Hello and welcome once again to The Trademark Rants. This past week, your truly has FINALLY gained Internet Access via Broadband Cable, as well as a long overdue memory upgrade, which has improved the speed and efficiency of just about everything I do on this outdated piece of prehistoric junk I call my computer. No longer would I be shackled down by slow download times and near-endless loading times! Now, I can surf the ‘Net at almost respectable speeds, making it easier to wade through all of the news and rumors on this very website! Too bad Vince McMahon is right about the ‘Net being way too negative… Then again, maybe if he actually WATCHED his product from time to time, he might realize why we’re so damn negative about his crap on the ‘Net. But hey, what do I know? I’ve only watched one WWE show in its entirety since September, after all. Who am I to say how bad WWE is sucking these days?
Perhaps, McMahon and the boys at WWE have gotten their act together and stopped shoving Triple H and JBL down our throats. Wait, they’re still both champions? And they’re still both pushed to the moon, as if they really needed it? And there’s still no major babyface on either Raw or SmackDown receiving a similar push to the moon in order to balance out the show and counter-act the major heels on each show? What do you mean “Randy Orton”? Randy Orton got buried two weeks after he won the World Title, and for what? So Triple H could, once again, get his push to the moon? News Flash – H doesn’t NEED that belt to get over. Triple H is more than over, he’s a god on Raw. And we all get the point, too. He’s that damn good. He’s the game. He’s the best at what he does. You know what? So is Wolverine, and he doesn’t need to be the center of attention or carry around a big shiny gold belt to prove it. And given, Wolverine is a fictional character, but so is Triple H. Wrestling is rigged, remember?
WWE needs Main Event Babyfaces, period. They need to push a face the way they push Triple H and JBL and actually allow a good guy to hold the same standing of near dominance as all the major bad guys. Keep in mind, people don’t pay to see antagonists, they pay to see heroes, and nowadays, WWE has about as many heroes as they have condos on mars. And, just so you know, there are no condos on mars. And for the smart-ass who’ll bring up Randy Orton or Eddie Guerrero, let me ask you this – If these two are getting the superman pushes you say they are, then how come Orton dropped the World Title two weeks after he won it at SummerSlam? And how come the best role Eddie Guerrero can get these days is in an over-extended feud with Kurt Angle that should have ended months ago, which plays second fiddle to JBL and Booker T, neither of which have enough heat to carry any sort of respectable Main Event? If Orton and Guerrero are the heroes I have to look up to defeat the evil overlords of the WWE, then we might as well change the channel, because they ain’t gonna do it anytime soon.
I guess the argument, at least in the case of Randy Orton, is that WWE may be building up towards a Triple H/Randy Orton Main Event for WrestleMania, which could actually be pretty cool. My major objection to the way WWE has brought about this feud is the speed and ease in which H reclaimed the World Title. Two weeks after Randy wins the title, H destroys him at Unforgiven. Two weeks later. Two weeks. And I keep saying two weeks for a reason. Sting has had longer title reigns than this. STING. And Sting is famous for having some of the shortest title reigns in wrestling history. Well, him, Kane, and Tommy Dreamer, but you might not necessarily know about Dreamer’s short title reign… Anyway, back to the subject at hand, Orton’s run was killed off early, and of course, the ‘Net blames Orton because… I have no idea. When RVD got buried by H two years ago at the very same event, you all blamed H. When Kane was forced to lose his mask after being buried by H, you blamed H. When Booker T had to lose at WrestleMania XIX via a desperation Pedigree, and still got pinned despite the fact that H took nearly a minute to cover Booker T afterwards, you all blamed H. So when H steamrolls over Orton, the ‘Net blames Orton’s supposed lack of heat? The guy just turned face two weeks prior, and you expect him to have Austin-Like heat already? Yeah, right! It takes at least a month to establish someone as a face or a heel. That’s 4-5 TV shows before a character is “set” as a good guy or a bad guy. The only performers who have instant heat when they turn are the ones who are solidly established franchise players, like Hulk Hogan, Steve Austin, and The Rock, who all had major heel turns after they were established franchise heroes for several years. This kind of “instant heat” is rare, and if you’re expecting some up-and-coming Main Eventer to have instant heat, you might want to buy a ticket out of Fantasyland and join the rest of us here in the Real World.
Then, there’s Eddie Guerrero, who in 2003 unexpectedly became WWE’s biggest star. How did that happen? Good question. I’m not sure how it happened either, but WWE capitalized on it by giving Eddie the WWE Title and a Main Event match against Kurt Angle at WrestleMania XX, and did so at the expense of Brock Lesnar. WWE had spent the previous two years forcing Brock upon the fans, trying to position him as “The Next Big Thing” for the WWE. The problem is that fans hate to be dictated to. They hate to be told what to do or how to react (thus explaining the animosity between WWE and the Internet, the general lack of fans’ interest in the WWE Product, and, in many ways, the growth of TNA). The fans, though, chose Eddie Guerrero, and despite the fact that WWE tried everything they could to KEEP Eddie heel, fans still cheered for him anyway, the way they once cheered Austin despite all of McMahon’s efforts to keep Austin a bad guy. So, seeing the fan reaction, WWE made the right choice and gave the people what they wanted – Eddie Guerrero, WWE Champion. But what’s become of Eddie since then? Well, he was replaced, and WWE decided to dictate to us a new star, a villain named John Bradshaw Layfield. WWE has pushed JBL so hard that they have seemingly forgotten Eddie, the one the fans chose to be their hero, and they have since then struggled to find a proper hero to dethrone JBL as the WWE Champion. As of this writing, there seems to be no real plans on putting Eddie back into the title picture, nor has the WWE fans christened a new hero to take down the villain WWE has dictated to us. Booker T had his chance at WrestleMania XIX, and RVD had his chance at Unforgiven 2002. They tried, and they got stomped by the Almighty H, so why would any fan have a reason to put their faith in Booker T or RVD? And who in their right mind actually believes Bob Holly’s going to get the job done? I sure as hell don’t. We chose Eddie Guerrero for a reason, you know! We want Eddie, Vince! The more, the better!
Well, anyway, I’m going to get back to surfing the we on my new Broadband connection. Remember, TNA Impact (Friday Afternoons on Fox Sports Net. Check your local listings for time and station) is a much better show than Raw or SmackDown and the folks at WWE don’t actually hate you. They hate ME. There’s a big difference… If you have any comments, questions, or anything else you’d like to share, feel free to write me at TheMaverickMJ@yahoo.com. Thanks for reading, and feel free to come back again for another installment of The Trademark Rants!
