Confidential Report for 8/9/2003.
Recorded at the WWE TV Studios in Stamford CT.
Your Host: Mean Gene Okerlund.
Recap by: John Keane
Gene welcomes us in and, you guessed it, quickly settles down to business. We’re reminded that last year the Smackdown crew conducted a tour of Australia, and that this year the Raw crew got to do the honors. Later on we’ll see footage from their trip Down Under. Also tonight, Cruiserweight Champion Rey Mysterio goes ‘Outside the Ropes’.
First up is our ‘Cover Story’. We go to footage of Terri, Ivory, Bradshaw and Faarooq (apparently Ron Simmons has returned to using that moniker) paying a visit to our troops serving in Kuwait. Bradshaw states the original plan was for a crossing of the border into Iraq to visit the troops on garrison duty-unfortunately, frequent guerrilla activity forced a change of plans. Basic morale building meet-and-greet exercise. Highlight: the Washington Redskins cheerleaders also putting in an appearance. Reality check moment: quick shots of homemade plaques commemorating the deaths of fallen soldiers. Break.
(Commercial plugging Bradshaw’s new book airs.)
WWE Rewind: From last Monday, Stone Cold Steve Austin flexed his muscles to change the Raw-brand Main Event of the upcoming Summerslam PPV. Show was to feature Bill Goldberg challenging HHH for the World Championship in a one on one match. Rattler changed it to a 6-man match in the Elimination Chamber-joining Bill and Hunter will be Chris Jericho, Randy Orton, Kevin Nash and Shawn Michaels, last man standing will be declared World Champion.
Gene gets in some hype for the Chamber match, reminds us the structure has been used only once before, at last years Survivor Series PPV. We turn to the subject of the Smackdown crew’s participation at Summerslam-we’re reminded that last Thursday Brock Lesnar turned on WWE Champion/Olympic Hero Kurt Angle and deigned to align himself with Vince McMahon. Gene informs us before Brock’s turn to the dark side he filmed a commercial hyping hyping WWE’s 2nd biggest event of the year.
We go to footage of the spot, which was a parody of a scene from the movie ‘Jaws’. A ‘shark’ was spotted off a crowded beach, panic ensued until Brock, not needing a boat or even a bigger boat, ran out into the water and dispatched the (stuffed) seagoing predator with the F-5. Shark did gain a measure of revenge-as Brock celebrated it laid him out with a (tide assisted) blow from behind. Funny stuff, we go to break with a view of the finished spot.
Gene returns for our ‘Outside the Ropes’ segment. Tonight Josh Matthews asks the questions, Rey Mysterio provides the answers.
Q: Is the mask a chick magnet?
A: Yep!
Q: Next Friday the movie ‘Freddie vs. Jason’ comes out. Being a masked man yourself, will you be pulling for Jason?
A: Yep!
Q: What does the DMV say when you go to get your picture taken with the mask on?
A: ‘Are you older than 18?’
Q: How much hang time do you get when you make your explosive entrance?
A: Approximately 3 seconds.
Q: You tend to spin around a few times after landing (during your entrance). Do you get dizzy?
A: Nope!
Q: Here’s 10 seconds, give me as many words that you can think of that rhyme with ‘Mysterio’.
A: Stereo, radio, serio (sp? Rey defines the last as a Spanish word meaning ‘for real’). 3 words only.
Q: Who’s stronger, King Kong or Mighty Mouse?
A: Mighty Mouse.
Q: You drive a Hummer. Can you reach the gas pedal?
A: With modifications, yes.
Q: Other than to visit Cancun, why should people visit Mexico?
A: ‘Party town. Everything’s legal!’
Q: About a month ago Ruben wore a t-shirt bearing the area code of his home town (Birmingham, Alabama) while being announced the winner of the 2nd season of ‘American Idol’. Did he steal that from the ‘619’?
A: (Vague response, Rey seems to indicate he’s not sweating the mild case of gimmick infringement.)
Bonus Question: Here’s the first line of a song, how much else can you finish: “Who’s that jumping out the sky…”
A: “R-E-Y! 619! Rey Mysterio! On the serio! On the stereo! Listen to him live! That’s right!”
Josh thanks Rey for his time and we go to break.
We return directly to footage of the Raw crew hanging out in Australia. Aussie accents are attempted with varying degrees of success.
Gene gets in a couple seconds of air time before we return Down Under to recap Trish Stratus and Stacy Keibler checking out the Royal Melbourne Zoological Gardens. In a nutshell, we get loads of girlish cooing over Australia’s unique (and in some cases endangered) animals. Chowdown and cooking seminar follows. Major puff piece. Break.
Wrestlemania Recall: From WM1, André the Giant defeats Big John Studd in a ‘$15,000 Body Slam Match’.
We return to Living Legend Chris Jericho, who describes tonight’s ‘Classic Match’ as one of his prime motivations to enter the biz…
From the Vault: WM1, S.D. Jones vs. King Kong Bundy.
Squash for the ages, match lasts all of 9 seconds, Bundy gets the win after an Avalanche and a Splash.
Back to Y2J, who has a starry look in his eyes as he reflects on the glory that was Jones/Bundy. But hey, he’s Chris Jericho, and he’s going to present another classic!
From WM2: Greg ‘The Hammer’ Valentine and Brutus Beefcake vs. The British Bulldogs (Davey Boy Smith and The Dynamite Kid). Former team is managed by Jimmy Hart, Bulldogs are accompanied by Captain Lou Albano and Ozzy Osbourne (!).
Damn good match that serves nicely as a showcase for the Bulldog’s greatness. Suplexes and hard bumps in spades, hell even Brother Bruti looked pretty decent! End saw Hammer being tossed toward a corner by Dynamite as Davey Boy was perched on a second turnbuckle-Hammer went down to the headbutt, Brutus was late attempting the save, Dynamite made the cover for all 3. Break.
Back, some of the troops visited by the WWE crew during the opening segment send regards to their friends and family.
Gene returns to end the show on a rather somber note. We’re informed that the autopsy result on Elizabeth Hulette has determined that ‘Miss Elizabeth’ died due to ‘a fatal mix of pills and alcohol’. Gene notes that at the time of her passing her body was found to have a blood-alcohol level of .29, and that painkillers, nausea medication and tranquilizers were all present in her system. Medical examiners official pronouncement: ‘Miss Hulette’s death has been ruled accidental due to acute toxicity or an overdose, and there is nothing to indicate either suicide or foul play’. Show ends with Gene sending best wishes to the friends and family of Elizabeth Hulette.
Not one of Confidential’s best efforts tonight. Loads of fluff, Rey seemed a bit nervous during the interview, only real save was provided by Y2J and his pair of ‘Classic Matches’. Late, thanks for reading, please send any feedback to john.f.keane@worldnet.att.net.
[Full Credit: John Keane]
