Full Credit: PWInsider.com
Smackdown began with a video package highlighting the prank that JBL and his cabinet played on Kurt Angle where Amy Weber tricked Angle into believing he was getting into a shower with her only to find out was Joy Giovanni, the Big Show’s “girlfriend,” instead. Of course, the prank led to an eventual beatdown on Angle at the hands of the angry giant and a good chuckle backstage by JBL and his cabinet.
Angle was shown walking backstage where he confronted the Big Show. Angle told Show he wanted to apologize to Joy. Angle said last week was one of the most embarrassing moments of his life and he was truly sorry for his actions. He said he doesn’t always say or do the right things, but he would never do something like that to her on purpose. Joy accepted Angle’s apology. The Big Show then credited Angle for his guts but said he still doesn’t like him. Show said someone else owes Joy an apology and that is JBL, and if he doesn’t get it, he said he will beat it out of him.
Smackdown’s opening video began blaring and Michael Cole welcomed us to Smackdown, emanating from the St. Petersburg Times Forum in Tampa, FL. They promoted the Man of the Year Award celebration for JBL as well as the US Title match between John Cena and Kenzo Suzuki.
Fatal Four Way Elimination Match for the WWE Tag Team Championships: Rey Mysterio & Rob Van Dam vs. Eddie Guerrero & Booker T. vs. Mark Jindrak & Luther Reigns vs. The Basham Brothers.
Van Dam and Mysterio came out first, with RVD limping noticeably on his left knee which was protected with a large brace. Eddie Guerrero came out next in a ’37 Lincoln lowrider (burnt orange and lookin’ pretty sweet). They aired footage of last week’s singles match between Rey and Eddie where Rey Mysterio got the duke for the second straight week. Eddie shook hands with both Rey and RVD. Booker T. came out next and slapped hands with fans while he made his way down the aisle. Next came Jindrak and Luther Reigns to some modest heat. And finally, the Bashams made their way to the ring, being introduced as JBL’s Secretaries of Defense by the Chimm.
Eddie and Jindrak started as Tazz and Cole put over that you don’t have to tag your partner in the match. Eddie and Jindrak hooked up and Jindrak did his narcissist hip roll thing (ala Ravishing Rick Rude). Eddie did it right back to a big pop. Jindrak hit a shoulder block and then flexed toward Eddie. Eddie applied a hammer lock into a top wristlock, but Jindrak reversed into a side headlock. They stuggled back and forth until Eddie hit a boot and a chop. Booker tagged in and hit some chops and boots. Eddie did some work in the corner pulling on Jindrak’s neck from the other side of the turnbuckle while the ref was distracted. Booker hit a standing clothesline and then a standing crescent kick. Booker hit a side slam and Eddie tagged in blind and hit a hilo for two. Eddie applied a front neck vice but Jindrak broke free and shot Eddie in for a back body drop for two. Eddie landed a dropkick and tagged in Doug Basham unexpectedly. Basham and Jindrak began brawling on the mat until Reigns came in to break it up. Basham hung Jindrak on the middle rope and Mysterio came in for a 619. Eddie rolled Basham on top of Jindrak for a three count. Jindrak and Reigns are eliminated at the six minute mark as we go to commercial.
Back from break, Rey hit a wheelbarrow into an arm drag on Doug Basham. Doug tagged in Eddie who exchanged tags back and forth with Booker in a funny spot. Eddie reluctantly came in to face Rey as Tazz and Cole acknowledged that Rey may be in the head of Eddie Guerrero. They locked up and Rey went for a snap mare but Eddie reversed into a takeover, which appeared to be a blown spot. Rey hit a tilt-a-whirl headscissors and Eddie quickly took a break from the action. Eddie hit some punches and tagged in Booker who went to work on Rey with some chops and then hit a spinebuster for two. Booker landed a forearm and shot Rey into the ropes but Rey countered with a dropkick. Booker took control again and worked Rey into his corner where Eddie and Booker began double teaming. Eddie tagged in and hit a European Upper-cut for two. Eddie applied a backbreaker submission maneuver as the fans came to life. Rey countered with an arm drag and then a monkey flip. Rey hit a springboard rana and rolled up Eddie for a three count at the fourteen minute mark. Eddie Guerrero and Booker T. are eliminated.
Doug Basham attacked Rey from behind as the match continued. He tagged in Danny who shot Rey into the ropes. Rey went for a wheelbarrow but go planted with a face buster instead. Doug pulled RVD outside and nailed him in the injured knee with the ring steps. In the ring, Danny charged Rey in the corner, but Rey moved and then checked on RVD. Back in the ring, Danny laid in some boots in the corner, tossed Rey across the ring and charged him in the corner. He went for it again, but Rey ducked out of the way. Rey went out to check on RVD again, but was threatened to be counted out. Rey went back in the ring and was met with some knees to the sternum. Rey hit a springboard crossbody for two. Rey went outside again to check on RVD. Danny suplexed Rey back into the ring for a two count. Meanwhile, security carted RVD back to the locker room as Doug Basham wrenched Rey’s head with a rear chin lock. Doug sent Rey in the corner but Rey battled back and hit a wheelbarrow into a bulldog for two. Danny landed some rights and a boot but Rey came back with a heel kick. Rey hit a tilt-a-whirl headscissors and then hit a 619 to a huge pop. Rey went for the West Coast Pop but ran into the referee as Doug moved out of the way. Meanwhile, Danny switched with Doug and hit Rey with the Baldo Bomb he used to beat RVD last week for the three count at the twenty minute mark. Your winners and new WWE Tag Team Champions … The Bashams.
JBL and the rest of the cabinet came out to celebrate with the new tag champs as we head to break.
Back from break, Michael Cole and Tazz narrated a replay of the previous events, including the injury to RVD which led to the title change.
Backstage, Josh Matthews interviewed Kenzo Suzuki and Hiroko. Hiroko told everyone that Kenzo loves America and that John Cena is what’s wrong with America. She said Cena tried to break up America’s hottest couple, not Jenn and Brad, but Hiroko and Kenzo Suzuki. She said Kenzo will beat Cena for the US title and Kenzo concurred in a hard-to-understand promo where went on about going to the White House or something. Who knows?
JBL and Orlando were backstage bragging about having all the gold when they ran into the Big Show. Big Show told JBL that he didn’t appreciate the way they treated Joy and demanded an apology or he would rip JBL’s head off. JBL offered an insincere apology first, then tried again to Show’s satisfaction. Show told Amy she should apologize too. Amy admitted that things got out of hand, but said that she thinks Joy liked being the center of attention. She then called Joy a slut which led to the cat fight of the week. Teddy Long intervened and said that Amy and Joy would settle their differences in the ring and “drop it like it’s hot” and that all parties would be barred from ringside.
We returned from commercial break with the video package from Raw that promoted the impending trip to Japan in February.
Kurt Angle vs. Roderick Strong
Kurt Angle made his way to the ring for our weekly installment of the Kurt Angle Invitational. Angle was accompanied by “police officers” guarding his gold medal. Angle congratulated JBL for manipulating Big Show into attacking him last week. Angle said that whether he beats JBL or the Big Show, his title reign will come to an end at the Royal Rumble. Angle said that just as no one has to beat JBL to win the WWE Title, no one has to beat him to win his gold medals. Angle bragged that all anyone had to do was go three minutes with him, but no one has been able to do it yet. Out came Roderick Strong who said he doesn’t know if he can last with Angle, but he knows he can do this (proceeded to slap Angle and then take off runnin’). After Strong countered Angle’s vicious attack with a rollup for two, Angle came back with some crossfaces on the mat. Strong got up and landed a right, but Angle ducked under a second attempt and hit a release German Suplex and Strong landed right on his face and chest. Angle then pulled the straps down and locked in the Ankle Lock for the tap out at a minute and a half. Your winner … Kurt Angle.
As we head to break, Cole said that the US Title match was next.
We returned from break with a great Wrestlemania Recall moment with Morten Downey Jr. in Piper’s Pit at Wrestlemania V where Piper took a fire extinguisher to Downey’s face after Downey kept blowing smoke in Piper’s face. Classic stuff!
WWE United States Championship Match: John Cena vs. Kenzo Suzuki
Kenzo came out first with Hiroko to some mild heat. John Cena came out next in his retro (and putred I might add) Tampa Bay Buccaneers uniform with Doug Williams’ number 12. Cena received a huge pop as went for the mic. Cena proclaimed that the “Champ is here!” Cena said tonight was Kenzo’s big night, the night he takes the title. Cena said Kenzo will become more American than apple pie, the White House, etc… Cena said he isn’t giving up though because his crew, the Chain Gang, is in the house tonight. Cena continued to taunt Kenzo by pandering to the crowd as Suzuki completely oversold it. He said that this (pointing to the crowd) is America and that he fights for them, just like they fight for him. Cena then went for the cheap, hometown pop and said he and the fans stick together and they’re all gonna whip Kenzo’s ass together. He ended the promo by saying if Kenzo wants some, come get some.
They lock up and Kenzo hit a knee to the gut and a chop, then worked Cena in the corner with some boots to the midsection. Cena tackled Suzuki and hit some rights of his own. Cena hit a shoulder block and then a varation bulldog/face buster. Cena did the “you can’t see me” taunt and then the Five Knuckle Shuffle Fist Drop. Cena pumped up the sneakers and hit the F-U for the three count at less than two minutes. Your winner and still US Champion … John Cena.
Cena celebrated after the match and then exited through the crowd while holding up a sign that was brought by one of the fans.
They aired a video package highlighting the live events in Orlando and Jacksonville from earlier in the week.
Backstage, Amy Weber is crying in JBL’s locker room. She said she is not a wrestler and wondered what she was going to do. JBL reassured her that she won’t have to fight. Meanwhile, Joy is lubing up as Show asked her if she was ready. She said she’s been waiting a long time for this opportunity. Show wished her luck and gave her a peck and Joy headed to ring as we go to commercial.
Back from break, they aired a highlight package from last week between Paul Heyman, Heidenreich and the Undertaker. We all know how that turned out unfortunately. Heyman got tombstoned by Taker and put in the casket for his symbolic burial. Of course, Heidenreich will face the Undertaker in a Casket Match at the Royal Rumble.
Amy Weber vs. Joy Giovanni
Amy came out looking petrified. Joy’s incredibly horrific music blared through the loud speakers but Joy was nowhere to be found. The music then hit again, but once again, there was no sign of Joy. Cole and Tazz pondered what might have happened. Referee Charles Robinson then declared that Amy was the winner of the match by forfeit. Amy suddenly was elated (and looking quite fine if I do say so) as we head back to commercial.
Returning from commercial break, WWE once again graced us with the Royal Rumble/West Side Story spoof. (I’m actually starting to warm to it in that it’s-so-stupid-it’s-funny kind of way)
Teddy Long is backstage explaining to Charles Robinson that they had to find Joy when Big Show approached Teddy and threatened him screaming that he better find her. Then, Fit Finley, Steve Keirn and the rest of security came in. Teddy gave them all their instructions, which was to find Joy and bring JBL into his office. Suddenly, Heidenreich waltzed into the office and demanded that he be taken out of the Casket Match with the Undertaker at the Royal Rumble. Teddy denied Heidenreich, much to his dismay. JBL then came in with a big smile on his face. Teddy told the champ that he believed JBL had something to do with Joy’s disappearance. Teddy told JBL he saw everything he needed to know as he looked in JBL’s eyes. Teddy then said, “now let’s talk about it” as we once again head to commercial.
Back from break, JBL has apparently explained his side of the story, saying he “knows nothing about nothing.” He said if he was going to abduct some “stupid bimbo”, he sure wouldn’t do it on a night when he is being honored. Teddy warned that he better be telling the truth or he would strip JBL of his WWE Title.
WWE Cruiserweight Title Match: Funaki vs. Nunzio
Nunzio started quickly with a knee and a slap and then a side headlock. Nunzio hit a shoulderblock, but Funaki came back with a back body drop for two, then an arm drag. Funaki worked an arm bar but Nunzio pulled the hair for a quick count. Funaki went back to the arm bar and added some elbows to the shoulder for good measure. Nunzio came back with some knees to the midsection and whipped Funaki in the corner. Funaki bounced off the turnbuckle and went for a body press but Nunzio countered with a dropkick for a two count. Nunzio pounded Funaki with some right hands on the mat. Nunzio grabbed a snap mare into a rear chin lock but Funaki worked out of it with a chin breaker and then hit a an enziguiri for two. Funaki landed some chops but Nunzio grabbed a hold and sent Funaki into the corner. Nunzio charged but Funaki caught him with a running bulldog for two. Funaki went to the ropes and went for a high cross body, but Nunzio rolled through for a two count. Funaki whipped Nunzio into the turnbuckle but Nunzio caught him going for a monkey flip. Fans began chanting “boring” as Funaki hit a Tornado DDT for the three count and the victory at the three and a half minute mark. Your winner and still WWE Cruiserweight Champion …. Funaki.
Backstage, Teddy Long confronted Carlito about spitting in Joy’s face when she refused to sign his petition. Teddy then accused Carlito of abducting Joy. Carlito said he had nothing to do with it and said that that is why he is petitioning to get rid of Teddy Long as Smackdown GM. Torrie Wilson and Miss Jackie then came into Teddy’s office and said that they saw Joy heading to the ring but someone was following her. It was Orlando Jordan. Teddy sent a lacky to go get Orlando Jordan as we head to commercial.
Back in Teddy’s office, Orlando Jordan said he admitted that he followed Joy to the ring and told her that Amy was going to kick her butt. Big Show then charged in and choked Jordan. Jordan said he had an alibi and that he had nothing to do with Joy’s disappearance. Show then threatened Jordan saying if he found out he was lying, he would break every bone in his body.
Next, they aired the Raw Rebound showing the HHH/Batista/Orton angle from the beginning of Raw. Then they showed the results of the number one contender’s match between Batista and Orton and HHH’s subsequent reaction to costing Batista the match.
Back from break, Tony Chimmel introduced B. Gordon Allensworth, the President of the Florida Agricultural Group. Allensworth then introduced JBL as the F. A. G. Man of the Year (get it … UGH!). JBL came out in his limo with all his cabinet members accompanying him. The Bashams showed off their new tag team titles. The fans were booing from the get-go as Allensworth began his rant. He said that JBL was the first to help re-plant the orange trees during the hurricane season. He then thanked him for his kindness and presented him with the 2004 Man of the Year Award to a chorus of boos from the crowd. The crowd began with a boisterous “you suck” chant as JBL and the cabinet went into Photo-Op mode. JBL grabbed the mic and said that agriculture is the backbone of America’s economy. He then pulled out his “brief” acceptance speech. JBL said that he proved wrong the theory that only women can create life. He provided a way for Floridians to live and prosper. He said he didn’t do it for himself but for that kid who wakes up every morning and wants a glass of orange juice. He said he did it for everyone who chanted his name in every breakfast room all over Florida. He continued gloating and then gave the people of Florida the opportunity to cheer him. The crowd, of course, booed him mercifully and JBL countered by saying that people in Tampa aren’t used to cheering because of their football team. JBL began to continue with his speech until Kurt Angle’s music hit. Angle told JBL to shut up and said the whole thing was a joke and so was JBL. Angle said JBL wanted none of the Big Show at the Royal Rumble so he embarrassed Joy and angered the Big Show to the point where he would take it out on Angle and then take himself out of the match by abducting Joy. Angle inquired as to what JBL was going to do to Joy. He wondered what his plan was. Angle then turned his attention to the trunk of the limo and demanded that the driver give him the keys. Angle opened the trunk and Joy was inside all tied up. Angle called for security to free her as he claimed that he knew JBL had kidnapped Joy all along. JBL started to plead that he had nothing to do with it and then the Big Show lumbered out. He checked on Joy first and then turned his angered attention toward JBL in the ring. JBL pleaded with Show, saying he had nothing to do with it. Show stalked his way toward the ring and slowly climbed through the ropes. Show single-handedly took out the entire cabinet and then began pounding on JBL. The Bashams charged from behind but received chokeslams for their efforts. Orlando Jordan low-blowed Show from behind and hit him with a chair in the back. Show no-sold the chair shot and punched the chair into Jordan’s face. Show chokeslammed Jordan and started pummeling him on the mat with chair shots. Show’s music hit as Show glared at JBL and Amy Weber who were hiding in the crowd. Meanwhile, Angle and his cohorts had a good laugh backstage as they watched on the monitor. Apparently, they had set up JBL to get even from last week. Angle, Jindrak and Reigns walked off as lights faded to black.
Thoughts from RR: Much better effort this week. The tag match was a lot of fun and everyone worked hard. Of course, the news about RVD is quite the bummer. The Angle Invitational was at least mildly entertaining this week but I’d still like to see some semblance or clue that WWE actually has a plan with this angle going forward. The Joy Giovanni abduction angle and the back-and-forth pranks between the heels in the title feud continue to be entertaining, but I still don’t see it putting heat on the title, and that is what should be stressed as being most important heading into the Royal Rumble. Funaki as Cruiserweight Champion equals boredom to me, but at least they’re airing CW title matches on Smackdown, even if they are way too short. As for the Cena/Kenzo match, it seems pretty clear to me that WWE realizes Kenzo is limited and very green with the way he has been booked against Cena, which begs the question … why put him there in the first place? Oh well, as Richard Trionfo indicated in his excellent live report, at least we didn’t have to sit through a Heidenreich match this week.
