For fans like me who’ve been watching wrestling for quite a few years now and constantly have to stifle the desire to tell people how it used to be in the ‘old days’, this week’s episode of RAW was a chance to sit back enjoy some passions from our past. In a near flawless show, the WWE blended modern stars with old school heroes and it came across seamlessly. I’ll come back to RAW in a minute but I want to give my take on our prodigal superstars last night.
It bugs me that some people’s only experience of Jake Roberts is from the film Beyond the mat where he is presented as an incoherent, broken-down old man. The reason why Jake’s candle is dimming is because it burned so brightly when he was at the peak of his abilities (coupled with the copious drug use). He could wrestle when the mood took him but he always retained a flat-footed quality in the ring and, like Flair, used presence and psychology to paper over the cracks. It was on the microphone that I will most remember Roberts. If you never saw it then you won’t get it because you’ll be deadened by today’s promos that pale into insignificance by comparison. Jake was a poet, an artist with words who painted a portrait of fear and paranoia that genuinely unnerved. His feuds with Rick Rude and Randy Savage will go down in history as some of the most passionate and unpalatable stuff the WWE has ever done. On RAW, Jake seemed more alive than we’d seen in a while. Sure, his voice was wrecked and the body had seen much better days but there was an energy about him that mirrored what he used to stand for and he seemed to take a lot of enjoyment in putting Orton over. I thought the highlight reel segment was done very well, even down to Roberts making the first move of attack unlike a lot of the veterans who only break the smile and respond when it’s a lifetime too late. WWE creative could benefit a lot from Jake’s experience and wealth of wrestling knowledge if his body and mind recover from his recent and not so recent troubles.
It’s a different story with Jannetty. During their tag team days, no one really cared about them as individuals, we only knew them as The Rockers. Whilst it was never apparent that either of them would go on to singles success, it became clear during the team’s break up that Shawn was the one with the charisma and he rightly got the push he deserved. Jannetty made a decent start to his singles career switching the IC title with HBK at around the time that Diesel started appearing as Shawn’s bodyguard but the push fell quiet and over time he got demoted to tag matches and putting over the new guys. The tag titles failed to put the sparkle back and a doomed run with Al Snow as The New Rockers died because everyone was looking at Sunny and not the teams around her. Marty hit the independent scene like a bug on a windshield and got the nickname ‘No Show’ for several missed appearances. Seeing Jannetty tag with Michaels again was a joy but it can’t have failed to sink in with him that he is a bypass to HBK’s superhighway, appearing at the start and the end but nowhere to be seen in the middle.
If any of the WWE under-card spend too much time reading the internet and fools itself into thinking that HHH’s position is protected purely by politics then they must have let out a resigned groan after his match with Benoit on RAW. When you see how good these two are at wrestling at full speed and how smoothly they tessellate it’s a shame to remember that at Wrestlemania HHH is going to have more of a carrying job to do and the match quality will be far inferior as a result. It reaches a point where you feel as though any technical points you can raise will be obsolete because, in order to be able to wrestle like that, they must also be able to understand it better than I can. I will say this; the pace, impact, timing, execution, connection and presentation were streets ahead of anything else on the show and for me it cemented Benoit’s place as the best technical wrestler currently active and HHH as the best all round performer in the World.
When the promo for the Edge/Benjamin match appeared before the commercials I’d already written the first four minutes of the match off as ‘a bit predictable’ so I was pleased to see the bookers bite into the action at the start with a pre-match ambush and let the angle trickle through into the opening exchanges as well. The wrestling part of the match was crisp, most notable for Shelton’s awesome top-rope leap and sunset flip, and the finish involving Jericho and the ladder went some way to ending the match satisfactorily and further promoting the ‘Money in the bank’ contest at Wrestlemania.
Kane against the team of Christian and Tomko was less of a successful marriage of match and marketing. Not even the multi-talented Christian could save this match and we had to endure another re-run of the Kane show complete with plodding offence and dated moves too dull to recant. Even the most ardent of Kane fans must see that the gimmick will suffer if Glen refuses to update even his most basic of power-moves and throw in a few variations once in a while. I’ll be amazed if he wins the title shot at Wrestlemania because the lazy git has done little to deserve even the most rumbling of pushes. The ladder played an equal part at the conclusion of this match but, partly due to Kane’s clumsiness and Tomko’s stupidity at not raising his hands to deflect the impact, it only served to split Tyson’s cheek open with a deep gash that must have taken some sewing to close.
The main event, if it can be called that, was a one-on-one encounter between champion in waiting Batista and the walking join-the-dots game Snitsky. It’s a shame to have to lay into Gene when you compare him to the utterly useless Heidenreich but his shortcomings are so visible it’s a wonder he made it up to the big leagues at all. Batista is nowhere near good enough to be able to carry Snitsky to an enjoyable match so the two of them walked through the carefully scripted contest as if in auto-pilot and we got to the end without pissing on the graves of every dead wrestler who’s ever put art in their craft.
I wanted to commend Ric Flair on his performance during the whole show. Ric showed a genuine enthusiasm for his work on RAW and he livened up every scene in which he appeared. It’s a shame he’s not like that more often.
The Wrestlemania promos returned to form this week with their best one yet. Christy and Kurt parodying the fake orgasm/restaurant scene from ‘When Harry met Sally’ was a good piece of casting, clever writing and was delivered with good comic timing. I liked Linda McMahon’s appearance at the end as the frustrated fellow diner, especially considering Vince’s current incapable state of health. Christy also gave a good account of herself in the training skit involving Regal/Tajiri. For my money, Regal is still the second funniest guy on RAW (behind Christian) and his mannerisms and pained facial expressions upon being booted in the happy-sacks were good comedy business. It’s just a shame the tag champs can’t make it into a wrestling contest on RAW thesedays, let alone a Wrestlemania match.
Hassan came out and complained about racism. Or towels. Or something. I’ll suspend the company roasting because they must have some reason for this waste of reasonable talent but if it’s less than the Hassan/Hogan match we’re all half expecting then it’ll be a let down.
I’m so glad that you guys out there took no sexual inference from Trish threatening to ‘eat Christy alive’ and I look forward to us watching with nothing but thoughts of wrestling when she ‘mounts her for a ride’ and ‘works on her chest’ come Wrestlemania. Trish threw Maria into some trash cans but luckily avoided damaging any vital organs, only hurting her brain in the incident.
When Jannetty said that he’d brought his gear, I assumed he meant his wrestling gear and not the costume he wears for his burlesque drag act entitled Viva Las Rockers. Doesn’t he know that pink and tassels are SO 1995?
RAW AWARDS
Match of the night – Benoit v HHH.
Worst match – Kane v Christian/Tomko.
Star(s) of the show – Rockers/Jake Roberts/Flair.
Moment of the show – Christy/Angle Wrestlemania promo.
Best sign – “(WHAT YOU) TALKING ABOUT DAIVARI?”.
Best quote – “No one will remember you tapping out to Chris Benoit last year, squealing like a pig, whining like a baby” (Flair to HHH).
Lee
