said that the term ‘hardcore’ doesn’t refer to barbed wire or broken tables, it refers to the passion and work ethic of wrestlers who perform to small audiences for little money, and give of everything they have. This frame of mind is something that still exists inside every ex-ECW performer, every ECW fan and there’s nothing Vince or anyone can do that will take it away. So why so bitter?
Why do you care that Vince will profit from an ECW reunion? He bought the rights to the company fair and square, just like he did with WCW. He won, and to the victor go the spoils. But it doesn’t mean that everything the promotion stood for is now tarred by the corporate brush. The spirit and excitement of an ECW event won’t be there because Vince has a ring without duct tape holding it together or a decent arch from which the wrestlers can emerge. It’ll be there because the wrestlers and fans in attendance will recreate an entity that stood for more than profit and fame, more than merchandise sales. And that’s also why it ultimately died. Enjoy the two shows if you want to watch them and, just like with most aspects of wrestling, suspend your sense of realism for three hours and pretend the revolution is still on, even though it’s really just a museum piece.
I wanted to briefly address something that luckily we haven’t heard for a while and I hope we never hear again, the “YOU F**KED UP” chant. It’s a form of audience terrorism (wrestlers only have to make one mistake out of fifty moves to get it) and it’s the basest type of pseudo-superiority available to fans. I often make cheap, puerile jokes at the expense of wrestlers in analysis (mainly because it’s fun) but to pick up on an insignificant negative when the positives are so demanding and ram it down their throats while they’re still performing is the lowest of the low. I’m a big fan of judging standards under extreme conditions rather than the protective blanket of normalcy. Would those of you who like to chant that have the strength of conviction to do so as Owen Hart was carried out of the arena on the night he died? No, you wouldn’t.
The Raw/Smackdown draft lottery is coming up in just under a month and as expected the main topic of conversation at the moment is who’s going where. The previous drafts have failed to deliver any major changes to the roster division and the popular consensus is that Vince has to give us something important or, by the time next year’s comes around, we’ll have rumbled that it actually means very little and hardly care at all. Of course, if that were true then we’d be suspicious of this year’s version. If fans want a meaningful chant, maybe they should shout, “END THE SPLIT” whilst the draft lottery proceedings are taking place in four weeks time. I’ve also seen rumours that the two World champions are going to switch shows. Whilst I personally don’t believe this to be the case, I do that feel that John Cena’s style is more suited to an edgy, live broadcast than Batista’s. Plus it would give Batista some time to relax in front of the camera with the protection of possible retakes and a slightly dimmer spotlight. Either way, I just hope the draft lottery means something and doesn’t leave the fans feeling like they’ve been cheated out of chance to see new feuds and fresh matches. Again. Again.
Lastly, this Sunday night is WWE Backlash and the match between HBK/Hogan and Hassan/Daivari. In a surprising turn of events, I’m actually quite interested in seeing the match. Thanks to the tag turmoil bout and Kane/Vis, it won’t even be the worst match on the card so what do we have to lose? Of course, Hogan won’t be pinning Hassan will he? Will he? Deep breath if he does. If only in my pathetic and brutally boring way, I’ll be coming for you Hogan.
Lee
