~~~~~THE TBL NEWSLETTER~~~~~
Volume 2, Issue #5
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Brought to you by:
The TBL Newswire –
http://www.360revolve.com/balrog/
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Contents:
I. Note from the Editor
II. News & Rumors
III. Columns
IV. Advertisements
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Note from the Editor:
Joe Balrog
balrog275@geocities.com
Note from the Editor:
Hi everyone, this issue of the newsletter is being sent out to you as I am getting ready to leave for college. What does this mean? Well basically, Dave Talbert and Lance Smith are going to take upward roles on the newsboard until I can get my internet established at my new house at college…it’s funny. I had two years in the dorms with a T3 connection (you don’t get any faster than that kiddies) and a cable modem at my house here. And now that I’m moving into a new house, I’m going back to a dial-up! Don’t ask, it’s a long story! So, enjoy this edition of the newsletter (with newsletter exclusives beginning today with The Two Sheds Review coming on board for newsletters ONLY) and I’ll be back online as soon as I can!
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News & Rumors:
All news and rumors taken from The TBL Newswire
^^^Hulk Hogan and the WWF^^^
The last time Hulk Hogan and Vince McMahon spoke was this past April, before WrestleMania X-7. The two were conversing about a possible usage of Hogan to wrestle Triple H. Although this was not too premature of the date of WrestleMania, the deal never went through. Now that Hulk Hogan’s supposed Universal Studio’s promotion no longer being formed, there is a decent chance that Hogan and McMahon could reach an agreement for Hulk Hogan to be part of the next WrestleMania held in Toronto. If this were to happen it would be at least a month prior to WrestleMania in April that Hogan would appear on WWF television hyping up his huge return to the WWF. The possibility of this would be increased given WCW spawns off into a seperate entity. – Joel Covnut
^^^Russo and Sid Vicious^^^
Vince Russo is contemplating not working the Austrailian Tour because Sid Vicious will be involved. Sid will be filing a lawsuit against Time Warner for his grueling ankle snap suffered at his final pay-per view in-ring match with the Time Warner owned WCW. Russo has been supported by Time Warner in his legal proceedings with Hulk Hogan over the famous, “shoot or work” incident that led to Hogan’s downfall in WCW. Russo feels Time Warner would see it as a conflict of interest to work on the same tour with a man who is suing his legal supporter. – Joel Covnut
^^^WWFE Comings and Goings^^^
Gangrel has left the WWF. Chaz’s contract won’t be renewed when it expires in January. It’s a shame about Chaz; especially when WWFE still have room on their roster for Palumbo, O’Haire and Stasiak. Jazz, formerly of ECW, has signed a contract with WWFE. Once Scott Steiner has recovered from his current back injury he will be evaluated and possible offered a WWFE contract. – Kevin Malton
^^^Scott Steiner and Jeff Jarrett^^^
Jeff Jarrett and Rick Steiner are expected to return to the WWF around the time of Survivor Series. Jarrett’s contract ends in October and Steiner’s in November. Don’t be surprised if you see both these wrestlers return to the WWF as top heels. – Vin Gopps
^^^Francine and the WWF^^^
Former ECW manager Francine is telling sources that she was initially offered a job by the World Wrestling Federation, but turned it down. The reason given was she was told that she would have to take bumps and train to be a wrestler. Francine has not been in contact with the WWF ever since. – Joel Covnut
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Columns:
Rounding the Squared Circle
By: Sam Jerry
samjerry@aol.com
“WELCOME TO DUDLEY 101”
OR
“YOU GOTTA GO WITH WHAT WORKS”
Several people (well at least two) have written and asked “How many Dudley’s are there?” That is like asking a question like why the wind blows. Birth records in Dudleyville (where all Dudley’s must be born to be considered real Dudley’s) are worst than those kept in the Dominican Republic. What I can do is tell you the Dudley’s that have left Dudleyville to seek their fortune. We all know of Bubba Ray and D-Von (sometimes spelled DeVon – both are considered correct by Dudleyville University’s distinguished Linguistics Department), who are brothers. Some of you may not have noticed that there is not much of a family resemblance between them. The reason for that is why D-Von is called “The Brother From Another Mother.” Big Daddy Dudley got around a little, and was married to D-Von mother for one night – the night he met her. D-Von’s mama’s name is Delafina Duprois-Dudley, but friends call her Hot Mama. She lives in Beautiful Uptown Dudleyville. Some might call this a one night stand, but Big Daddy assures me he loved every woman he ever spent one night with. Big Mama Dudley is Bubba Ray’s mama. She also assured me that she loved every man she ever spent a single night with, and she has been in love many times. She lives in Beautiful Downtown Dudleyville, in upscale Dudleyville Downs, overlooking Dudleyville Bay.
Next comes Little Spike Dudley (LSD), known affectionately as “The Runt Of the Litter.” He has always been the White Sheep of the family, and hence sort of an outsider. He was also sired by Big Daddy Dudley, out of Dolly Dooley-Dudley, another of Big Daddy’s short time marriages. After Dolly became with child, she moved into Big Daddy’s house and Big Mama treated her like a daughter, and help her raise LSD. She still lives with them.
When Bubba Ray, D-Von and LSD were in ECW, two other Dudley’s were there with them. They were Big Dick Dudley and Sign Guy Dudley. Both are Bubba Ray’s full brothers. Big Dick is the oldest of Big Daddy’s boyz, and the nastiest. He didn’t wrestle much because of his tendency to do vast bodily damage to his opponents. It is said he is so mean that he once beat a man half to death just for keeping him awake on a long train ride with his snoring. No man was ever more appropriately named. Sign Guy Dudley was Big Daddy’s second born, and is the brain of the family, going all the way to 7th grade in school. He spent very little time in the ring. He used his superior intellect in a creative way by making signs and banners that he brought to the ring during Bubba Ray and D-Von’s matches.
Then there are Snot Dudley and Snerd Dudley, who also consider themselves The Dudley Boyz. Last I heard of them, they were wrestling in the boonies of Florida. Snot and Snerd are the sons of Big Daddy Dudley’s younger brother Diamond Dallas Dudley (DDD) (before you ask, no there is absolutely no relationship and DDD gets very pissed when asked), and Mama Mae Dudley, a former Miss Dudleyville. DDD and Mae also live in Beautiful Downtown Dudleyville, but in a must more modest area.
Although it is rumored that there are other Dudley’s wrestling, that concludes today’s lesson. Should you attend a Indy House Show anywhere in the world and a Dudley be on the card, let me know and I’ll keep the world apprised. That concludes today’s lesson. Next time I may discuss the founding of The Acme Corporation, whose World Headquarters is in Beautiful Downtown Dudleyville.
Since this is reputed to be a wrestling column, I thought I might comment on a small piece of news that came out earlier in the week. Chuck Palumbo, who was WCW Tag Team Champion at the time of The Demise and The Rebirth, is receiving high marks from the powers in The WWF. Unfortunately his partner Sean O’Haire has not scored real well and looks to be ticketed to the minors for a bit of training. It seems that when Palumbo first came over he didn’t speak to anyone in The WWF, especially some of the bigger names, and had begun to get bad reputation over it. It was being said that he didn’t look like a team player. This past week it was revealed that he didn’t approach or speak to people like Stone Cold Steve Austin (SCSA), HHH, The Rock, etc., because it was verboten to do so with people like Nash, Hall, etc., in “Old” WCW.
I mention this because it shows yet another reason why WCW ended up in the junk yard of history. How the hell do you run an operation like a wresting federation when the young, up-and-coming talent can’t talk to the veterans. It is how they learn. When there are people more interested in protecting their turf than they are in the success of the company, it is a recipe for disaster. It is yet another reason why Emperor McMahon should avoid signing Nash when he becomes available. While popular with the fans, he can be destructive to the overall health of the company. Nash will never impress anyone with his work habits or ring ability, so IMHO the benefits of signing him are far outweighed by the negatives be brings to the table. I have always found Nash to be entertaining with his easy going style cutting promos, but think his presence could be a cancer in the locker room. No matter what anyone thinks; Nash and The Emperor are a*shole buddies. Although working his a*s off in WCW (Choke), he knew where his future paychecks were and stayed close to the man.
Sam Jerry
samjerry@aol.com
Food For Thought
By: Wrestlebabe
wrestlebabe316@hotmail.com
Hello Everyone! This week s column is loaded with questions. Hopefully the answers will be in forth coming.
SCSA Another match with Kurt Angle at Unforgiven? Will Austin add to the WWF Title the title King of Heels? Or will he lose the WWF title and take the King of @$$holes title? Mr & Mrs. Rattlesnake are both in dire need of therapy!! I can t imagine where the storyline would go if SCSA lost the WWF Championship. Looking at the recent storylines, it seems to me that the booker/writers are running out of fresh ideas! Don t get me wrong, I LOVED the Milk attack as much as the beer attack that took place in my home town of Albany, NY. It probably would have saved many gag sessions along with head and ear aches if our Olympic Hero showed up a few minutes earlier. Justin Crediable is the only Alliance member that came close to carrying a tune. Stephanie s voice was so horrible, she knocked herself out of action this past week. She actually had my dog howling!! The trying to hit Angle with a car was totally LAME. Fresh ideas are definitely needed. Maybe if the Bookers/writers got into a meditation routine and tried to clear those old ideas out of their heads?
One horrible storyline came to an end was the DDP/Sara piece of crap. Thank GOD!! Don t get me wrong, The Undertaker/American Bad Ass is STILL my all time favorite!! Sara and DDP both SUCK!! The only was that story line might have been saved was to get Kimberly Page involved. That apparently was a no go, though she would have looked 100% better on Bubby s arm than Sara!! (Incase you don t know, Bubby is my pet name for Undertaker)
Questions: Where are: Eddie Guerrero? The Cat? Val Venus? Goldberg? Stevie Richards? Members of KroniK? Stinko Malenko? (The guy had 0 personality, but what a wrestler!!) Rey Mysterio Jr.? D Lo Brown?
Another question: Does having championship titles being dominated by a few chosen wrestlers make for good storylines? The McMahon staff has almost tripled, wouldn t Vince get more for his money if he distributed the work more evenly among the staff? I really don t see where The McMahon s are making a profit anymore nor are they getting their money s worth from the huge staff they have. Don t get me wrong, Undertaker and Kane are THE BEST tag champions of all time, but to have them dominate both federation titles leaves the rest of the tag teams in a limbo.
XPAC, double champion? There are too many other wrestlers in both feds that are capable of taking away one or both titles. What happened to Billy Kidman? What about the title hungry Christian? Tajuri is another wrestler I d like to see more of too. This is a big division – Wake it UP!!
I have to talk about Shawn Stasiak!! I wonder how many times his dad has rolled over in his grave? Problem is, the guy has talent!! He s hilarious!! The sad part is, he hasn t found his nitch and from the looks of things, his chances of becoming a champion like his Dad are very remote. Then again, all that is needed a FRESH idea that fits!! I hope so, he s got potential.
Hurricane Helms Mr./Captain Ridiculious!! From Sugar Shane Helms Fantastic WCW Cruiserweight Champion back when, to a painted up Stupper Hero?
(I can picture Tommy and Chuckie of the Rugrats watching; Chuckie, “Tommy, that Hurricane Helms as a Stupper Hero really sucks” Tommy, “You’re right Chuckie, we’ll write a letter to Shane McMahon, so he’ll get rid of that stupid Stupper Hero”.)
To be honest, this kind of BS idea went out years ago? Helm’s being put into a J@ck@$$ character that headed nowhere fast!! Too bad, this kid has talent!!
Lance Storm Mr Ridiculious #2!! Personality 0, wrestling skills unlimited!! What a shame!! Power Rangers Underwear? So SAD!!
Booker T Mr. Ridiculious #3!! Spin-A-Rooney the most electrifing move? Break dancing went out in the 80 s folks!! This Sucka really SUCKS!!
RVD!!! He s off the chart!! It seems like he s being held back in the storylines because of the SCSA No interalliance Matches rule!! Let this guy go!! Give him the Mic and some competition!!
There are other sad lost causes because of lack of creativity of the Bookers:
Raven!! He s being held back!! Taking too much BS!!
TAZ How long to we have to wait for the mood to REALLY change? He s taking too much BS from SCSA!! I know Taz can kick SCSA s @$$ big time!! Taz should be wearing a gold strap, not being beat with a leather one!!
Mike Awesome The former Career Killer!? A spark of hope maybe for a Kurt Angle feud? Spark was squished is 2 seconds flat with Mike left laying flat. Competition and more confrontation would make for more interesting shows!!
Speaking of interesting show WWF Excess!! GREAT Show!! Who didn t LOVE seeing and hearing from Triple H!?! His knee still looked so swollen!! Wrestling Critics It s FAKE???!!! Like HELL it s fake!! Wrestling may be scripted like any other soap opera, but the Athleticism and injury possibilities are VERY REAL!!
Only problem I had with the show was the over abundance of recaps. They should let the special guest answer more questions. RVD he should have had more air time too!! The classic match to close the show is an excellent idea. I hope Taz s match is the one he had with Bam Bam Bigelow from an old ECW PPV. That match was FANTASTIC!! Hearing about Kevin Nash was great. I m glad the caller was allowed to ask his original question.
Tough Enough MTV s most watched show!! This show is mesmerizing, I m going to hate to see it end!! The contestants are learning everything and taking breaks to have fun too which makes for a well rounded show. Most of the cuts that have been made were not surprising. I REALLY want to see Maven win!! He is THE BEST all around out of the men. Josh s girlfriend is a total Jerk, she s got him whipped so he won t last. Big Chris is a Big Jerk. Taylor is still my pick out of the women. She wants it the most because she doesn t seem to have a life otherwise. I d like to see Nidia get a contract because the WWF could use another woman anyway. I have to say, Al Snow is fantastic on the show, I enjoy him co-hosting Sunday Heat too!! Al Snow is a total credit to the Sports Entertainment Industry!! He should be in The Hall of Fame when all is said and done!!
Final questions:
What is the status of the WWF Woman s Title? Having Chyna win it in the first place was a BIG mistake. Joannie was on Larry King as Former WWF s Chyna . Jackie, Lita and Ivory are the main talent. Molly has put on weight and needs to get into better shape. Kiebler and Wilson look good but totally SUCK otherwise!! Give Taylor and Nidia contracts to wake up this sleeping division!!
Why are there no status reports on Chris Benoit? I for one hope he makes it back soon!!
Why was the Excess caller told to change his question? I m glad he didn t!! I d LOVE to see Kevin Nash come back with a new Wolfpac featuring the guys that are among the missing and some of the left outs HBK, Road Dogg, and Brian Christopher!! Wouldn t that be EXCITING!!?
Final Thoughts:
Forgotten wish Kanyon/Jericho feud!! These guys have the Mic and wrestling skills to make for a GREAT feud!!
Edge seems to be getting pushed too hard. Doesn t look like any good is going to come out of the direction they got him going in!
The Hardys and Lita are due for some time off!! That has to be why their storylines are going in the direction they re in.
There is room for a cruiser/light weight tag team division!! How about it?
Kane The King of Commericals!! I Love this guy! The Stacker II crooner was a riot!! The Kiss The Chef apron in the Beefaroni commericals was adorable!! The mask can t hide the personality!!!
Mick Foley in TNN s version of Battlebots is a great lead in to RAW on Monday nights. Mick needs to let things flow. He seems to be trying to be clever. He doesn t have to try, he is!!
Wrestlebabe
wrestlebabe316@hotmail.com
The Two Sheds Review
By: Julian Radbourne
TWOSHEDS316@aol.com
Website – www.geocities.com/juli316uk
Newsletter – twoshedschronicles-subscribe@topica.com
A couple of things in recent weeks have led me to once again think about a certain wrestler, a man who helped make the world of wrestling what it is today.
Ever since a certain incident at Bash at the Beach last year, Hulk Hogan hasn’t really been in the public eye that much. There has been no retirement announcements, which I know has disappointed many a wrestling fan, including yours truly. There has been no call from the man who made him king to come back to the place that made him famous.
The only things we have heard in recent months is that old Terry is trying to start his own wrestling promotion. But this story has been doing the rounds for months, along with the ones that if he actually got the promotion off the ground, we would see the likes of Randy Savage and Roddy Piper competing for him.
But one interesting news item really got me interested about Hogan’s proposed promotion – that being that he is considering basing the promotion in Europe.
Now, I know this is going to sound like an anti-American rant, but do you really have to send him over here just so he can make a living? Okay, many well known and talented Americans now make their home in Europe, but what makes Hogan think that we want to watch he and his ilk slowly huffing and puffing around a German beer hall, with Jimmy Hart shouting encouragement through his megaphone to the bemused delight of Hans and Frans.
I seem to recall that Hogan thinks that European wrestling fans would be more receptive to his brand of wrestling. Does Hogan think that we Europhiles would want to cheer Hogan v Savage chapter 9,257,874? The answer, quite simply, is no.
If Hogan were to base his new company in Europe, he, and all the other has-beens he’s hoping to recruit, would have to do something that he and his comrades did not do while they worked for the likes of WCW – actually wrestle on a regular basis.
And what television company here in the UK would want to carry a program of Hogan-brand wrestling. Sky already has the WWF, one of the most popular shows it has had since the network began in 1989. The BBC? No chance in hell. ITV? Probably not. Channel 4 – given the fact that they are ending their agreement with the WWF, probably not them either. Channel 5 – hmm, perhaps.
Unless Hogan et al are going to offer us a credible alternative to the WWF, now that they have virtually no competition, then UK fans won’t want to drink his kool-aid.
While staying on the subject of the so-called “Real American”, the Biography Channel here in Britain have been repeating their “Body Slam Week” or programs. I enjoyed these the first time around, and I thought that it would be good to view them again, especially the first one about Andre The Giant.
I’ve mentioned this before, but one bit that really got me thinking concerned the events surrounding Wrestlemania III, still regarded as one of the best Wrestlemanias ever.
By 1987, Andre’s career, because of his condition, acro-megelee, was coming to an end. This giant of a man who had carried the wrestling world on his shoulders since the late sixties was turning into a lumbering behemoth in the ring. The skills that thrilled the world for nearly two decades were now greatly diminished.
A few months before WMIII, Andre underwent back surgery to relieve some pain, and there was some doubt about whether he’d ever wrestle again. The fact that he did recover from the surgery was a testament to the spirit of the man.
The entire event was sold on the main event of Hogan v Andre alone. It was the old school v new school kind of thing, and it showed what sort of drawing power these two had back then.
In the documentary, Vince McMahon said that Hogan was truly impressed that Andre, this wrestling legend, was willing to job to him, to pass the torch as it were, to put him over. Hogan was truly grateful that Andre would do this thing for him.
But while watching this segment, I couldn’t help but think back to a certain event last year – when Hogan refused to job to Jeff Jarett, instead invoking the creative control clause in his contract so that he would end up WCW World Champion.
I was left to wonder, if Andre had been alive today, what would he have made of Hogan’s attitude that night? What would he have thought of Hogan refusing to pass the torch to a younger man, given the fact that his career was beginning to wind down?
Sadly, we will never know. But it just goes to show what kind of man Andre was, and what kind of man Hogan truly is.
Julian Radbourne
TWOSHEDS316@aol.com
Poke in the Eye
By: The Headliner
headliner@poke-in-the-eye.com
Imagine this for a moment. You’re dressed up as a hideous demon, straight from the bowels of Hell, with huge lacerating teeth and a foul, viscous fluid oozing from your pores. This is no ordinary Hallowe’en costume – you look as real as they come, and terrifyingly ghastly with it. So ghastly, in fact, that the Devil himself has fallen for the disguise hook, line and sinker, and has taken time out from his busy schedule of inhumane torturings to speak with you, one-to-one.
For two solid hours, you battle your repulsion, somehow keeping up the act as the Prince of Darkness discusses with you the ins and outs of the shadowed yet fiery Underworld, and explains his Satanic views on matters which, in reality, affect your everyday life. Eventually, as he turns to leave, your hatred for him leads you to blow your own cover. You prepare to run as you see his eyes begin to glow red, but he just smiles. As he calmly walks around a distant corner, you quickly dump your disguise in a nearby bush and make tracks. Upon reaching your home, you lie down. Your heart is pounding at an impossible rate. You are physically shaking. You have just done the unthinkable. You have just sat and conversed with the ultimate Evil.
That is how I felt after my online chat with L Brent Bozell III. This month marks the one-year anniversary of my undercover interview with the chairman of the Parents Television Council. And I’m still not over it.
I look back on that day and suddenly my blood pressure is right back up. I hate Brent Bozell for many reasons. I hate his attitude. I hate his unconscious hypocrisy. I hate his generalizing insults of WWF fans during the chat session. I hate his facial appearance. I hate his secretary adding me to her own personal anti-Gore spamming list just because I arranged a meeting with her boss.
I hate his bare-faced lies. I hate his arrogance. I hate his dialect. I hate his manipulative blackmailing of innocent sponsors. But most of all, I hate him.
Perhaps you’re thinking that I’m making this up, that I never did speak with Bozell and I’m simply spreading lies out of hatred for the PTC’s witch hunt of the World Wrestling Federation or as a devious ploy to make myself look good. Well don’t worry – you’re not the only one. I have sent details of the interview to activist websites ‘PTC Sucks!’ and ‘Wrestling Fans Against Censorship’, as well as a full transcript to WWF Head of Talent, Jim Ross, all to no response whatsoever. So if you don’t believe me, it’s pretty clear that you’re not alone. However, I would suggest that you take a look at the transcript yourself, along with an explanation of how I managed to fool Bozell into attending the online chat, in the ingeniously titled ‘L for Lucifer’ section of my own website, which is linked to at the end of this column. You could also contact my witnesses, one of whom currently works for 3Wrestling.com and owns WWFInferno.com. They were there. They know it happened.
And a lot has gone down since it did. As I’ve said, that was twelve months ago, when the PTC was at its most trigger happy. Since that cloudy September afternoon, World Wrestling Federation Entertainment has filed a lawsuit against the PTC, claiming, amongst other things, financial damages caused by corporate defamation. Bozell and his crooked associates tried to have the case thrown out of court, but the request was denied.
Still, these legal proceedings have not yet pulled the PTC into line. They continue to make false allegations about the WWF, including a published list on their website of companies who the Council claims to have pulled advertising from ‘SmackDown!’, but who in fact still regularly fund commercials during the Thursday night UPN show.
And it’s not only the WWF which falls unfairly within the PTC’s crosshairs. They ranked ‘Dawsons Creek’ in their Five Worst Shows for the 2000-2001 season. Now, I don’t know what you think of ‘Dawsons Creek’ in terms of quality, but in terms of fluffy, all-American wholesome goodness, I’d personally put it up there in the top five. It baffles me sometimes as to just what planet these people are on.
Will the PTC be stopped? I really don’t know. I heard some time ago that they issued a desperate-sounding financial plea to all of their members, stating fears that if WWFE won the court case it could spell the end for the Council and the associated Media Research Center. This I can only treat as a rumor, but if it is indeed true and the PTC’s worried speculations are accurate, then I think it would be a real shame.
What?!
Yes. A real shame. Because in principle, the Parents Television Council’s goals are honorable and worthwhile. In an increasingly desensitized society, it is important for young children to be protected from influences that could harm them, and that is what groups like the PTC aim to do. I just think that certain individuals within the organization have a tendency to get carried away and take things too far, without pausing to allow logic or common sense into the frame. If these legal matters can be resolved without depriving America’s parents of an informed spokesperson, then that would be wonderful. I just don’t want that mouthpiece to be Brent Bozell.
The man is dangerous. He has the ability to convince the general public of just about anything he wants them to believe. Which is, unfortunately, why I must give the Devil his due – because I can’t even get people to believe that I spoke with the guy.
Email: headliner@poke-in-the-eye.com
Website: http://www.theheadliner.co.uk/
The Headliner
headliner@poke-in-the-eye.com
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Copyright © 1999 – 2001 Joe Vincent
