“The best way to predict the future is to invent it.”
-Alan Kay
Maybe I’ve watched Fight Club too much…No, maybe YOU should watch it more. Regardless I try for one column to stay away from the wrestling revolution that is my brain and that lies in many wrestling fans unhappy with the current product every monday. I’ll drop that arguement for now but I’ll pick up an excuse…
Smark Question: Why do guys like Chris Jericho, RVD, Booker T, Christian, even Edge and now Benoit always get held back?
WWE mark Answer: They need to build the future foundation of the WWE and push the younger talent.
Comments? Bullshit. Batista is 36 years old. Let’s test this thoery though, for the sake of this column let’s assume that any wrestler over the age of 40 has retired. No wrestler really retires, but we can only speculate what the future may hold with this pool of “younger” talent. So again, the rules are any wrestler over 40 has been retired, this includes a pretty big list and would make sense if they really ARE pushing the next generation. Second rule is NO TNA wrestlers. I’m sure Vince will drag over some TNA talent eventually, especially the ones that are not 100% loyal to TNA like a Sonjay Dutt, Kid Kash, or Monty Brown. With those two rules in mind I will now try to put together Wrestlemania 25. Where it all begins…again…another time…again…
List of retirees
Chris Benoit (41)
The Undertaker (46)
Shawn Michaels (43)
Kurt Angle (40)
Triple H (40)
Dave Batista (40)
John Layfield (43)
Eddie Guerrero (41)
William Regal (43)
Kane (41)
Booker T (43)
Ric Flair (60)
Okay, so Triple H will NEVER retire. He’ll likely play a commishioner role. Actually, I’m already steps ahead of that. So without further…stuff…here is WRESTLEMANIA 25!
[graphic poorly made in 5 minutes by me]
Disiples of Synn vs. Mac Johnson and Da Beast
What? I know. You may have no clue who these guys are. We have to take into consideration all of the OVW guys that will eventually make thier presence known in the WWE. I can see Mac Johnson and Da Beast become a successful tag team, and ALSO Seven (Mordecai) and Travis Bane (Tyson Tomko) who were the Disciples of Synn in OVW which is a great gimmick. Think of the promos they could cut using the 7 deadly sins. Bring in Synn, who is a not your usual diva, she’s this really hot goth, but she is also not a plastic surgery playboy model either. Anyways, Melina (another OVW) and Synn devolop a strange friendship and the problem is Melina is the valet for Da Beast and Mac Johnson and they do not mix well with the D.O.S.. This create a simple storyline and a good opening match to Wrestlemania 25 where Melina could turn on her team or….something.
Trish Stratus vs. Lita vs. Alexis Laree vs. Victoria {WWE Womens title}
Not much will change in the womens division, the main 3 or 4 women on Raw will be the only actual wrestlers. Alexis Laree is an awesome talent in OVW I’m waiting for Vince to bring up soon. Victoria would get the win here if I booked it because she can shake her ass…and wrestle TOO!
Eugene vs. Carlitio Cool {winner gets Joy}
We’ll say sometime down the road Carlito Cool steals Joy away from the Big Show. A feud ensues, Joy turns on Show etc…Eugene goes to Smackdown and wins the heart of Joy on Valentines Day and devolops a small crush on her. This match and feud would spark much interest and endless in-ring promos with Joy caught between Eugene and Carlito. I’ll let you decide who wins.
Low-Ki vs. Paul London {WWE Cruiserweight title}
Yes, Vince has bagged Low-Ki. He runs the cruiserweight division with the only real competition in Paul London. London would get the win here, but think of how awesome this match would be. You can decide the winner again. In fact you can decide on all of them. E-MAIL ME!
TLC 10: Edge & Christian vs. The Dudley Boyz {WWE Raw and Smackdown world tag team titles}
Oh yeah, the roster is uniting for Wrestlemania 25. With a lack of main eventers on either one due to retirement, the WWE has split into two shows now. Smackdown cannot be one of them. The other I will reveal later. After a Dudley invasion of Raw Raw co-manager Shane McMahon sends the only two people he knows can handle them to do the job. After Edge AND Christian have won world titles; Edge in 2006, Christian in late 2007, they have been established and this match would blow the roof off. One final TLC for the ages. Maybe Matt and Jeff Hardy will show up?
Rob Van vs. Rhyno {ECW world title}
I can dream right? This is the second show I was talking about. After RVD returns in late 2005 he wins the title in an upset from John Cena and then in Shane Douglas like fashion, throws down the WWE Smackdown title and proclaims ECW a world title again. Vince steps in and banishes all ECW talent from both shows for this action and Heyman starts a third brand which in the ratings beat out Smackdown every week and rivals Raw. This stays the constant second show as Smackdown or Raw will soon be gone. I’ll explain that one later as well.
Simon Dean vs. Tajiri {ECW TV title match}
Simon Dean used to be Nova in ECW and hates it, he proclaims ECW and violence to be “unhealthy” and starts a campaign against ECW. He faces an ECW legend in Tajiri for the TV title. Simple.
Shelton Benjamin vs. Charlie Haas {WWE Intercontinental & U.S. title unification match}
Shelton keeps his IC title on Raw on and off the next 4 years. He will eventually get his world title run later in 2009. Haas holds the U.S. title on Smackdown and this creates a great match. Shelton picks up the win.
Big Show vs. Dave Batista
You see when Triple H went to Smackdown, he decided to challenge the current co-Manager of Smackdown at the future time, Stephanie McMahon. They settle it when Stephanie makes a challenge to pick anyone to face her best wrestler Batista and if he wins, HHH must leave Smackdown, if he loses, HHH can take over as co-manager of Smackdown. HHH chooses the Big Show and now that match is setup. (Batista retires soon after this match)
Chris Jericho vs. Kurt Angle {loser must retire}
This would be a legendary match that rivals the Savage/Warrior match at WM 7 even though none of them retired anyways. This would be Angle’s way to step out from wrestling with a loss to one of the greatest wrestlers of all time. Shut up, you know its true. Jericho would go on to win multiple world title on both shows throughout 2005-2008 and finishes his late career off by defeating Angle as it has been said that both of these wrestlers are actually near retirement anyways. Jericho would only be 38 at this time and still lots of life left in him, either way this would be a blockbuster match.
Randy Orton vs. John Cena {WWE Raw and Smackdown world title unification match}
Yes, this match would be huge. In addition to ECW’s success emotions blow over as John Cena who is current World champ on Raw makes it over to his former show Smackdown and talks crap to the current champion, Randy Orton. By now these guys should be larger than life, a possible Rock/Austin larger than life. Now Shane is the head of Raw and Stephanie is fighting her spot with HHH over Smackdown. It won’t matter. Smackdown will not survive as John Cena defeats Orton for both titles and for the demise of the Smackdown show. Wrestlemania 25 ends on a great note, but it is shown backstage that Vince Mcmahon, now 59 years of age has collapsed and is taken to the hospital. You can take this storyline whereever you want to go, but still a great end to Wrestlemania.
So there you have it, the future of the WWE. Am I accurate? I think I could be. Send me in your own Wrestlemania 25 predictions eith or without the retirees. I leave on that note and hopefully your imagination is racing, without that there would be no wrestling. Thanks for reading, I’m out.
HIGH SPOT TRIVIA QUESTION OF THE WEEK!!!
Who was the LAST wrestler to hold the WWF Martial Arts title?
Send me your answers! If you’re correct, you’ll feel smart!
-Joseph Bachman
http://petitiononline.com/ecw05/petition.html
322 signatures and counting…
