Hello wrestling fans and welcome once again to The Trademark Rants. In case you didn’t already know, I’m giving away free advice to people who obviously don’t want it, because, quite frankly, I have to fill this column with something, and I’m really short on ideas right now.
This week’s edition focuses on Total Non-Stop Action Wrestling. As it turns out, TNA is in a lot deeper water than I thought they were in just a mere month and a half ago. And when I say “deep water”, I don’t mean “they’re about to run out of money” (although, it might be possible depending on whom you choose to believe on the Internet)… No, I mean it in the “everything that was going right months ago is now going terribly, terribly wrong” kind of way.
My first reaction to the recent few episodes of Impact is something in the league of “What are these people doing?!?!”, being asked incredulously as I sit in front of my TV screen wondering just who is smoking what in the TNA Creative Meetings these days. First off, is it just me, or does TNA seem to have no less than half of their Sunday PPV matches are booked with some sort of gimmick stipulation, such as Ladder Matches, Cage Matches, Street Fights, First Blood Matches, Metal Mayhem Matches, and so on and so forth? What is with all of the gimmick matches? I mean, am I crazy, or does nearly half of every TNA PPV these days have some sort of stipulation or another attached? And exactly WHY are these stipulations attached? Is it because of some sort of storyline or angle where such a match would actually make sense, or are these stipulations attached because someone (*cough* Dusty Rhodes *cough*) doesn’t seem to know (or, at the very least, remember) how to draw crowds without these “shock and awe” tactics? Personally, I tend to believe it’s the latter, but that’s me. And, it might not be all Dusty’s fault, either… but then again, it might be.
The second reaction I have to the current TNA product is “Why are there so many has-beens in this company nowadays?” Seriously, this is a complaint of many a TNA critic. Even back in the days when TNA couldn’t afford to keep actual “has-beens” for more than a month or two, many people whined about the TNA roster. This is not a new problem. Unfortunately, now with the addition of “The Outlaw” (Billy Gunn, to the rest of us), and Sean Waltman (TNA is calling him that, right? Just want to be sure, because they might be calling him The 123-X-Syxx-Lighting-Kid-Pac, or whatever his name is this week…), TNA really is starting to look like the WWE “has-been” haven many TNA critics claim they are. Along with Waltman and “The Outlaw”, you have BG James, Konnan, Kevin Nash, Dustin Rhodes, Chris Candido, DDP and to a lesser extent, Raven, making TNA seem like a WWE refuge. Not to say that TNA shouldn’t hire former WWE talents and big names, but from the lust I mentioned, most of those guys are past their prime. To TNA’s credit, they have managed to make Raven nearly as relevant as he was in ECW, used BG and Konnan mostly to enhance Ron Killings and build a popular babyface faction in TNA, and refreshed Chris Candido’s career, but the rest of these guys are, well… taking up space. The only thing Sean Waltman has done in the past three years is have a messed-up relationship with Chynna Doll (Joanie Lauer a.k.a. WWE’s Chyna) and wind up being painted as an extremely abusive boyfriend by the producers of The Surreal Life. As for “The Outlaw”, how many times had WWE tried DESPERATELY to get Billy Gunn over in the WWE? 6? 7? 900? Outside of a tag team, Mr. Gunn didn’t really have anything going for him, except for maybe his entrance theme. Beyond that? Nada. Kevin Nash’s motivation is obviously money. DDP’s just doing this so he can hawk his upcoming yoga book. Dustin Rhodes only has a role because his dad is booking him, and let’s be honest… up ‘til about a month ago, TNA wasn’t doing much of anything with the 3 Live Kru, except for having them fill in a spot where AMW wasn’t available at the moment.
So, really, why is TNA hiring all of these guys? At least when they brought in Jeff Hardy, there was a reason… Fans wanted Jeff back. You might not want him back, but there’s a whole horde of screaming girls, pseudo-goth kids, and guys like ME, who actually LIKED Jeff Hardy in the WWE (for the most part) and felt WWE was burying him for no good reason, who did. So when TNA brought him back, they made some money off of it. But who’s paying to see the other guys from DX, who OBVIOUSLY couldn’t make it on their own, when all they’re going to do is fight one another? Without Triple H or Shawn Michaels, there’s NO MONEY to be made from a DX Reunion, and only a small amount of money to be made from a New Age Outlaws reunion. A Hardys’ reunion, on the other hand, could really make some bank, especially if Matt and Jeff were to win the NWA Tag Team Titles (and be one of only a few teams in Wrestling History to hold both the WWE and NWA Tag Team Championships). But that’s getting ahead of myself… My point is, why is TNA hiring the refuse of the Wrestling Industry and treating them like big names? Sean Waltman’s rep is, at best, trashed thanks in part to VH1, Chynna Doll, Howard Stern, some porn company, and his own pseudo-greaser self. “The Outlaw” is really only known as Wrestling’s Longest-Running Gay Joke, and even then, the Nameless One doesn’t have much in the way of drawing power. Sure, a card with “The Outlaw” wrestling against Chris Hamrick for the CAPW Title may draw a hundred or so people to a Cleveland All-Pro Wrestling Show, but those hundred or so people probably go to nearly every CAPW show anyway. He’s not nessisarily drawing more fans to the show that if Raven was going to be there, or Buff Bagwell, or AJ Styles, or “Pitbull I” Gary Wolfe, or the Blue Meanie, or Simon Diamond, or even the Disco Inferno. The point is, “The Outlaw” isn’t drawing anything more than the same sect of fans who would go and see Simon Diamond or The Disco Inferno at the same show!
Now, if TNA really wants to hire some guys who’ll have a real impact on the product, then they should have called Rhyno and Matt Hardy last week. Given, neither of them will be able to wrestle for TNA until June or July, but at least the conversations should have begun. As I mentioned earlier, I believe a Hardy Boys’ reunion would become a gargantuan moneymaker for the promoter who’s smart enough to make it happen. The fanbase for the Hardy Boys is enormous, even to this day, and despite what Matt and Jeff may say, somewhere deep inside, they both know that a reunion, at this stage in their career, may, in fact, be inevitable. There is far too much demand for a potential Hardys’ Reunion to be ignored. Any promoter in their right mind would OBVIOUSLY want to do everything they could to reunite the Hardy Boys, even for a short while, and give them a Tag Team Championship run. I would. I know some promoters are thinking about it (it’d be foolish not to). And I can bet you dollars to pesos that a Rhodes or a Jarrett is salivating over this possibility as we speak. If this doesn’t happen, I’ll be surprised. But then again, this IS TNA we’re talking about here.
On the plus side in TNA, Jeff Jarrett has at least made the NWA World’s Heavyweight Title a credible world championship again. No offense to Steve Corino or Dan Severn, but there weren’t nearly as many wrestling fans watching them when they were defending that title around the world as there are watching Jeff Jarrett holding that belt now. TV does help the title’s image, but publication of the NWA Champion’s Title defenses helps a whole lot more. There was little publication about Corino’s reign or Severn’s reign. In fact, I don’t think the NWA Title has gotten this much press since the late 1980’s and the heyday of one Ric Flair… or, perhaps, Shane Douglas’ microscopic reign, when he threw the belt down and declared himself the ECW World Heavyweight Champion. This is a good thing, despite whatever complaints one may have about Jarrett holding the NWA Title. Personally, I see Jarrett’s reign ending at Hard Justice at the hands of AJ Styles, but that’s just me. It is the only logical reason for Monty Brown’s heel turn, after all. I mean, seriously… if AJ wasn’t going to win the title soon, what logic is there in the Monty Brown turn? None. DDP’s not going to stick around much longer, there’s no real reason to have him feud with Monty, even for the short-term. Kevin Nash is about to leave. Sean Waltman’s back isn’t likely to hold up much longer. Ron Killings isn’t anywhere near the title scene. And there’s no other major babyface for Brown to work with, so… AJ either has to win the title, or TNA isn’t expecting to resign Monty Brown.
Speaking of Monty Brown, rumors are now abound that Monty isn’t being paid on time by TNA. Now, of course, with this rumor, there’s the general opinion that this is a mistake on TNA’s part, because Monty’s contract comes up later this year, and should he decide not to resign with WWE, he WILL go to the WWE. There is no “might” about this, ladies and gentlemen. Should he not resign with TNA, he will go to WWE. Either that, or Vince McMahon is a moron. Either way, there is no good reason for TNA to be doing this… UNLESS they’ve given up all hope of resigning him. In other words, someone in TNA may be so convinced that Monty is going to WWE that they aren’t even going to try. Fire this person NOW!!! They are only going to hold TNA back! TNA should be doing everything possible to make Monty Brown and AJ Styles happy, because, whether you like it or not, Monty and AJ are the cornerstone of the current TNA product. They are the top two superstars TNA has made since they came on the scene a few years back. Letting the superstars you created and built up to the main event go to another promotion once you’ve put them on top is like leaving your 10 year-old daughter with a previously-convicted child molester. It’s stupid! You know darn well that your daughter could end up being raped and killed by that pervert, and you know darn well that the WWE is going to offer AJ Styles and Monty Brown some really sweet deals when their contracts come up later this year! AJ even said himself that if the offer is good enough, he would consider going to WWE. He does have a family to support, after all…
So, to put this whole rant into perspective, let me summarize what I had said today. TNA needs to seriously lay off the Gimmick Matches and concentrate on making good television shows and angles that will attract long-term audiences, rather than the “shock and awe” minority that will buy a PPV just for the highspots. They also need to stop hiring true has-beens who will not add any value to their current product, and rather, hire major name prospects that have A) a long-term future in this business; B) a strong fan base that will follow said superstar from WWE to TNA; and C) the ability to be used in a way that will actually help TNA make MORE MONEY. TNA is, at the very least, bringing credibility to the NWA Championship by putting the title on a well-known superstar such as Jeff Jarrett, and allowing him to tour the world defending said title. But, while TNA is building stars and bringing credibility to the NWA, they are also making a costly mistake with Monty Brown, who could very well jump to the WWE by the end of this year, by not paying him on time. Either someone is giving up on resigning him, or someone is just being stupid. Regardless, this should be rectified soon, before the contract negotiations begin.
And finally, I think this needs to be said – Dusty Rhodes needs to be removed as Head Booker of TNA. Every problem in TNA, from the overuse of gimmick matches, to the hiring of bad hands and “has-been” superstars, to the lack of focus on TNA’s Signature, the X-Division, to the general decline of quality in TNA programming over the past few months, can all be traced back to an executive decision made by Dusty Rhodes. To draw a modern audience, a modern thinker must be used. Someone who understands the current state of the business and someone who is aware of what today’s fans want to see. Whatever success Dusty had in the 1980’s is obviously not translating to success in 2005, where the wrestling business, and wrestling fans themselves, are completely different creatures then they were 20 years ago. Today’s fans are not going to tolerate a focus on what worked 20 years ago. Today’s generation wants something faster, edgier, and more exciting. If Dusty Rhodes cannot deliver that, he should be removed and replaced with someone more in-tune with today’s wrestling audience. But that’s just my opinion, and from what I understand, no one asked me. So don’t worry. I just said this to fill up a few pages for a column that maybe 12 people read at any given time…
Well folks, that’s all for me this week. If you have any comments, questions, or anything else you’d like to share, feel free to write me at TheMaverickMJ@yahoo.com. Thanks for reading, and feel free to come back again for another installment of The Trademark Rants!
– Ephesians 6:12 (King James Version)
