I’ve been writing my columns for about four months now and I like having a platform on which to say what I feel, primarily because I like the sound of my own voice. In amongst the words of encouragement, I’ve received some less than complimentary comments and emails from people who’ve read my columns and in the main I’ve replied to them via email because that’s how I do business. Before I go any further, I thought people who missed the opportunity to would like to read this:
Finally, the person I have been highly pissed off at since the very first column! I don’t even know how the hell to tell you how much I HATE your columns and find them to be garbage that should be ripped and torn to shreds of pieces and burned to ashes. The criticism you ALWAYS have. Listen you f*cking punk ass bastard, don’t criticise or complain or whatever the hell you always do on your stupid brutally boring columns until you go and try to do what whoever you complain and criticise do for a living. Try it. I dare you, in fact I double, triple, quadruple, infinity dare you to try what they do for a living. After you do that, you can do what you want. I’m sorry to be mean, but, I hate it when wrestlers get that disrespect from fans, much less Internet fans. Look, leave them alone. Stop bashing, complaining, criticising, or anything like that. These people sacrifice their families, their life, health, themselves, and put it ALL on the line for us and when you don’t like something, you have to talk negative about it??? How dare you. The things you said about a legend, yes LEGEND, like Hogan, and like Undertaker. How you done what they’ve done? You can say you have, but have you really? No I don’t think so. Until you do, talk positive or don’t say anything. You think Hogan and Taker got where they are by doing what you do all the time? NO! They worked their asses off day after day, night after night, week after week, month after month, year after year! Look at their illustrious legendary careers, all the blood, everything they took, all the punishment they took, and still came back for more. If you can do that, congrats to you. I just don’t think you can, and I haven’t seen you out there on tv yet so what does that say? And don’t say you have either when you know you haven’t!!!
XxUTLives4LifexX
Okay. I’ll address the larger implications in a second but first a few small notes:
I know that you have the right to use strong language if you wish but my two young nieces like to read my column so if you could tone it down slightly I would be most grateful (mind you, they probably know more swear words than I do).
This doesn’t automatically infer that I’m ‘hard as nails’ (I’m not, I’m a nice guy) but I’ve had death threats, in person, from a convicted murderer so you don’t need to apologise for being mean, I dare say I can handle it. I liked ‘punk ass bastard’ though, there’s a font style called ‘punk ass bitch’ so maybe I could be the male equivalent?
You use the word ‘punishment’. If we’re talking about life in general and not just wrestling then I can say for sure that I’ve broken more bones than Hogan and the Undertaker put together and I’m suffering from rheumatoid arthritis aged 34 because of it. The next time I wake up to find I can’t move at all or I can’t get a job because prospective employers know I’ll be a medical liability to them, I’ll be grateful I’m not Hogan or Taker who were paid amazingly well for their sacrifices.
I completely agree that Hogan is a legend, as is the Undertaker. Hogan is the biggest draw the industry has ever known and is the single most important wrestling figure in modern history. I said in a previous column that “Whilst the performances and abilities of the WWE wrestlers are fair game for analysis and criticism, I would never denigrate the hard work and sacrifice that they inject into the business and I freely admit that they live a life that I will never know and never fully appreciate just how demanding it is.” I stand by that comment. The jokes I make at Hogan’s expense are made because I think it’s funny. And because I think his current return to the WWE is a step backwards for the company, it makes it harder for new talent to get heat and it’s ludicrous to suggest that a man of his age and condition can be a dominant force in the ring. But mostly just because it’s funny. Stuff like: what have Hogan’s agent and Viscera’s toilet got in common? They both have to deal with a large brown asshole. See how easy that was? And the world didn’t end. Hogan didn’t die when I said that and I’m fairly sure his place in the Hall of Fame is secure despite my joke. It’s a tough world mate and you need a sense of humour. Want to hear an arthritis joke? What’s my favourite punk rock band from the 70’s? Stiff little fingers. I know it wasn’t that funny but if you can’t laugh occasionally then I suggest you start crying ‘cos the world’s a crappy place if you can’t smile.
The only negative thing I’ve said about Undertaker is I once claimed in a column that he was selfish. I received an erudite comment in reply from IWPhenom who said “I only have to disagree with one minor thing. Taker isn’t a selfish man. He’s a passionate wrestler who, despite having accomplished everything he could want to, still performs at 40, to entertain us fans. He never went into movies like Hogan and he’s always happy to put people over.” I was happy to leave it there because he made a perfectly valid point, my only disagreement being that I can’t think of many people for whom the Undertaker has laid down, but that’s just my opinion. I’ve always been a big fan of the Undertaker and the “selfish” comment I made was primarily in reference to his reluctance to do tv or house shows but then this is intended to prolong his career so I think it’s done more out of necessity than out of greed. I will however say that you pass on your legacy before you retire so that someone else can benefit from the importance of your achievements. I will be disappointed if the Undertaker runs out the remainder of his career without finding a worthy torch-bearer for all that he has done in the business but even the most optimistic of fans must see that there is no prospect currently ‘good’ enough on Smackdown to be able to carry such a portfolio. But then that shouldn’t really be a distinction that is the Undertaker’s to make.
You say that I should only talk positively about wrestling and certain wrestlers. On that idea I just flat out disagree. Criticism and discussion are vital parts of analysis, as long as you say something more important and thoughtful than ‘Cena sucks’ (for example), and I am more than willing to discuss with you your feelings regarding Hogan and my columns (as long as you can be more thoughtful than “punk ass bastard”). Disagree with me, argue with me, call me names but don’t tell not to say what I feel like saying because I’m going to say it and I’m going to say it often.
I’m also not totally cool with your idea that those who have never reached the heights of Hogan and Taker shouldn’t be entitled to pass judgement on professional wrestling in general. Apart from anything else, I’m assuming you’re not a former or current WWE or World heavyweight champion so you, by your own ideals, shouldn’t be allowed to comment thereon either. If you think I’m trying to put myself over the performers on which I comment then you’re missing the point of my writing. I love wrestling and I used to be a freelance journalist, the two things kind of seemed to lend themselves to doing this. I consider myself an optimist but I don’t shirk my responsibility to call things as negative when I see them that way. I give people chances and a fair opportunity to impress (read my recent comments about Masters or Hemme) but I’m not going to paper over the cracks just because you don’t like to hear it.
I need to finish this ‘cos I’m starting to bore myself. If any of you fans of wrestling out there feel the need to let me have it for either a good reason or just because you want to call me a few names then great, I’ve got time to spare and skin thicker than Torrie Wilson. If you want to disagree with my point of view or you just want to call me a ‘loser’ (hello Mrs Batista) then I’m cool with it all so keep doing it.
As for XxUTLives4LifexX, I’ve achieved several of my goals in life. I’ve written songs and played them with my band at a major UK festival, I’ve made friends all over the world via email, I’m a published journalist and I’m married to a wonderful woman. Alas, my dreams of becoming a WWE superstar are rapidly fading as time goes by so you’ll just have to allow me my right to free speech without the benefit of a storied wrestling career. I understand why you wrote what you did. I thought about it, cuddled up to my security blanket and vowed through my shimmering tears to carry on writing despite what you said. So until the sites kick me off, I’m here to stay you scrotum faced piece of shit.
Might as well finish with another Hogan joke. It’s nice to see that he’s so dedicated to his gimmick, even his urine is yellow and red.
No? Try this one. Someone asked me the other day if, despite being so tanned, he has a small white prick. I said yes, he’s called Jimmy Hart.
Keep smiling.
Lee
