~~~~~THE TBL NEWSLETTER~~~~~
Volume 3, Issue 8
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Official Newsletter of:
The Balrog’s Lair
”Still an Internet Original!”
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Preface
Hey there, boys and girls.
It’s No Mercy week and that can only mean one thing! A Newsletter chalked full of news, columns, predictions, and fun. Although many in the wrestling community seem to be bashing this upcoming PPV, we at the TBL Newsletter…well…we’re doing it too. But we do it with a smile on our face! Just kidding, folks. Wrestling is fun and if you decide to lay down your hard earned dollars this Sunday – I hope it’s a great show for you.
I also want to officially welcome Jay as a regular columnist in our Newsletter! Jay is a regular contributor to RAW Rage and the TBL Forums and now gets an exclusive column in the Newsletter. Way to work up the food chain Jay! Look for his column Jay Strikes Back each and every week in the TBL Newsletter.
Enjoy the fun, everyone!
Roland G, Editor-in-Chief
rolandg77@sbcglobal.net
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Hogan Attacked by Jarett in Japan
Hulk Hogan was attacked while addressing the local media by Jeff Jarett that all but confirms Hogan’s signing with NWA:TNA. Hogan was having a post match press conference after defeating Masa Chrono in a New Japan Tokyo Dome Show when Jarett showed up and nailed him with a guitar, leaving him bloody. Jarett was reported as saying that he heard Hogan wanted to come to TNA and that TNA just came to him. Of course, this was a work that signifies the beginning of Hogan’s run in NWA:TNA. After Jarett left, Chrono, Hogan’s opponent that night, said that he would help Hogan get back at Jarett, although it is not known whether that was something to say while the press was around or if there are any plans to bring him stateside. The attack was broadcast on Wednesday’s NWA:TNA Pay Per View. (Credit Rajahwwf and TBL)
New Japan – NWA:TNA Partnership?
Hulk Hogan and Jimmy Hart seem to be trying to act as a go-between for NWA:TNA and New Japan. As reported above, it was in a New Japan show that Jeff Jarett attacked Hulk Hogan after a match which will lead to Hogan’s TNA appearances. New Japan has been trying desperately to build a partnership with TNA, as they have some value in the pay-per-view arena in the United States. There is a rumored plan for more cross promotion between the two federations in the coming months. The only thing that might hold something like this back is TV-Asahi, the parent television network of New Japan. They hold all the television rights to New Japan and every time the federation has tried to run a show or pay-per-view in the states, TV-Asahi has demanded obscene amounts of money for the right to air their property. More on this as it develops. (Credit Prowrestling.com)
The First NWA:TNA DVD Now Available
The Best of the NWA:TNA DVD was made available to the public this week. Matches include:
– Ron Killings vs. Jeff Jarrett
– Jeff Jarrett vs. A.J. Styles
– Jeff Jarrett vs. Raven
– Jeff Jarrett vs. Styles
– A.J. Styles vs. D-Lo Brown
– New Church vs. AMW
– AMW vs. Triple X
– Triple X vs. Jerry Lynn & Amazing Red
– Triple X vs. A.J. Styles & D’Lo Brown
– Triple X vs. AMW (Cage Match)
The DVD also includes interviews with Sting. NWA:TNA also plans to release DVD’s featuring the X Division and the Fed’s Bloodiest Brawls later this year. (Credit nwatna.com)
Rock Movie News
Variety is reporting that The Rock has signed on to star in “Instant Karma,” a New Line Cinema production. The film follows the story of a safecracker (played by The Rock) who dies and is reincarnated in a series of different animals as he moves his way up the food chain. Pierce Brosnan, Mira Sorvino, David Alan Grier and Eartha Kitt have all been signed to appear in the film Burt Reynolds, Dom DeLuise, Gene Wilder have signed on to voice the animals in the film. The film is set to begin production in New Orleans in April 2004.
The Rock Speaks on Retirement
Channelnewsasia.com sat down with The Rock for an interview. When he was asked about a retirement from pro wrestling, he said:
“I look forward to being challenged as an actor, but I love going back to the ring to have fun with the fans. That interaction, I love. So, I can honestly say I don’t think I’ll officially retire. I don’t want to be one of those guys who retires and then three months later says ‘I’m back!”
WWE Changes Plans With Kane
It had been reported that Kane was set to have a run at Goldberg and the World Title, but it seems those plans have changed. Kane will likely feud with Triple H when he returns. It has been reported before that HHH plans to have a face turn and Kane will be his likely opponent. Until then, expect to see more of the Shane McMahon/Kane feud. (Credit 1wrestling)
Injury Updates
Rodney Mack went for an MRI on his knee this past week and the results were not good. It seems he will have to miss around four months.
Test, who’s foot was broken in two places at a house show against Shane McMahon (the footage aired on RAW) got good news from the doctor. It seems he will only be out for around four weeks. The original thought was that he would be out for around 6-8 weeks. (Credit 1Wrestling.com)
Vince Russo Leaving NWA:TNA
Vince Russo will be leaving NWA:TNA as soon as Hulk Hogan shows up. The two absolutely hate each other and Hogan refuses to work with him. The evidence of this was seen in a segment of the TNA ppv this past week where Jarret destroyed Russo so as to explain his absence for quite some time. It is not known at this time whether or not Russo will return to NWA after Hogan’s stay or not. (Credit The Torch)
Kevin Nash to Face Surgery
It appears that Kevin Nash will have to undergo neck surgery in a few weeks. He is to have a similar surgery that Kurt Angle received earlier this year. He will need six to eight weeks of recovery time.
With this in mind, the WWE has had to make major changes to its main event plans for Survivor Series. The original plan was to have Nash face Goldberg and be revealed as the “mystery man” trying to take him out, but those plans have to be scrapped. It now seems the WWE will go with a Triple H vs. Goldberg match at the November PPV, right before Triple H takes another extended leave to shoot his movies. (Credit 1wrestling)
WWE Faces Fine Over No Mercy Match
In a bizarre story, it seems that the Maryland State Athletic Commission (Maryland is the site of No Mercy) has a rule on the books that prohibits men vs. women wrestling matches in their state (along with matches involving blood, chairs, and tables). It seems that the commission has contacted the WWE and told them that they will be fined $2000 if the match takes place. It has also been reported that the WWE has told the State Athletic Commission that they will have a check ready for them, but are going to proceed with the match as planned. (credit prowrestling.com)
RVD Contract Talks Not Going Well
The WWE has been in negotiations with Rob Van Dam about extending his current contract, but it is reported that talks have not been going very well. RVD has been very vocal about his discontent with the way the WWE has used him in the past year and it seems the WWE is trying to send a message to him that they are wanting to do things with him by giving him the Intercontinental Title. (Credit prowrestling.com)
Stu Hart Passes Away
On Thursday of this week, Stu Hart, father of Brett and Owen Hart, passed away at the age of 88 from complications of pneumonia. Hart had been hospitalized for an elbow infection before contracting pneumonia. (Credit 1wrestling)
The thoughts and prayers of the TBL Staff goes out to the Hart family.
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Jay Strikes Back!
By: Jay
I’m back again to give you my fresh takes on the world of rasslin’. What a week it was, Solid Raw with a lackluster smackdown heading into the PPV. Let’s skip the bull and jump right into it.
The Good:
RAW: The return of the BOOOOKERMAN! He got a big pop and looked really good. This week was the first time I actually didn’t mind seeing La Resistance come out. The whole setup of that 8-man tag was great as was the match.
Flair was the man, cutting promos all over.
Jericho saving Trish was about the most Heelish thing that he could do to Austin. Alot of people are confused thinking Jericho is turning face, but that was a direct shot at Austin. I’ve enjoyed this feud with Jericho doing whatever he wants while Austin can’t do a thing, this latest bit adds fuel to the fire. Hopefully an Austin one time only return to the ring is in the works.
Smackdown: Hopefully on Smackdown, we will have the end to this Steph/Vince feud for good.
The Bad:
RAW: Kane segment via satellite. Why the hell did they set up an interview when Kane wasn’t going to talk? If this was to go through as initially planned with Coach…
Coach: So Kane what’s your status?
Kane: Beep, Beep.
Coach: I’m glad to hear that, when can we expect to see the return of the Big Red Machine?
Kane: Beep, Beep, Beep,….., Beep, Beep.
Coach: Ok then, Blah blah blah Shane blah blah blah
Kane: BEEP, BEEP, BEEP.
TV at it’s best.
Smackdown: Nidia freaking out, thank god the ALCS was on, I wanted to throw a rock at her.
UGLY: RAW: Rosey skits, cheesy and not funny.
One word, Smackdown:
Umm this is tough smackdown really sucked. My favorite wrestler Albert was on the show. Umm…Errr…The McMahon’s weren’t the entire show at least. I really tried to think of something positive.
Weakest Smackdown I have ever seen, maybe something crazy will happen at the PPV and change of the direction of the show. Bad promo’s, lackluster matches, not really the way to get me to put down phat cash for the PPV.
Lates!
Jay
Email Jay Here!
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Eddie’s Rundown
WRESTLER OF THE WEEK — Booker T
After a tough recovery from his injury, The Book-Man made his return to RAW and was the reason for plenty of applause from the WWE fans.
MATCH OF THE WEEK — Booker T, Shane McMahon, Dudleyz vs. Jericho, Christian, La Resistance (Tables Match from RAW)
In Booker T’s return, he teamed up with the Dudleyz and Shane-O-Mac to bring a much needed heated action to RAW! I found that match very entertaining and full of energy. The spots were booked great, and all wrestlers looked very excited and interested in being in the bout.
SHOW OF THE WEEK – RAW
For the first time since the beginning of this section, RAW gets this spot. I definitely feel that this week’s RAW was a step forward for WWE, where their Monday brand is concerned. While it wasn’t the best show ever, it was at least slightly better than recent showings. SmackDown leads me to the…
DISAPPOINTMENT OF THE WEEK – SmackDown
Wow. The McMahon are able to build great things, but they’re very good at putting them down as well. SmackDown, which was definitely the better show as of late, has once again gone back to the burner as it has been filled with more McMahon air-time, as well as only a couple good matches this week. It was the last show before the No Mercy PPV so I expected way more from the brand than what they offered.
PROGRESS OF THE WEEK — John Heidenreich
He was actually on both RAW and SmackDown this past week! Who was he? The tall, built guy who gave a videotape, put by himself (Big John) and a character we’ve come to known as “Little Johnny.” I don’t know about you, but Big John is one of my favorites already! He’s just hilarious and very good at his role! Of course, it’ll be immature to say he’s all that without even seeing him in the ring, but so far, he’s had several lines to deliver to several superstars, and he’s done a tremendous job. I’m looking forward to finding out more about Big John, as well as… Little Johnny.
TOPIC OF THE WEEK — Bound for Glory
The news of this week (well, mostly last week) was definitely the Hogan signing with TNA. Their event on November 30 — Bound for Glory — promises to be entertaining. Or does it? Share your thoughts here:
http://www.thebalrogslair.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=63&st=0&
FINAL THOUGHTS OF THE WEEK
It was a rather weird week. RAW was a good show in my book, and I enjoyed watching it. SmackDown disappointed me big this week for whatever reason. I just felt that at times the matches were even boring, it was that bad! At any rate, my apologies for not getting N & A up this week, but yours truly can’t catch a break! I’ve been sick this whole past week, which prevented me from doing so. I will have an N & A before No Mercy, you can count on that! Have a good weekend!
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“ROUNDING THE SQUARED CIRCLE”
“FOR $35 YOU CAN BUY A McMAHON-A-THON OR A ROOM AT MOTEL 6”
OR
“I’D LIKE A ROOM WITH A VIEW OF THE RR TRACKS PLEASE”
VISIT MY HOME PAGE: http://members.aol.com/samjerry
Seems like just last month we had a PPV. Can it be that time already? Time really flies when you’re having fun. In order to juice this one up, The Emperor is going to fight The Princess, in a Battle To The Death (of the wallet, anyway). Sounds like an old Flash Gordon Episode, with Emperor Ming, The Merciless doing his worst and his sweet, innocent daughter Princess What’s-Her-Name, risking her life for all that is good and pure (OK, so Stephanie isn’t all that pure) That was then, this is now. The only thing that changes is the names … and the price of a ticket. Let’s see what goodies are planned for our viewing pleasure:
Matthew Hardy, of The North Carolina Hardy’s, and Beloved of Lita, The Good v. The only one legged wrestler this side of Mongolia, Zach Gowen: A typical battle of evil v. good. How can anyone root against a man who has survived a War v. Godzilla? However, should Matthew lose this match, he will qualify for a spot among the ranks of The Snowman’s Job Squad. It wasn’t that long ago that Matthew was a Tag Team Champion, now he’s in line to pick up the jocks in the locker room … should he lose. He wont. Even The Emperor wouldn’t do that to him.
Canadian Crybaby No. 2 v. The Walking Hairbag: The Hairbag has been in the Cross Face so many times, he now sleeps with his stuffed bear having one on him. The only problem with that is Mrs. Hairbag can’t figure out which one is which, and sometimes wakes the bear for breakfast. The Emperor thought about having The Hairbag shave himself, but changed his mind when he found out he would be left with a 135 pound Before character in a Charles Atlas Ad. When will The WWE realize The Hairbag has less of a chance of getting over than a guy who slips Ex-Lax into the chocolate pudding at his brother-in-laws wedding.
Cruiserweight Championship pitting The Great Muta (masquerading as Tajiri) (C) v. Fay Wray Mysterio: The Green &/or Red Mist v. The San Diego Area Code. Things we are guaranteed to see in this match: The Tarantula; A Mist Spewing; A stopped-in-the-middle and a delivered Area Code; and more kicks than a mule who ate one of MaMa Guerrero’s Tamales. If allowed to, these two could put on a match well worth watching. Will that actually happen? Only The Shadow Knows (I’m stuck in a 1940’s time warp). Let’s see: Heads, it’s The Mist; Tails, it’s The Pop. The toss is up, it’s on it’s way down, I’ll be damned, it’s standing on end. It’s a Mexican Stand- Off. What the F do I do now? I’ve got it … Mexican Stand-Off, so it must be Fay Wray.
In an I Quit Match, The Emperor (Ming II) v. The Not-So-Pure Princess: If The Emperor loses, he gives up as Chairman of The WWE; If the sullied Princess Loses, she gives up her job as SmackDown General Manager. This almost sounds like a perfect way to split up Stone Cold Beer Guy (SCBG) and Good Old Eric (GOE). I don’t think that’s going to happen. As a father, I can’t imagine myself fighting with one of my daughters, however, I am not The Emperor. His motto is “Anything For A Dollar,” which also happened to be Larry, Larry and Daryl’s motto on one of the old Bob Newhart Shows (I just progressed into the ’80’s – at this rate I’ll be back in 2003 by the next PPV). Since neither can afford to lose their jobs, there obviously can’t be a winner in this match, right? Wrong! The Sullied Princess will win with some outside help, giving The Emperor an out, and thereby a way to lose and keep his Title.
The Whiteboy From The Hood v. Our American Olympic Hero: Thug-O-Nomics v. White Bread. The rapping white boy (formerly known as The Prototype) is one of The WWE’s future stars. He has all it takes to be Champion, but not just yet. Although he can’t rap any better than the Valedictorian of Harvard Law, Our Hero can kick ass and take names. This could be the best match on the card. Can you say “Chain and Lock?” Thug-O-Nomics will go with the old “Lock To The Head” routine, but will end up tapping out. If this match were a year or two from now and Our Hero was ready to call it quits, The Lock would prevail.
United States Championship pitting MaMa Guerrero’s Favorite Thief, Eddie Guerrero (C) vs. The Big Slow: Slow is still reeling from the juiced up Taco he ate. I understand he doesn’t dare go more than 10 feet from a toilet. In the meantime, Eddie has scored three Camaro’s, a T-Bird and a pair of In-Line Skates that he “found” lying around a playground. Eddie will have dinner at MaMa’s and breathe on Slow. That’s enough to stop a herd of charging elephants. Eddie will win by a burp, a release of intestinal gas and a shot to the head with the bumper off a 1965 Ford Fairlane.
The WWE Championship – In A Biker Chain Match, Godzilla (C) Faces The Undertaker. The Taker will use the chain to both clear Godzilla’s sinuses and garrote him. This wont be match for the faint hearted (Michael Cole, you’ve been warned). Blood will be spilled by both gladiators. The Taker will have one more run with The Title before he, Sara and their baby ride off to that big roundup in North Dakota, but just not yet. Godzilla broke his onions getting the Title back, so losing it now is not in the cards. I can see five years down the line at Wrestlemania XXV: The Main Event will be Godzilla v. Thug-O-Nomics.
Damn! I shot right past 2003 and into 2008. You’ll have to excuse me while I go and get the Stock Market Listings, Lottery Numbers, Racing Results, etc. You think Bill Gates is rich? I’m going to make him look like a pauper. I’m outta here.
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Roland’s Brother Handicaps No Mercy
As is our custom at the TBL Newsletter, my brother will make his UNQUESTIONED predictions for the Smackdown PPV on Sunday. Take it away, bro:
Roland keeps asking me for these picks, even though I’m never right. I also can’t believe we’re all going to spend $35 to watch the same matches wewatch for free on UPN. But, anyway here goes:
1. Benoit over A-Train. Poor Crippler, he’s always in these matches that mean absolutely nothing. Benoit pins him.
2. Gowen over Hardy. Zach Gowen is on my fantasy wrestling team. I don’t pick against my guys.
3. Tajiri over Mysterio. I hate going against the masked wonder but I have a feeling someone will interfere and screw Rey over. Tajiri keeps the belt.
4. Cena over Angle. This match could go either way but I think Cena needs the win more than Angle so Angle will put him over. Best Match of the night!
5.Eddie over the Big Slow. Eddie lies, cheats, and steals his way to victory and everyone loves him for it.
6. Father over Daughter in the who cares I mean I quit match, Dad will win so Steph can get some time off to get hitched to the new Conan.
7. Brock wins the Biker Chain match and he should win it clean. Taker should put in a good match. I’m hoping someone interesting interferes but I could not begin to guess who!
Have fun and enjoy the show!
That’s it, I’m out…
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Denouement
Another Newsletter has come to a close, but that doesn’t mean your wrestling experience has to end! No, no, quite the contrary. Why not head on over to TBL this weekend and enjoy the great No Mercy Coverage we have there? We should have a No Mercy Roundtable up soon, so keep checking to see what us “experts” think about the PPV.
But there is so much more to enjoy. You might enjoy Chris Vining’s How It All Began; or maybe our own Shawn Stinson’s I Give Up. Of course, I’m always hanging around to annoy all of you with things like Smackdown Rage, complete with all new features.
Always tune into TBL for all your wrestling needs.
Peace.
Roland G
rolandg77@sbcglobal.net
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