~~~~~THE TBL NEWSLETTER~~~~~
Volume 3, Issue 8
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Official Newsletter of:
The Balrog’s Lair
”Still an Internet Original!”
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Forward
We’re back!
Let me first say that I’m sorry about last week. I usually try my best to be dependable when it comes to these things, but situations beyond my control kept me from being able to finish the Newsletter last week. I hope you didn’t miss us too bad.
Second, you will notice that we don’t have the Two Sheds Review this week. It seems that Julian is very under the weather and unable to write. He is unsure when he will be back, but we at the TBL Newsletter want to send him our good thoughts and hope that he gets better soon.
Well, I guess that’s all for now. Glad to be back. I’ll get to the plugs and stuff at the end.
Oh, and happy belated birthday to Eddie.
Roland G, Editor-in-Chief
rolandg77@sbcglobal.net
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Hogan to NWA:TNA
Much has been reported about Hulk Hogan’s move to appear at a NWA:TNA PPV slated for 11/3. From all indications, Hogan has not signed a long term deal. As a matter of fact, it is not known at this time if he has actually signed anything, but what is known is that he has verbally agreed to appear.
The two sides have been negotiating since September 12th and came very close to a deal two weeks ago when Henry Holmes, Hogan’s lawyer, verbally agreed with the Jarretts that Hogan would appear for the show. A finalized deal may have been agreed to since that time.
On 11/3, NWA:TNA plans to have a full blown 3 hour PPV at the fairgrounds in Nashville and adding Hogan to the bill would be a significant boost to a company looking for a cable deal.
The rumored plan for his appearance is a title match against Jeff Jarrett and would be a payoff of sorts from Hogan’s final match in WCW at Bash at the Beach when Jarrett laid down for Hogan and Vince Russo came out to publicly shoot on Hogan (which led to a lawsuit between Russo and Hogan). It is presumed that since all three parties will be under one roof, the angle could continue. There is also another rumor that says if the deal does in fact go through, it will not be simply a one shot deal. We will have more on this explosive situation as it develops. Stay tuned to TBL for the latest news!(Credit 1wrestling & TBL)
Lita Updates the Status of Jeff Hardy
Lita was on “Byte This” last week and had some interesting things to say. First, she talked about her return to RAW and how she was knocked in the teeth hard enough to require some stitches. She laughed about her “welcome back”. Regarding Jeff Hardy, she stated that her and her boyfriend Matt Hardy are in constant contact with Jeff. She says of him: “He is doing alright but I don’t think he’s ready to come back yet. He needs more time to chill out and do his own thing before he can come back.”
Plans For Jindrak and Cade
It seems that the WWE is not completely sure what to do to push Jindrak and Cade. The young tag team has seen a lot more television time as of late and those in the front office would like to give them a shot to make it big, but the problem is in what kind of gimmick to go with. In house shows last Saturday, however, the duo wrestled as heels and made homosexual references, much like the old Billy and Chuck gimmick. There is no word if the WWE plans to go this direction with the two or continue to test it out at house shows. (credit prowrestling.com)
Kane vs. Undertaker?
The current rumor concerning Kane and the Undertaker is that the two will meet in a match at Wrestlemania XX at Madison Square Garden. If the match takes place, it would most likely carry a major stipulation, but at this point, more details are too far off. But it is said that management is definitely leaning in this direction, with a major roster trade to make the match possible. (credit The Torch)
Kevin Nash to Join Evolution
Despite rumors that he will be let go when his contract is up, the current plan is to have Kevin Nash join Evolution in the coming months on RAW. He is already scheduled to team with Randy Orton and Ric Flair at the November 29th house show in San Francisco. It seems that the plan is to have Nash be the one to collect on Triple H’s $100,000 bounty and be awarded a slot in the stable. (Credit 1wrestling)
Triple H News
It seems that Triple H was originally scheduled to win back the World Championship at Survivor Series, but those plans may be changed. It looks more likely that he will win it back at The Royal Rumble. There is a plan in the works that would have the two meet in a final showdown at Wrestlemania XX. This is still a rumor as advertisements in Dallas for The Survivor Series are still proclaiming a Triple H vs. Goldberg match. (Credit prowrestling.com and TBL)
Injury Updates
Booker T returned to the ring on October 10th in a show for OVW.
Jazz is medically cleared to return to WWE TV and has been working some OVW shows, so it’s only a matter of time before WWE gives her the call-up to the RAW roster.
Christian and Lance Storm are currently battling injuries: a bad neck and back, respectively.
Undertaker currently is suffering from pain in his elbow. The past few years have been very rough on Undertaker.
Batista should return to RAW in the very near future. (credit The Observer)
NWA:TNA To Get Video Game
IGN Games had an interview with D’Lo Brown this past week in which he said that NWA:TNA had reached a deal with EA to produce a video game. However, later in the week, IGN.com posted the following statement:
October 07, 2003 – According to TNA Entertainment, the wrestling organization is talking to several companies about a potential video game deal. Although representatives from Electronic Arts have visited TNA’s Nashville office recently, there have not been any final contracts signed, and negotiations with various video game publishers are ongoing. (credit prowrestling.com)
Referees Traded
According to WWE.com two veteran officials – Nick Patrick and Mike Chioda – have switched places, with Chioda moving to RAW and Patrick becoming the Head Official on Smackdown.
Review of The Macho Man’s Album
The New York Post reviewed Randy Savage’s rap album this week and were not very kind. Dan Quilante, a writer for the Post, wrote that Savage “defies the laws of physics by blowing and sucking at the same time.” He then adds that his elocution is a slow, thick-tongued lisp.
A New Clothing Line From Wrestlers
The following is an excerpt from a BoxingInsider.com column, written by Ken Shamrock:
Ground ‘N’ Pound is a clothing line, we have partners in Atlantic City, Steve Blackman and my self, are putting together. Its a clothing line for fighters and mainstream people. It is not a team or anything of that nature, its just fighting gear. We started it about 2-3 months ago and we are going to have a clothing line that is going to be geared towards the fighting fans. www.gnpgear.com.
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Eddie’s Rundown
Hello everyone. After a good celebration of my eighteenth birthday last week, I’m back with another edition of Eddie’s Rundown. As always, please e-mail me your thoughts and ideas of new “categories” to add to this little part of the Newsletter. Thank you! Let’s get to it…
WRESTLER OF THE WEEK — RVD/Christian
These two guys went through hell just a week ago in a tremendous Ladders Match. One week later, battered and bruised, they still managed to put up an amazing match, as RVD teamed up with Lance Storm and Christian teamed up with Jericho in what was the best match on RAW.
MATCH OF THE WEEK — RVD/Lance Storm vs. Chris Jericho/Christian
Not only was this an awesome bout, but for the first time in a while, Lance Storm was where he fits best. Let’s hope that old ECW comrades RVD and Jericho, alongside former IC Champion Christian will keep Storm’s character alive.
SHOW OF THE WEEK – SmackDown
Even though my picks for wrestler(s) of the week, as well as Match of the week come from RAW, SmackDown once again presented a better show overall. I’d give them advantage slightly this week, as the McMahons were heavily used on the show. Then again, Shane’s rundown of Kane wasn’t anything different.
DISAPPOINTMENT OF THE WEEK — Kane/Shane; Triple H
Although the car wreck spot on RAW was great visually, it doesn’t do much good for the storyline between these two. It made Shane heelish, whereas Kane was getting the babyface response, or end of the stick. As far as credibility goes, it’s more than obvious that this feud has lost its reality value a long time ago.
Triple H continues to play an important role on RAW, and he’s not even on the show. I discussed this in News & Analysis, which you can check out over at TBL’s site.
PROGRESS OF THE WEEK — Paul London?
There’s a huge question mark next to this one. Although it’s a great move to put London back on TV in his home state and present him to the TV audience, squashing him in his debut isn’t good. The way to build a credible guy is to make him look worth way more than he is. Go back and remember the debuts of Brock Lesnar and John Cena. They were pretty memorable. This shows that WWE isn’t really putting much behind London. However, this could quickly turn around and WWE could elaborate a storyline from here, that might actually push London. We’ll see in the short future.
TOPIC OF THE WEEK — Brand Trades http://www.thebalrogslair.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=52
FINAL THOUGHTS OF THE WEEK
It was your typical WWE week. RAW was rather bad this week as far as I’m concerned, because the show didn’t do much for me wrestling wise. The Kane/Shane spot was good the first time, but constantly sticking it down our throats or making us believe how real the situation is killed the whole idea behind everything. Where SmackDown goes, I liked the show, but the involvement of the McMahons was a bit too much to chew on. I hope next week will be better.
That will do it for this week folks. Feel free to e-mail me at eddie@thebalrogslair.com with your thoughts on this little sections and ideas for additional categories we could use! Have a good weekend.
Eddie
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The Reader’s Column
The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly
By: Violent Jay
Hello again newsletter peeps! This week’s edition focuses on my thoughts of what takes place in our little world known as the WWE. I’m hear to give you the GOOD, BAD, AND UGLY of this weeks shows!
GOOD:
Great main event on RAW. Who would have thought that Henry was capable of performing anything remotely interesting?
Over on Smackdown A-TRAIN gets another win. My two favorite wrestlers are Goldberg and A-Train. Vince likes the big guys and I believe the train will be champ of Smackdown someday soon.
I’m liking the idea of a Goldberg/HBK match, HBK is really the only legit main eventer on the RAW roster.
Ultimo Dragon was back on Smackdown, even though he lost. Tajiri looks more like a CLB than Christian does.
It looks to be a very SOLID No Mercy show.
BAD:
Starting a show with a Rosey match. The guy looked like he was trying hard but he just moves so slow in the ring.
The forced CLB chant on RAW was almost unbearable to watch.
Lance Storm is a horrible face. He is so bland. How does one become a Lance fan? Hmm I want to cheer the most boring man on the show!
The Sewer Truck bit on Smackdown was kind of lame. Watching Big Show try to act like Curly from the 3 stooges was an all time low for the big man.
When did FBI change music? I dug that techno disco stuff that, I guess, all Italians listen to.
I’m not sure why, but when Zach Gowen wrestles I just cringe. For some reason it just makes me feel uncomfortable.
UGLY:
Well it looks like No Mercy should be renamed McMahon Mercy. Every commercial break seemed to have a mention of the I Quit match, AND we still have another week of hyping it.
The announcement of the Biker chain match. This has Texas whippin’ match written all over it. UT is the face why does he need to change the match to better this chances of winning? All this does is make it look like UT can’t beat Brock 1 on 1.
Rant of the Week:
This week’s rant MIC WORK.
The WWE needs to realize that some wrestlers just aren’t good on the mic. Back in the day managers were all over the place. Could you imagine Andre the Giant trying to cut a promo like today’s wrestlers? For some reason everything that a wrestler says has to be funny. There is absolutely nothing wrong with “I’m gonna kick that crap out of you and rip you from limb to limb” talk. People like Bobby Heenan, Jim Cornette, Jimmy “the mouth of the south” Hart were all good on the mic and very entertaining. A good stable can be formed around a good mouth piece, whether it’s a manager or a wrestler. I’m glad to see it coming back some with Teddy Long, I also enjoyed Heyman’s stable where he had half the wrestlers on Smackdown.
Until Next week…
I am Jay. Lates.
Email Jay Here!
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“ROUNDING THE SQUARED CIRCLE”
“HEY MISTER, CAN YOU SPARE A DIME … OR $100,000?”
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VISIT MY HOME PAGE: http://members.aol.com/samjerry
Before looking at NITRO II, a few words about MLW: Raven has a new look. He has (almost) shaved his head and it now looks like Abdullah The Butcher’s, or a hairy crater on the moon. Then there was Francine, Queen of Extreme. She cut a promo that would make the Madame at The Bunny Ranch Proud. She was in a hotel room, wearing a sheer white “sleeping outfit,” although I doubt she would get much sleep wearing it. She is looking for a young stud to manage and offering him her “services.” She was in Rm. 427 at a Marriott, although Motel Six was more like it. Old habits die hard.
It was Monday Night with Game 5 of the American League Division Series between The Red Sox and The A’s; The Bucs v. The Colts; and NITRO II … plus MLW at 11 PM. Decisions, decisions, decisions. From 8-9 PM wasn’t a problem, but at 9 PM, it was tough. The only thing to do was tape NITRO II, and switch between the baseball and football games. A good decision. The Bucs blew a 21 point lead with 4 1/2 minutes to play and lost in OT, by a Field Goal. They lost because the officials called an Unsportsmanlike Conduct Penalty against The Bucs, as the Colts missed a FG attempt. They said that one of the Bucs defenders had “leaped on top of another in an attempt to block the kick.” The replay clearly showed that was not the case. After a 15 yard penalty, The Colts kicked the winning FG, even though it was tipped at the line of scrimmage, then hit the right upright and caromed thru the goal posts. It was as bad a call as the one in last years National Championship game, taking a TD away from Miami. That also cost them the game and Title.
Getting to NITRO II. With Good Old JR and The King announcing (Note to Vince: Hire Joey Styles), we began with HHH in a segment taped earlier in the day (more like three weeks ago) talking about the $100,000 Bounty he is offering to anyone who takes Superman out. It is not quite clear if that means putting him in a hospital bed, burying him or just beating him. Another of those WWE mysteries. HHH is away healing and making nice with The Princess, and we all know making nice takes priority.
In the biggest surprise to hit NITRO II this century, we got to a match before 9:15 PM. The pyro warned everyone to lock up the women, children and sheep as The Monster came to the ring. I hear rumors that he too will be starring in a movie: Rodan v. The Monster From Stamford (and here you thought only The Rock was a star). His sacrificial lamb this week was The Big S.H.I.T. Rosalie, who Good Old JR told us was bigger than The Monster (about 15 times). Nothing like building a guy up. Way to go.
BTW JR, I know Oklahoma is still ranked No. 1, and deservedly so, after all they beat that perennial football power house, Troy State. Check the Top 5 and note that Miami is No. 2 and Florida State is No. 5. How many states can say they have two teams in the Top 5 … or even Top 25? Oklahoma can take a breath as they play each other this week. Who’s Oklahoma playing? Montana State Teachers College? Northern Idaho Typing Institute? But I digress, Kane puts S.H.I.T. away with the weakest Chokeslam ever. Maybe they’ll feed him Troy State next week. Hey, it worked for PU … err, OU.
Look up in the sky, it’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s The Green Winged Thingie. The kid has more balls than brains; he keeps attacking The Monster and The Monster keeps breaking little pieces off of him. “Here comes the money” starts playing. The Monster, not being the brightest ogre in the countryside, turns towards the ramp. Of course, The Prince jumps him from behind, pulling the old “running in from the crowd trick,” which hasn’t done in hours. The WWE is full of trick tonight as they go to a commercial. Just when it something might have been happening. When we get back, Kane is searching backstage for The Prince, who is the Master of The Hit & Run … for your F’N life. The Monster searches high and low, in and out, up and down, etc., etc. looking for him. Turns out that The Prince is in a limo and suckers Kane in thru the moon roof. Next he jams the accelerator with a 2 X 4, pops the limo into gear and aims it at a conveniently located trailer. Scratch one limo, and perhaps one Monster, as the limo runs into the trailer and half the roof is sheared off. Off to more commercials and when we get back, a couple of dozen firemen are trying to cut The Monster out of the wreck. We can see him bleeding like a stuffed T-Rex. Stone Cold Beer Man (SCBM) wanders by and offers his expertise at extrication. Hell, he’s been extricated out of more bars than any ten guys, so he’s an expert at it.
As the firemen work away, we go to the next match (No. 2 by my count). It’s Lita v. Far East Girl. Lardass joins the announce team, making it Three-Of-A-Kind. I ask the same question I asked last week: Why is Lita facing Oriental Lady, when she destroyed her and Lardass both a couple of weeks ago? Speaking of Lita, she just announced that she and Matthew Hardy will be getting married sometime in the future; no date set, no even which decade. They wouldn’t want to rush into things. During the match, Lita had Asian Girl in a pinning position that could have gotten her arrested in 23 states and several foreign countries. She must have thought she was in El Lay, where that position is seen in many “art” movies … just ask Val Venis. If you need to be told who won this match, try watching Becker next week.
Back to the crash site, where we see Good Old Eric (GOE) telling this weeks “policemen” that it was all SCBM’s fault. We see The Monster bleeding like he was Steve Corino. They’ll have to call ahead for a 20 pint transfusion.
More of HHH’s taped earlier BS. This time he says that Evolution may get a new member – the person who collects the Bounty. If you had any idea that Mark Henry was going to collect it, this was your 57th clue that he wasn’t.
Next we see The Over-The-Hill Kid wandering around aimlessly. BTW, did you know that he is the Official Ambassador of Del Rio, Texas, the Buckle on The Bible Belt. He is wearing yet another nonsectarian T-shirt. It will have to be electronically covered when NITRO II plays in the Moslem world. He tracked down SCBM, who was also wearing a religious T-shirt – The F*CK FEAR one, and demanded a match with Henry. Think about it, when was the last time Henry was wanted for any match, let alone be scheduled for one and looked for in another. The Kid is still pissed that Henry used him as an appetizer before dinner last week. He refuses to “turn the other cheek.” SCBM told The Kid to do what he had to do. Sounds like two Texans if I even heard them.
Guess what kiddies, Roid man, dragging a distraught Legs behind him, lumbered to the ring. Ever the gentleroid, he demanded that Legs get on her knees and apologize for costing him the Tag Team Title and his match at Unforgiven. Shows you how smart he is … Legs on her knees and all he can think about is an apology. GOE came out and gushes over the Roid Man he knew and loved (hey, maybe that’s why the knee thing) in WCW was back. As a reward, he was going to hand pick an opponent. Funny, I thought making matches was his job … go figure. The match began while we were away at yet another commercial break. It was Little Spike Dudley, whose waist is about the size of Roid Man’s arms. Poor Spike, he’s got about the same chance Green Thingie had.
They cut away to see The Monster finally free from the wreck and on a stretcher. He now needs 12 gallons of blood. Having been a paramedic, I am rolling on the floor at how long it took and how he is being treated. Wait, there are no paramedics there, just a bunch of firemen. Maybe they plan to use their K-12 Saw on him. Back to the match where Spikey has been beaten into a Monster (bloody mess). Roidy finally puts Spike out of his misery, but after the count, continues picking his bones. Enter Grandpa Dudley’s favorites, Bubba Ray and D-Von (he doesn’t particularly like Spike because he was scared by midgets when he was young). They chased the bad man away and this made Legs smile. Testicle came down and led Legs away. Note to Testicle: How about I borrow Legs for a few hours and let her to “apologize?”
Backstage we see The French Douchebags and Benedict Conway. They are trying to figure out how many Francs in $100,000? They are located behind a bunch of empty boxes and $oldberg is a couple of yards away. Maybe they should have been converting feet in meters instead … it would have saved them getting their Froggie asses kicked. It was one of the few (only)? times I rooted for The Man of Titanium. He broke the French Flag stick (too bad he didn’t break it off in their sorry asses) and sent it sailing.
Once again we go back to the scene of the crime (oops, I forgot, it was an accident) in the garage. GOE is talking to the only witness to the accident (other than the 3 million or so who saw it on TV). Once again, he said it was SCBM’s fault.To the ramp we go and find Y2Jackoff leading The Crotch, Little Creepy Bastard (LCB) and a jovial Lance Storm (sound like an oxymoron, doesn’t it)! towards the ring. Jockstrap takes off on SCBM, blaming him for everything from turning Kane into a monster to Mongolian Crotch Rot. He says the Board of Directors (I reiterate … Who the F are they?) are listening (is NITRO II on radio; don’t they have TV’s)? He gives each of his three companions a chance to bitch about SCBM and shows last weeks Ladder Match. Much to Jackoff’s chagrin, Jovial disagree. Where can that lead? It did. SCBM came out, followed by RVD. SCBM didn’t lay a glove on any of them, however, RVD tore them new rectal openings.
SCBM then asked the crowd what they thought about him kicking asses, using the one-finger salute and a “Hell Yeah.” He got a 99.99% approval. End result: SCBM set up a Tag Team Match, with RVD and Jovial v. Jockstrap and LCB … starting immediately. RVD hit a Drop Toe Hold on LCB, putting him in position to play Toot The Whistle with Jockstrap. A cheer from San Fran was heard clear to El Lay as they hit. Good guys win.
Ms. 44DDD was backstage with Mark Henry, Teddy “Belee Dat” Long and Rodney “I Lubs dem white boyz I beets up” Mack. Since I didn’t take Ebonics 101, I can’t tell you what they said. I can tell you they were checking out Ms. 44 DDD’d enhancements.
Golly gee, another match! Ancient Ric and Cowboy Orton III v. Garrison Cade and Mark Jindrak, sans Maven this week (thank heaven for little favors). If anyone cares, Old Guy and Cowboy won. Ho hum. If Old Ric doesn’t watch himself, he’s going to become Mr. 44DDD, and he wont need enhancements.
Time for our weekly dose of how wonderful The Rock and his movie The Rundown are. By now you should be able to name the entire cast and crew.
Here come Delicious Trish and Maven (Maven?) They are doing whatever it takes to get this useless hunk of excrement over. They bump into Ancient Ric and Cowboy III, where Excrement challenges Ancient One to a match next week. There goes a wasted segment … Over-The-Mountain v. Never Was (or Will Be).
A clip of The Amazon nailing Delicious with The Widow’s Peak last week. This was an obvious lead in to another match. Delicious and Excrement v. Amazon and Dumbass Stevie. Old Man made some comment about holding more Titles than Maven had women, so naturally The King had to bring it up again. Excrement is saving himself for marriage. Trish did her share of Flips and other moves designed to show how flexible she is. As she did, every red blooded male pictured himself “flexing” with her. Maven? Give me two F’N breaks. What a piece of crap.
Main Event Time: Time for The World’s Strongest Man (even with deodorant) trying to collect the Bounty. Mack got run off by the referee. Spitting and mouthing sounds that only four or more legged creatures might understand, here comes Super Stupendous Man. A quick check of the clock tells me this may last longer than I thought. Muscles-In-His-Sh*t actually controlled the match for a while (remember what I said about the time – can’t have Monumental Man winning too fast). Oh, oh … he comes that paragon of racial equality, Rodney. He brought an Acme Steel Chair with him and laced it across $oldie’s back, causing his Bro to be DQ’d. Wait a minute, it’s The Over-The-Hill Kid. He plans to get his revenge against Henry. He grabs him, just as Goldfinger raced in for The Spear. Henry moves and The Kid eats The Spear. At his age, that can’t feel too good. Does that make him next in line for a shot at the Big Bucks? Could be. Then again, Big Lazy is due back and he never met a Bounty he didn’t like. Maybe it will be The Old Guys sharing The Bounty. Only Time will Tell. Fade to Joe Schmo.
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Backward
Our award winning Newsletter is almost at it’s end. I know how sad you must be. But not before get to my patented plugs and shills! I have to do this first because it was the big, BIG thing on TBL this week. That’s right, we had our very first Smackdown Rage. You readers that enjoy RAW Rage on a weekly basis will really enjoy getting my recap of Smackdown. So, check it out.
Other Smackdown coverage included Chris Vining’s Smackdown Slam. Check it out. Also, Eddie came back and busted out a News and Analysis for you to read and enjoy. Wanna know more about NWA:TNA? Go over and enjoy Headlines & Scrutiny by our own Trevor. And as always, if you want to talk about wrestling with like-minded people, head on over to The TBL Forums. The list of people talking is growing every day. It’s free, it’s fun, it’s all about you.
Well, I guess that’ll about do it. Except for one last thing: I should have a new Roland’s Chamber up this weekend, sometime. Keep checking, it should be up soon. It’s about Hogan.
See you next week. Keep going to TBL for the best wrestling website around!
Roland G
rolandg77@sbcglobal.net
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