WWE has shot it’s arrow in to the white elephant of 2003 already. I speak of The World (formerly: WWF New York), WWE’s latest dismal monstrosity of an attempt to become mainstream promoters and distance themselves from a stigma that surrounds pro wrestling that The McMahons have now even bought in to.
Have they learned their lesson? Linda McMahon’s seldom-straightforward pre-prepared statements would lead you to believe so. “We are reallocating resources to the continued growth of our global business, rather than focusing on a single, site-specific and local project. We will build shareholder value by continuing to create WWE branded products and programming which we can distribute on a worldwide basis,” said Mrs. McMahon in a seldom-straightforward pre-prepared statement. In other words: “We are pulling out of the restaurant because it’s so obvious that we screwed up, even we can see it. We will focus our money globally instead of locally and look for another way that we can make ourselves look ignorant to mainstream media and our shareholders, if there are any left. Don’t fret – we will find another way to fuck our shit up financially and then pull out.”
The World, which WWE has a 20-year lease for, will account for over $50 million in the company’s monies over the past few years.
Believe me, WWE hasn’t learned their lesson. They are just doing other things. For example, now they are investing millions of dollars into the WWE Films brand. WWE Films!? You have got to be kidding me. Is WWE trying to sabotage themselves, nope, even though it would seem that way… I have come to a conclusion-Linda and Vince McMahon don’t like being wrestling promoters. They do it out of a sense of duty, it’s the family business and always has been. But at the same time, they want to transcend simply being wrestling promoters. They want to be the circus, the restaurant, the casino, the movie house, the music label, the football company, the nutritional supplement company, even the next Don King of boxing. Every past effort has failed and I’m going to step out on a limb and say that all future ones will as well.
Past crimes against humanity included: In 1974, Vince promotes an event where stuntman Evel Knieval will attempt to go over the Snake River Canyon. Suffice it to say, he doesn’t, and the event is a huge bomb. In the late ’70s, they attempt the Cape Cod Coliseum venture. In the 1980s, they try creating a movie production house. In 1990, the WWF starts plans to create a bodybuilding federation to rival all others. It comes to fruition in January 1991 and ends 18 months later in July of 1992. A press release kicked the organization off after months of WWF employees denying its existence. The release declares that the WBF will “‘revamp professional bodybuilding with dramatic new events and the richest prize money in the history of the sport”. It was rumored that one of the talents (Gary Strydom) was even signed to a three-year deal for $1.2 million. Also in the early ’90s, Vince McMahon invests millions of dollars in Icopro Nutritional Supplements and it proves another abysmal failure for the company. The timing of the ventures in the ’90s is odd considering you don’t expand a business when it’s not doing well (e.g. 1992-1996). Fast forward to the middle ’90s, Vince McMahon wants to become a boxing promoter. Nothing becomes of the idea after failing with a “Sugar Ray” Leonard v Donny Lelond match on PPV. In 1999, WWE makes their triumphant return to stupid ideas when a casino/hotel is purchased and the WWF logo is placed on the front. The sign is later taken down and the building is sold in late 2000. These are not even remote successes. In 2000, it becomes obvious that the WWF has not forgotten about their ideas to enter the hotel/restaurant business as WWF New York is opened after the WWF pays $23.6 million initially and a 20-year lease. The restaurant fails to satisfy its customers and undergoes numerous changes, including being changed to The World and welcoming mainstream acts. One of the only positives to the building was serving to advertise the company and tape TV shows. The restaurant ended up costing the company millions before being closed in early 2003. In 2000, Mr. McMahon declares triumphantly that “ballet sucks” and that he will create a football league. McMahon donates his time, his money, and not to forget… his shareholder’s money to the new company. All it ends up, is a lesson to the NFL on how to make improvements to their shows. This is the first joint venture as NBC bucks for almost half and airs the games in prime time. It proves one of the biggest embarrassments ever for NBC and the WWF. Inside or outside of wrestling, I haven’t seen many things as horrible as this. NBC decides not to renew contract and after the WWF says they won’t quit for a week, they do. The XFL closes after season one in 2001 after losing millions. In 2001, the WWF purchases WCW for a very low price. The positives were gaining a large tape library and WCW rights. The negatives were, well, everything else. After a poorly promoted invasion angle, WWE decides to not create a second brand and call the whole thing off. I can’t remember when the next abomination was created, SmackDown! Records was created as a music label to make CDs and sign bands. After a while with no one, on July 16, 2002, SmackDown! Records, signs Neurotica. Soon later, not being able to handle the costs and needs of a band under contract, they close, costing the company more money. In 2002, WWE Niagra Falls is opened on the Canada side of the humongous wonder of nature. It is promoted as a theme park and retail market. After numerous safety violations and no inspections and a broken ride, the WWE amusement park ride is shut down on the second day. It hasn’t been opened since. Also in 2002, WWE Films opens with a big staff in LA. It hasn’t failed yet, but sure enough will. I’m sure I haven’t named everything, but I think you get the gist of this.
OTHER THOUGHTS
Philip Livingston joins the WWE family this week and he has a lot on his plate. Mr. Livingston will become CFO, replacing acting CFO Frank Serpe (who was fairly inept, but he was just a transition employee so it doesn’t really matter) ever since Ligouri lost his job last year. What a great idea that was, by the way, Vince loses his bonus, Ligouri loses his job. This company needs to handle its money better, on a corporate level, and I’m sure Mr. Livingston will be able to handle the challenge. On the other hand, the people at the top need to take responsibility for their actions and I think on the wrestling end, and with the McMahons on top, they are committing sabotage, through incompetence, ignorance, and for personal gain and using everything else as a scapegoat.
Thanks to Michael for acknowledging my existence.
Thanks to Vince McMahon for acknowledging my existence by enforcing a restraining order on me, stemming from 1994 (long story). Let it go, Vince.
On a serious note, according to Bob Magee, this May will bring ten years of wrestling at Viking Hall. Its unfortunate that as a tribute to a place which showcased some of the most revolutionary wrestling this country has ever seen, is the stage for promoters clawing over territory and “imitation” groups with no dignity. It was also in this time period now, two years ago, that ECW was cleared from the landscape. Who could have expected a little, hot and humid, often-unbearable Bingo hall to showcase a revolution, a movement, even a renaissance? Only in wrestling.
Key comments about this past Monday’s RAW (edited from a TBL message board post): I felt RAW was a very mediocre show this past Monday. While I enjoyed some things, that didn’t make it a good show. Many things were done poorly, or just not done at all. This wasn’t the type of show you would want or expect two weeks before a $50 PPV. I liked how they cut back on the racial references but I doubt it was because WWE is actively trying to put a stop to it. There has been no change of heart, just in case anyone was wondering. Moreover, anything they gained by not resorting to antiquated, embarrassing, ineffective, hurtful, and insulting racist angles, they lost with Goldust’s gimmick which they made fun of relentlessly. You have a character meant to be portrayed in jest not meant for pity being laughed at by everyone except JR, who was a weak voice in terms of putting Goldy over. No taste at all. On the subject of the announcers, they were the worst I’ve seen them in a while on RAW. I take even more issue with Lawler. It has gotten to a point where he needs to make an apology for the things he’s said. I have respect for him, but I may have lost it. I always felt it was an act, a guise, but I now understand that Lawler is a man with psychological problems and now he is making fun of people in bad situations. Comments like he has made regarding Maven’s mother “milking” having Cancer for all its worth, or about his bagels being made of Ju-do, the racist, and the sexist comments have gone overboard. If he can’t control what he says, then he shouldn’t be an announcer and if he is told to say these comments then God help a society that allows this, and Lawler being part of it is reprehensible. He needs to take his old fat opulent ass back to Memphis and law enforcement needs to keep him away from local schools and children. Not everything is a joke and the sophomoric pranks of a man over fifty no longer interest me, especially when his jokes are hurtful. JR has taken him to task a few times, including tonight when Lawler proclaimed that “car crashes are funny” but comments like that speak for themselves and JR scolding him is not enough. I know the mother of a girl who was killed unmercifully by a drunk driver and has photos of the accident that she has to look at everyday. I bet she really things that was funny. As the bones of her daughter were crushed, limbs mangled, by a man under the influence who blames the girl and says that the mother needs to “get over it”. When her lungs were crushed and she died at the scene, that was real funny. Bringing the injured Randy Orton in for the main event was a great idea, I’m personally glad that they aren’t giving up on “Evolution”. Other than that, the main event was good but I don’t think having Bischoff work matches is going to work if overused. That’s what Chief Morely is for. Why tease the lumberjack match, though, and then not do it. As for Austin, surprise surprise, his return hasn’t been as successful as Austin marks said it would be. It’s a universal lesson that I keep saying over and over again… it’s still ultimately “what’s booked and how” more than “who’s booked”. I’m not understating what a successful talent means to a company, I couldn’t, being the student of wrestling history that I call myself, but as it pertains to WWE now, that is a lesson that need be learned in that “if the writing isn’t good, the people won’t buy it”. In other words shit plus shit still equals shit no matter who you’ve got doing – my Mathematics teacher taught me that principal. I don’t care if you have Lou Thesz, Ric Flair, Steve Austin, the Rock, the Sheik – shit writing still equals no viewers. Is Austin past his prime? If you were making that argument, which could be true, pretty much everything post-return could be used to support it. Key notes from SmackDown: Vince McMahon is a very, very sick and demented man.
QUOTES OF THE WEEK
Mike Sempervive–
“Five years ago, Steve Austin and Triple H stop match to watch fans fight in a crowd of 15,458. The way it seems now, if two people were to fight at a WWE house show it would involve 10% of the total crowd.”
“The Torch runs a snippet of Jeremy Borash’s ‘From The Inside’ column where he states that on Wednesday, ‘There wasn’t a bad segment on the show. Everything clicked, and I’ve never felt better about the effort put fourth by our roster. It was a definite homerun (sic).’ The people who watched Hacksaw Duggan-Mike Sanders match instead of seeing Ron Killings, consider giving TNA their own ‘surprise’ for next week. Not ordering.”
Bob Magee, in honor of “ten years at Viking Hall”: “Even those of us (who) used to (go to) shows in flea markets, bars, schools, and even parking lots thought… ‘a Bingo Hall?’ From May 14, 1993, until the promotion’s last Philadelphia show on December 23, 2000… ECW created unparalleled magic in one of the most improbable locations ever to hold wrestling on a regular basis….the building that became the world’s most famous Bingo Hall…the building that truly became the ECW Arena. On May 14, 1993, we couldn’t ever have known what was to come. If someone had told us that this fledging (sic) wrestling promotion owned by a center city pawnbroker, would make its home in this building… would be seen nationwide on cable television… would go on PPV from it in four years… would have wrestling fans around the world chanting ‘ECW…ECW…ECW’, to this very day… If someone had told us that it would feature talent ranging from New Japan stars Eddie Guerrero, Dean Malenko, Chris Jericho, and Chris Benoit to lucha stars Rey Misterio (sic), Jr., Juventud Guerrera, La Parka, and Psicosis… to Horsemen and Midnight Express members Arn Anderson and Bobby Eaton… to All Japan stars Steve Williams, Terry Gordy, Dan Kroffat and Doug Furnas, and Gary Albright… to Japanese lucha style stars Great Sasuke, Gran Hamada, and TAKA Michinoku… to wrestling legends like Stan Hansen, Abdullah The Butcher, Jerry Lawler, Terry and Dory Funk, and Kevin Sullivan… If someone had told us that it would see the creation of the most memorable new character of the last decade…a character called Raven… and that the company would change the direction of the professional wrestling industry… if someone had told us ALL these things would happen and more… We would have looked at you, and told you that you were in need of serious psychiatric help.”
That’s all for this week, I’ll be going to SmackDown on Tuesday so I’ll be sure to talk about my “experiences” next week. Much love for our Armed Forces.
~Trevor
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