Yes, everyone’s favorite columnist is back with the latest edition of “Jon’s Corner”! But before I get to RAW, I want to talk about my last column. I’d like to thank all the people who left me feedback on my Goldberg interview. Most of it was very positive and I’m happy to see that. But to the few of you that actually took that column seriously and called me a “dumbass” and “liar” among other things because the interview was fake, I say this. IT WAS A JOKE, A SPOOF, NOT MEANT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY YOU IDIOTS! The intelligence of some people is amazing, but anyway, let’s talk about RAW.
Get ready ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for the most horribly written 2 hours in television! Live every Monday night from an un-sold out arena near you!
Opening Video
Am I the only one who finds that Bischoff/Austin thing at the end where the crowd boos at Eric and cheers at Austin funny? Anyway, we see a recap of last week. Hopefully someone has gotten Issac Yankem some soap and shampoo in the past week.
The Highlight Reel
Y2J said Kane should of been his guest tonight. Sorry Chris, Glen is still trying to get that dirt off his face, next choice. So his guest is Stacey who comes out with Mr. Steriod. I guess Chris was planning on spitting some game to Stacey because he tried to rid the ring of the freak. Oh well, they argue back and forth, then Stacey asks Jericho if he thinks he can actually compare to Freakzilla with such a small “penis”. Sorry guys, but I’ve destroyed her for all of you. I mean after Stacey saw my penis everything else these days is just so “small” in comparison. But to the point, Y2J can’t be too much more stumped than Steiner, don’t steriods kill you in that area? I bet Steiner has been screwing Stacey with his veins, not his ding-a-ling. But anyway, so now Test comes out, Jericho and him both get beat down and now out comes Bischoff! Stone Cold will not be here tonight(boooo). I guess he got caught up in beating a woman somewhere and missed his flight, poor Ringmaster. So it’s just Bischoff tnoight and he makes a Steiner/Stacey Y2J/Test tag match for later.
Lance Storm against Disappointment
Lance had another statement to read, but was interrupted by Billy. Rodney Mack came down and attacked Goldberg, Goldberg came back and speared him. Storm bailed to go read more of the dictionary and Mack received a jackhammer. What a playa hater that Goldberg is! So now we see Tazz, I mean Kane with a towel over his head. Could Kane actually have found some shampoo and washed his hair??!! It’s a possibility, but it soon gets squashed. Eric tries to get the towel off Kane, he even offers another chance at losing to HHH, kane declines though. Finally Eric figured it out though, Kane is scared that people will laught at his face being dirty. Well either way he has to show his face or be fired!
Women’s Title Battle Royal
Gail Kim debuted and won the Women’s title. Too bad Jazz faked being hurt so it didn’t mean as much. Overall horrid match, women have no place in wrestling. All their matches are horrible.
IC Title: (C)Christian agaisnt Booker T
Decent match, but the finish was lame. The crowd didn’t even know Booker won until way later. I guess it didn’t matter though, Bisch came out and made called the match a draw. So yes, Christian retained the belt. So now we see the Big Red Plumbing Machine being confronted by RVD. So RVD says it was his idea for Kane to unmask if he lost because he doesn’t need the mask. Some friend eh? Anyway, Kane says the fans won’t accept him, and he’s right, I’d just laugh at the fake Diesel. But then he goes and says he hates us and RVD, that’s is not very nice! Didn’t Paul teach you some manners young man!
Y2J/Test against Steriods/Legs
What a bore fest, I don’t remember who won but I think it was the heels. I do however remember Stone Test slamming Stacey. Maybe a name change to “The Woman Beater” is in need.
Rico against Maven
I guess Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie did have a freak baby. His name is Rico. I don’t know what the hell was going on in this match, I guess Richard Simmons booked it. I like Maven and I hope he gets a nice push, but for the love of God, get Rico and that waste of Tough Enough contract Jackie off my TV! Stinker match.
This show is pure trash and it only gets worse, I’ll just skip to the main event.
World Title Match: (C)Triple H against RVD
Now this was a good match, I loved how much Hunter was selling and putting over RVD, how come he can never do this when it comes to the finishes? But anyway, lots of nearfalls and great action outside the ring. When HHH won by DQ and Eric came out and made the match continue and RVD pinned Hunter outside the ring I actually thought RVD would win. I’m a fool. Hunter ended up winning with a DDT on the stage. Now here comes Kane! He acts like he is going to chokeslam RVD, but instead chokeslams Bischoff off of the stage! Nice bump by Eric. Then the close up on Kane’s face! OMG! He actually did find some soap to get the dirt of his face! I guess he couldn’t find any shampoo though, but at least he got rid of the hair. By the way Kane, please stop making faces like that, your face might get stuck.
I’m not going to give a long overview because this show sucked ass!
Well hope you enjoyed my review of this horrid show. Feedback is welcomed and will get a responce. Be on the lookout for Goldberg Interview Part 2, coming soon. Cya
