I have to admit it right now; I don¹t plan on buying Vengeance. There is a small possibility that come Sunday, I will have a wrestling fix that needs satisfying and I¹ll give in, but as of right now, I don¹t expect that to happen. Although the last edition of Smackdown did give me reason to hope that the show will be more than what I was thinking it would be.
Let¹s look at the show from both angles. We all know there are both Marks and Smarts, but no matter who you are, you watch wrestling for one of two reasons. You watch for the storylines or the matches. If you watch for the storylines, you¹ve probably been having trouble staying awake during Smackdown for some time now anyway, so it is doubtful you¹re pre-ordering Vengeance before the phone lines clog up. Every week forŠwell, it feels like forever, we have been watching the uncomfortable saga of the McMahon family. Let¹s see if I can even remember how far back this goes. Vince hates Hulk Hogan for testifying against him in the Steroid Scandal and (even though Hogan helped clear him) puts him in a rematch against The Rock, screws him with the ref (who turns out to be part of the Resistance), fights him in a match at Wrestlemania, then puts him on inactive duty. Hogan comes back under the guise of Mr. America, passes a lie detector test (I believe the explanation of that should be because they never asked him if his name was Terry Bolea) and causes a rift between Stephanie and her dad because she is the one who hired him. McMahon gets Roddy Piper involved and he beats up a Mr. America fan, who just happens to also be Zach Gowen (a.k.a. Tenacious Z) and also happens to be missing a leg. Zach wants a contract to wrestle for Mr. McMahon, who hates him because he is a Hogan fan. Stephanie finds inspiration in the amputee and wants to sign him. After some McMahon shenanigans (arm wrestling, butt kissing), he puts Zach and his daughter in a (HA HA) handicap match with the Big Show. In the meantime, Hogan, like a true moron and egomaniac, lifts his mask (and laments his empty wallet) to reveal himself to a New York crowd and is fired. Zach wins his match with help from Brock Lesner and Kurt Angle to earn his contract. At the signing, McMahon challenges him to a match at Vengeance. This (along with the Stephanie/Daddy/Sable sidebar) has been the main storyline of Smackdown for a very long time. When you read it, it doesn¹t sound that bad. But here is the problem. It hasn¹t (up until very recently) involved what should be the main storyline of any wrestling show, the championship. As a matter of fact, it doesn¹t involve any belt. And the participants involved have come out looking bad. Vince is now a parody of his former heel character, Stephanie never works as a face, Zach looks like charity case (as opposed to a guy who really did work his way up in the business), and SableŠwell, Sable hasn¹t changed much. She¹s always been a harlot.
What about the other stories? Well, with a limited amount of time to really build, you have Brock and Angle; chummy friends who are also competitive with The Big Show (the only guy to actually pin Lesner in a real match) in a three way dance. You have some bar room brawl that is just an excuse to get as many of the little people some face time on the show. There is the Kidman/Mysterio tag team that has had zero interaction with the champs, Haas and Benjamin. A somewhat interesting story involving the US Title where Benoit and Guerrero, former Radicals, squaring off while Eddie tries to be a heel but is popped for like a face. A Cena vs. Undertaker match that has only gotten buildup from Cena and his raps. And finally, there is Billy Gunn vs. Jamie Noble who are fighting over Torrie, which is a two week storyline at best. This is what storyline fans have to look forward to.
For those that love to watch for workrate, things are a little better for you, although I will say that this is really a two-match PPV for you. Stephanie/Sable is a laugher. Gowen and McMahon won¹t be much unless we get to see some of the ballyhooed moves everyone says Zach has. The barroom brawl will be a pool cue/bottle hardcore match so marks can have some shiny blood to look at. Kurt/Brock/Big Show could be good without Show but will most likely run into slow down mode with him in there. Cena/Undertaker won¹t be much for workrate and with the loss of Taker¹s father this week, I doubt Mark Calloway will be that interested in trying to pull off a good match (and, no, I¹m not blaming him). No one is able to pull a great match out of Billy Gunn even if Noble isn¹t half bad in the ring. So, you are left with the Tag match, which should be extremely entertaining and the US Title match, which should be phenomenal.
But will it be worth $35? Only you can answer that question, grasshopper.
Predictions:
GM vs. GM Assistant
Stephanie vs. Sable
Who should win: Neither. There shouldn¹t even be a match here.
Who will win: Nobody. At least, not the viewer. I can¹t see Stephanie losing because nothing is gained if Sable wins.
Indecent Proposal Match
Billy Gunn vs. Jaime Noble
Who should win: As much as I hate to say it, Billy should win if they are wanting to push him. I¹d rather they didn¹t and get him in a tag team because that is the only place he¹s effective, but that isn¹t their plan right now.
Who will win: But, that won¹t stop them from making a dumb mistake. They put the stipulation out there so it plays right into Noble¹s favor. He¹ll win the unclean way and we will get to see Nidia interfere in his night with Torrie, causing a break-up of the two. And then, hopefully this stupid feud will be over.
New Skool vs. Old Skool
John Cena vs. Undertaker
Who should win: Cena. Without a doubt. He needs the elevation here to take some steps up.
Who will win: Undertaker. You see, with his father dying coupled with the fact that he¹s bad about putting over the young guys lately, the bookers will give him the win for sentimental reasons.
WWE Tag Team Titles Match
Shelton Benjamin & Charlie Haas vs. Rey Mysterio & Billy Kidman
Who should win: Haas and Benjamin. They are quickly earning (if they aren¹t there already with so little competition) their nickname: The World¹s Greatest Tag Team. Since they got the belts back, they haven¹t defended them and they need the win to solidify their reign.
Who will win: Haas and Benjamin. Although they probably won¹t look like they should¹ve. I¹m predicting the predictable feud of Kidman and Mysterio starting here. And it wouldn¹t be smart to put the tag belts on the two guys that are supposed to be building up the Cruiser Division into something special.
APA Barroom Brawl
Who should win: Depending upon whether this is an actual match or not, the best choice would be the guy that should be going places in the future: Sean O¹Haire.
Who will win: The APA. It¹s their brawl, they always win their brawls. Unfortunately, the APA (which I guess stills stands for Acolyte Protection Agency. Does anyone still remember The Acolytes anymore?) has become Smackdown¹s version of The Duds (minus Spike, who I still enjoy).
Singles Match
Vince McMahon vs. Zach Gowen
Who should win: Zach Gowen. I feel for Zach because he is a carnival sideshow right now. Everyone just wants to see him do things without a leg. But, how long will the novelty last?
Who will win: Zach. I can¹t even imagine Vince being so egomaniacal that he would put himself over here.
WWE US Finals Title Match
Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit
Who should win: Either. Both are hard workers and I could see the benefits of either winning. Though, I think from both a pop and balance standpoint, Eddie should win. He has the crowds (how ironic that a heel has the biggest face pop and I¹m so glad for him. I wrestled in High School with Chavo Sr. as my coach and it¹s great to see this family really making it big in the WWE), and if Brock retains, he needs to be the heel counterbalance to the face on top.
Who will win: Eddie. For all the reasons above and the fact that management has to hear the chants.
WWE Heavyweight Championship
Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle vs. The Big Show
Who should win: In a happy world, Brock would win and turn heel again. He is the biggest dork on two legs when he¹s smiling and the menacing Brock had people¹s attention. They only cheered when he beat Rock because people were tired of Rock. Big Show is a horrible champ and Angle would be the next great babyface champ a few months from now (imagine the fun if they turn Benoit heel after Angle gets the strap finally). So, Brock is the logical choice.
Who will win: Brock. I think the WWE sees the need to keep the belt on him, I¹m just not so sure they agree with me that he needs to turn again.
Well, that¹s all for now. I should be back with another column next week, but remember, no Rage on Monday. Have a good weekend everyone.
I¹m Roland.
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