The fact that Raw from Birmingham, UK only boasted four matches, two of which were glorified out-of-feud squashes, suggests that the show wasn’t any good but luckily the broadcast relied far more on its segments and interviews and that’s where it shined. Just like last week the pace was frantic and each piece only lasted a few minutes but, definitely unlike seven days ago, the individual segments were well thought out and expertly performed and added up to a very enjoyable two hours. Fans of a certain ‘Captain Charisma’ have every right to be excited about last night’s show but I would also suggest some caution. This mini-push is not the final elevation up to main event status and it will still be some time before Christian is counted as one of the big game players, despite him carrying a large percentage of Raw. Judging by the fans recent reactions to him, his face turn (whenever that happens) will more than likely be the time to push him through the roof and until then the WWE should look after him, give him good opportunities to steal the spots and give him good opponents with which to work. I know that Edge is hardly Mr Popular right now but in a year or so when Matt Hardy and his fans have gotten over whatever it is they’re clinging to, a Christian/Edge reunion as a duo with singles aspirations could be a useful platform for both wrestlers to make the jump to the main event.
The night started in unusual fashion with Batista doing everything he can to undo the ‘aloof’ persona he’s been building for himself over the last year. Forced laughter, cuddling up to JR and talking like an insincere game show host are not the actions of an ‘animal’. I guess the ‘human’ side has to come out eventually otherwise his character will remain shallow and that doesn’t work for long (unless you’re Goldberg) but I think it’s a bit too soon to be playing his ‘buddy’ card and it seemed unnatural. The opening interaction between Batista/HHH will do the big man good because he was allowed to dominate the conversation within a very tight structure and it gave him few chances to fluff his words. The next segment in the saga was my personal favourite of the night, Flair with Christian and Tomko. It’s nice to see that whether you’re old school or nu school, comic timing and a passion for performing can produce a cracking bit of business.
Christian then came to the ring to address his peeps and got a visit from Kane who seems to like the British air as he looked sharper than I’d seen him for ages, albeit only for a few seconds. To cut a short story even shorter; Christian legged it, Tomko got choked and CC is down a problem solver. The second best segment of the night was the conversation at Evolution’s doorway between Christian and, first, Flair and then HHH. Damn that Christian he’s even entertaining when he’s talking to himself. Later on we find out that Evolution and Christian have hatched a brilliant plan (that’s never going to work) to stack the deck against Batista including Coach as guest referee.
Christian against Batista was never going to be either a fair fight or a contest presented as being between two equals so the interference and ref shenanigans were always to be anticipated. I expected to have to make certain concessions to the match, despite Christian’s presence, but it actually worked quite well. Batista found another gear, if a sweaty one, and the spots involving HHH, Coach and Flair helped to protect Christian from taking a one-sided beating that he didn’t deserve and would have set his character back a few steps. The result was inevitable and the ‘one of them posing/one of them laying’ finale to the show seems to be the norm these days but at least the feud was moved on, if maybe a little sideways rather than forward, and it played out as a more than watchable Raw storyline in its own right.
The other good match of the night came at the end of a fairly dim segment but at least it had a reason to exist, even if most of the divas on show didn’t. The Raw divas came out (looking like a million dollars) and introduced the ‘Daily Star’ girls (looking like £3.20). Man, first the Sun newspaper, now the Daily Star – the only thing lower is to have the mature ladies of ‘40+’ magazine to appear on Raw next time. The only good sign for the UK is that our girls had the more amply filled tee-shirts and that’s without the assistance of the surgeon’s blade. But I digress. It was all done to help promote William Regal’s autobiography (the ‘golden mile’ being the Las Vegas style sea-front at Blackpool) and UK’s very own did a decent job of being not such an English gent; if only slightly naughty. Then out came Hassan, the biggest mood killer since a pube in the throat, and challenged the tag champs to a non-title match. More proof, if it were needed, that Hassan and Daivari are ideally suited to tag team wrestling and should be given the belts after their ‘match’ with HBK and Hogan at Backlash. For his part, Regal seemed energised by the partial crowd and the match was nicely done, if a little short.
The other two matches weren’t quite so rewarding. Jericho rumbled with Sylvain Grenier in a fairly meaningless encounter and Edge fought Val Venis in a match surely designed just to remind Val’s fans that he’s still employed by the company. Although the respective run-ins from Benjamin and Benoit added a point to the proceedings it was just a chance to wonder why two such quality performers weren’t given a wrestling spot on the show. My choice would have been to have a four-way elimination match between Edge/Jericho/Benjamin/Benoit. It could have lasted longer than the two singles matches, been a shoe-in for the match of the night and not blown any freshness for the upcoming PPV bouts.
The unlikely combination of Viscera and Trish Stratus made several appearances throughout the show in pre-taped ‘date’ skits. Big Vis did an especially good job of parodying himself and at times conjured up memories of ‘sexual chocolate’ Mark Henry on his date with Chyna. The bits involving Viscera’s ‘protection’, Trish’s appalling English accent and Viscera’s dancing were particularly cringe-worthy but it was entertaining stuff and possibly the first time in his career that people want to see more of the big man (so to speak).
The only interest I have in the ‘escape the Masterlock’ segment is seeing how unconvincingly the experienced indie wrestler can try to look like someone who’s never stepped between the ropes of a wrestling ring before.
I don’t have a Hogan joke this week as he only appeared briefly and, if only in terms of talking him up, put over HBK far more than himself. So, try this instead:
Man goes to see his doctor and says “Every time I take my pants down to go to the bathroom, I can hear “YOU SCREWED MATT, YOU SCREWED MATT”. “I wouldn’t worry” says the doctor “every asshole’s chanting that at the moment”.
RAW AWARDS
Match of the night – Batista v Christian.
Worst match – Edge v Venis.
Star(s) of the show – Christian/Viscera/Trish.
Moment of the show – Flair in Christian’s dressing room.
Best sign – “BATISTA FEARS HEADBANGER MOSH”.
Best quote – “Or when I go to Smackdown and beat that Ali G rip-off, John Cena” (Christian).
Lee
