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Joy To The World!
The Rage has come
And RAW recieves a grade!
Let every fan,
Prepare themselves.
Cause Trips is Champ again!
Cause Trips is Champ again!
Yes Trips, yes Trips is Champ AGAIN!
What a load.
I sat through that 3-hour pile of dung they called a Pay Per View and they threw out some of the stupidest crap I have ever seen!
Booker T wins. Yeah, okay fine. Sloppy match, but it was the opener.
Orton wins clean and I was expecting that anyway.
Christian wins by pinning Trish and Jericho has bouts with whether he wants to save her or not? Please. This is a Pay Per View (meaning, I’m PAYING for it) – turn or don’t. I’m not PAYING to find out what happens next on RAW. I’m not shelling out $35 to see a commercial for something I can get for free. If your going to do it – DO IT WHEN I’M PAYING FOR IT INSTEAD OF STEALING FROM ME!
HBK beats Batista??? What the? Come on! Do the retards that come up with this stuff actually think they can BUILD A MONSTER by jobbing him out to a guy that hasn’t been able to wrestle a full schedule in over five years? I don’t CARE if Shawn Michaels is a legend or not. It doesn’t HURT him to lose! But it makes Batista look FREAKING TERRIBLE if he can’t pin an old man that RANDY ORTON has pinned TWICE! If you have to shmozz it up to appease the “golden boy’s” ego, fine – but it’s just plain STUPID to have a young guy that your building lose like that.
The Dudley’s win the Tag Team Turmoil match but then LOSE BY AN IMPROPTU MATCH TO BATISTA AND FLAIR??? What? Did they just come up with all of this five FREAKING MINUTES before the fireworks went off to start the show? You spend a MONTH building a young team in Cade and Jindrak only to job them out to that perversely boring Dudley team – then take the titles and put them on a team that has ZERO BUILD UP??? Now there’s a good idea.
And the capper – Triple H, who hasn’t even been around long enough to say, “Boo” for the past month pins Goldberg – THE CHAMPION THAT CAN ACTUALLY DRAW! What – did Trips DEMAND to get that return job tonight? I swear with all that is in me – if Trippers doesn’t lose that title tonight to either Kane or Goldberg – I’m giving RAW a ZERO and I don’t care if they bring Bret Hart back tonight and make him wrestle Flair.
Can you tell I didn’t enjoy PAYING MONEY FOR THAT CRAP?
And the current RAW Rage Champion agrees with me. Remember, I told you that any email that comes my way is now under consideration for the title. So, I was talking with Steve W about the PPV today, and he sent me this:
I was thinking the same thing as you about HHH losing the belt tonight. I
can’t think of a better time to turn him face if that’s what they’re going
to do. It’s perfect, Evolution has all the belts now and if Trips loses
his, they can say he dropped the ball and beat him down, which would also
explain his absence during the time he’s off making movies. But that might
make too much sense so it might just stay on him until at least Mania.
Yep, that would make for a good RAW. I would still be mad that I paid for the steaming pile PPV last night, but it would make it easier to deal with. So, congrats Steve. You retain your title. Go visit his blog site here and if you want to be considered for the RAW Rage Championship – then you can do one of two things. Either Email Me here or, if you are reading this on Salty Ham Wrestling, you will see that you can post comments after this article. Every post will also be considered. Do it.
Wow – for the first time, I feel like we’ve lived up to our name – RAW RAGE
Lets get to this.
RAW Rage #25
RAW IS GETTING A ZERO IF HHH IS STILL CHAMPION AFTER TONIGHT (I’m sure Vince and Co are shaking in their boots)
12/15/03
Live from Tampa, FL. I have nothing cute to say…except that the Bucs stink this year…but they won the Super Bowl last year, so you can’t really knock them.
-No SNG tonight. The wife was watching the end of Armageddon since she went to bed before it was over.
-Evolution is out with all of their gold. Trips brags about it too. Trippers is the game and Goldy is all hype. The new Golden Rule is: “We have all the gold – so we make all the rules.” Yeah, okay.
-Music – pyro – we see that Trips has a 6-man tag tonight. Well, we know this show is getting a zero.
-Trish/Lita vs. Christian/Jericho. That’s right! You paid for it last night – but nothing happened. So, tonight we’ll do it all over again and something WILL happen! For free! And if you were silly enough to buy the show last night, you’ve been robbed. Ugh. Anyway, Jericho won’t fight Trish – but Christian will. Jericho will fight Lita, though and does. Some guy has an “I’m Not Here” sign and that’s funny. Lita botches a moonsault and bangs into Christian and looks like she got hurt, legit. Christian gives Trish the unprettier but Jericho pulls him off and tells the ref that they forfeit. Christian gets all up in his face and Jericho pushes him down. Then Bischoff comes out and he’s upset at Jericho for ruining the match. Chris goes all face and tells Bisch. off (get it…Bisch – Off. HAHAHA Roland Rulz!). Jericho never wanted this match to happen. Bischoff (hahaha) tells Jericho that if he doesn’t want to fight a girl, he can fight Kane tonight. Jericho leaves unhappy. Bischoff then calls out Foley, but we go to commercial.
-After the break, Foley finally comes out and gets a mic and talks about his petition. He still wants Austin back on RAW. He has called a meeting 2 weeks from now with the board and Austin will be there too. They will both plead Austin’s case. But Bischoff believes that Foley is a disappointment to the fans. They only love him as a wrestler and shows a video to prove it (and it’s a great video too). Bischoff knows the people want to see Foley: The Hardcore Legend and Active Wrestler. Foley says he’s been thinking about returning – but will only do so when he wants to. But Bischoff has a proposition to make. He wants a Foley vs. Orton match tonight and if Orton wins – then Foley is gone forever. But if Foley wins – he will quit the WWE. Mick doesn’t agree unless he can have Earl Hebner as ref and Evolution and Bischoff are barred from ringside. Eric agrees. Foley then makes the match a title match.
-Ross almost strokes out from excitement of Foley returning to the ring.
-Booker T/Maven vs. Henry/Hardy. It’s still weird for me to see Matt on RAW. I hear his entrance and I think SmackDown. Booker pins Matt Hardy – not much of a match here.
-Coach is about to interview Goldberg…next.
-Coach tries to walk into Godly’s room but gets the door shut on him. So, Coach walks in the room and gets murdered.
-La Resistance comes out and Renee makes fun of the Rock. They don’t like that Rocky called them “fi fi.” They pledge to support Orton against Foley. Then out comes a ticked off Goldberg. He murders the two Frenchys for fun. Then Bischoff comes out and is mad. He tells Goldy that he has been deactivated for 30 days. You can imagine how that went over.
-JR goes for a record amount of strokes about the Goldberg situation. Dude – calm down.
-Foley talks to HBK about coming back and if it’s worth it. HBK tells him it is. Foley gets his flannel and gets ready.
-They show Clinton Portis getting a World Title Belt on the sidelines of a Bronco’s game. Cause this is my United States of WHATEVER!
-RVD/HBK vs. Batista/Flair/HHH. Goldberg was supposed to be in this match, but he’s been deactivated. At what I thought was going to be the end of the match, RVD got the 5-star on Batista but the ref was bumped and Trips got the pedigree on him. Then he tried to revive the ref for a Batista victory but RVD kicked out. Then Flair got his figure four on RVD as we went to another commercial. When they came back, the match went on and on and on and on. Finally, HBK gets the Sweet Chin Music on Trips and pins him. What is this? Another belt push for the old man?
-BODy Slam of the Week: Rico beating Jon H on Heat.
-Rico vs. Jon H. Heh, a nice “boring” chant heats up. Anyway, Jackie interfered and Jon gets pinned by Rico. Good.
-Jericho knocks on Trish’s door. She comes out and tells him she doesn’t want to see him ever again.
-Jericho vs. Kane. 2nd funny sign: “Kane Killed My Dog.” Hahaha. Not a bad match, but Jericho uses a chair and gets Dqed. Then Kane goes monster on him and smashes Jericho. Christian comes out to check on him and has him to his feet when Christian pushes him down again. A little revenge.
-Recap of RAW stars going to visit an Air Force Base.
-Bischoff talks to Orton. They talk strategy, but then Bischoff talks about the rumors floating around that Orton is all potential and nothing of substance. That fires Orton up.
-The RAW Job Squad tells Foley good luck. Foley tells HBK that in two weeks it will be him vs HHH for the title.
-Orton vs. Foley (IC Title and more). Foley comes out and seems unsure of himself. Then he walks to the back and Orton trails. Foley goes back to his office and gets his things and Bischoff runs up and tells him that if he leaves – the rules stand. Randy meets up with Foley and is wondering what is up. Then he calls Mick a coward and spits in his face. Foley wipes it, but walks out anyway. Show over.
What an odd show. It gets a 0 out of 10 and you all know why.
Don’t forget – next week is a “Best of 2003 RAW.” So, we will have a “Best of 2003 RAW Rage.” It will be special. Email me your favorite RAW Rage moments over the past 6 months and they might be included. Either that or post below this article (if you are reading on Salty Ham).
More Roland – right this way…
Let me say first off that I really did mean to do a Newsletter this week. You see, the wife and I went out of town and I thought I would have enough time and energy to do one when I got back. I was wrong. Oh so wrong. So, let me apologize to all of you and let you know that aside from Christmas shopping, a work meeting, and going to see “Return of the King” – I have nothing to do this weekend! Chances are good that you’ll get one. So, why not sign up for the TBL Newsletter and you’ll get something this week. Honest.
Next up on my list is the TWW. Like Spiderman? Can’t wait for the next one? Well, the best I can do for you is provide you with the trailer for number 2. Now, I have DSL and this took me a while to download – so that will actually be your time-wasting part. So, click here – it’s worth the wait.
If you are really into doing something after you finish reading this – then why not hop on over and check out my boy Jay? You remember Jay, right? He’s that guy that used to win RAW Rage Championships every week. Well, dude went and impressed me enough to give him his own column on Salty Ham. And now he writes a weekly column that you can read by clicking on this link: It’s called Turnbuckle Tirade. Props to Jay – he’s a good guy. And like I always say, good things come for the RAW Rage Champion.
Okay – enough. I tire of you all.
Roland
